Aka: Weekend in Review

Surreal, slow motion, mid-air collision during the flag football game. Kinda intriguing to watch. And no one was really hurt... Conversations on the church lawn, complete with my mindless pulling/tossing grass in the air. I don't know why I must continually move during conversations. I just do... Staying up WAY too late... Happy to find a cute new purse at a garage sale for 50 cents!... Cleaning my room. Re-budgeting my finances. Which I can do because there is actually money coming in again!!!... Dusky walk about town with The Golden Girl... S'mores: the roomie way. Meaning we used steel kabobs to toast marshmallows over the propane grill, then microwaved the chocolate and ate on cinnamon graham crackers. Surprisingly delicious.... Getting caught in the sprinkler while watering flowers... Sunday Fun: Laughing during worship because the drummer (The Little Bro) accidentally tossed his drumstick in the air, where it twirled several times and he caught it again without missing a beat. His face was pure shock and awe!... Guest preacher who sounded so much like Nicodemus from the old Bill Gunter, US Marshall shows. Really! The southern accent of "steel" = still, or "tin" = ten, or the drawl that makes every word several syllables longer! :) .... An AMAZING message on Sunday evening, about listening to God, going out to the wilderness/river/rooftop---anywhere without distractions, hearing the word of the Lord and being obedient. Truly, a Word fitly spoken straight to my heart... Finally eating at the 3rd restaurant we drove to. C'mon, people, 9:00 pm is not that late!... Walking on chairs to escape my prison in the corner of our 15-person table. Necessary evil... Lazy holiday morning of puttering about the house, making food and cleaning... Picnic in the sunlight. Sometimes blinding, sometimes golden. Beautiful summer.... Conversations in which the topics range from the hilarious to ridiculous to spiritual... That's my church. Always passionate about Jesus, always laughing and always loud about everything! :)

"Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders which You have done, And Your thoughts toward us; There is none to compare with You. If I would declare and speak of them, They would be too numerous to count." Psalm 40:5

Yes. It's true. MANY are the wonders that the Lord has done in my life! On April 10th, I was officially laid off from my job. It was very surprising. Totally unexpected. Because I work in accounting and there's always money, right? Right. Except with the crazy economy, there's less money to go around... Hence, the temporary layoff. I was told that I would be recalled when things started looking up for the business, in approximately a month.

Even from the moment my supervisor called me into the office, I felt a supernatural peace. Sure, I have a house (thus a mortgage) and bills and need to eat and live and all that, but I just wasn't worried. That was totally God.

So the layoff lasted five weeks. I spent time working whenever I could, whether for my employer as they needed me (very little) or for the family business. And filling my time with home jobs and helping people and taking a little trip to North Carolina to see my brother and generally trying to do anything & everything that I can't do while working during normal business hours! . :) I was expecting a little more rest and relaxation, but my work conscience didn't allow that very much.... as you all can see, even blogging fell by the wayside.

I didn't have ANY income for 4 weeks. And very little for 6 weeks. And here's the awesome part:

God supernaturally provided for all my needs!! And I was even able to pay off some major house-renovation debt, because of how the Lord ordered my financial footsteps... I was amazed and excited and so thankful. I wasn't expecting that debt to be gone for a year, at least. :)

The Lord is Jehovah Jireh. My Provider. The One who has already been to my place of need and provided for me!!

And now here I am.. on the other side of a valley. Looking back in joy, looking forward in hope. There were times that I didn't know when or if I would have a job again. But I learned to trust. And God proved Himself faithful to His Word. He does not allow the righteous to be forsaken or His godly ones begging bread. :) (and thanks to people in the Body who helped me and offered their food & company & encouragement!!!)

God is Good.
All the Time.
And that is why...
I testify!!

My last blog entry was intended to illustrate how little I really knew or understood about my future at the age of 17. And to glorify God for His constant presence and leading and protection. And though the trials have been many and varied, I do not regret these experiences. Sometimes I think, "Oh, I could have handled that differently" or "Why haven't I gained victory in this area yet?" or "When is the answer to my prayer coming?" or "Why is life so HARD?" But honestly, I don't wanna think about the person I would've become without the flaming furnace of life (and ultimately, the hand of God) purifying me.

I think differently than I did at the age of 17. I act differently. I talk differently. I have a different focus and direction. A different response to people. A different perspective on many things. And praise God for that! He changed me when I didn't even know that I needed changing. He changed me without me even knowing that He was doing anything... He allowed the crushing pressures of life to force me crawling and broken and desperate for Him. How awesome.

Purify my heart
Let me be as gold
and precious silver
Purify my heart
Let me be as gold, pure gold

Refiner's fire
My heart's one desire
Is to be holy
Set apart for You, Lord
I choose to be holy
Set apart for You, my Master
Ready to do Your will.

I didn't know that 9 years after graduating from high school, I would still reside in central Pennsylvania.

I didn't know that I would gain a passionate love for youth ministry.

I didn't know that worship would take its rightful, secondary place in the work of the kingdom of God, as a subtext to the preaching of the Word. And thus, a subtext in my life.

I didn't know that I would watch friends come and go, love Jesus and then leave Him, and destroy their lives through the consequences of their sin.

I didn't know that I would ever like coffee.

I didn't know that my passport would remain empty, save the lonesome stamp from the Philippines (and an imaginery stamp from Mexico).

I didn't know that my home decorating tastes would be dramatically altered. Black and silver? Modern? Ugh! Think British library look. Understated. Cozy, comfortable and a little antique-y. :)

I didn't know that I would be 26 years old and not married.

I didn't know that I would watch my sister get married and have children, while my dreams of motherhood and adoption lay dormant.

I didn't know that I would actually like portrait photography more than landscape photography.

I didn't know that the young siblings of my peers would become the youth group that I am leading.

I didn't know that my church would be meeting in a house.

I didn't know that I would be teaching/preaching weekly.

I didn't know that my hair would be long, long, long. And I would refuse to cut it short again. :)

I didn't know that I would prefer the solitude of my parents' mountaintop home to the hustle/bustle of a college town.

I didn't know that I would purchase my first house alone.

I didn't know that I would be thanking the Lord for NOT giving my soul what it desired in romantic relationships.

I didn't know that I would be more mystified about my future now than I was ever before.

I didn't know that it would take 5 years to finish Bible college.

I didn't know that I would gain close Christian friendships as a result of an Internet message board.

I didn't know that I would look back and shake my head in amazement that God used me in ministry when I was so immature.

I didn't know that "always & forever" friendships sometimes end quickly.

I didn't know that I would grow out of my obsession with music, and would go years without purchasing a CD. Wow.

I didn't know that I would possess an ever-increasing love for Christ, and an ever-increasing gratitude that He loved me enough to die for me--even die on a cross.

I didn't know that the weakness of the flesh, the tendencies towards laziness and desire for pleasure would not decrease or disappear when I became an adult/got a full-time job/etc. The consequences just became more serious.

I didn't know that I would esteem and respect my parents so much more (and that it was possible to do so).

I didn't know that I would survive being fired. And being laid off. And seeing a family member turn their back on God.

I didn't know that some reality would seem like a nightmare. But God's presence was always the supernatural peace that stayed my soul.


What I didn't know at 17... wasn't that important. Because I knew enough to follow whatever God told me to do. What kept me, held me, led me, protected me through these years has been the constant leading of the Holy Spirit. The reassurance that the Lord is directing my footsteps. And though I could see only the knotted parts of this tapestry-in-progress, the end of this work will be a thing of beauty!

Aka. Weekend in Review

Many jokes about The Curly Girl not coming to her own farewell party. No worries, though—she came!

Warning the volleyball players “You’re gonna knock that net over!!”… and 30 seconds later, * BAM* three people and a volleyball net tumble to the ground. Sometimes “I told you so” is very appropriate.

Strumming a guitar and softly singing by firelight.

Four people needed to build the fire to its necessary state of roaring flames. Which it became about 15 minutes before everyone had to leave. * sigh* Nice try though.

Sorting a whole box of teaching CDs. :)

Fighting with technology for a cumulative 7 hours over the entire weekend. GRRRR.

Hoeing my garden, bending the hoe and then smashing it against a stone wall to unbend it. Surprisingly, that really worked!

Planting adorable little flower, herb and vegetable plants. “And there’s zucchini! Awww, so cute!” :)

Dodging raindrops in high heels while running up to the Bryce Jordan Center for The Golden Girl’s college graduation.

Making slightly politically-incorrect comments throughout the graduation ceremony. For which, The Butterfly Girl slapped me. LOL

Giggling in amazement at “John Calvin, the French humanist” and “hedonistic Calvinism.” That commencement speaker was a strange, yet humorous mix of education and convenient ignorance.

I love Wegmann’s. The candy selection. The tea selection….. Wow. Is there anything left to say??

CHURCH. :) Intense concentration during teaching, non-verbal communication with the drummer during worship, overactive enthusiasm about our guest speaker next week!!

Experiencing the joy of my small town’s spring festival… translates to something we call “fair food.” Apple dumplings & ice cream!!

Surprise graduation luau for The Golden Girl!!! “I love throwing surprise parties for people who are not self-obssessed. They’re easy to surprise because they honestly don’t think anyone would throw a surprise party for THEM!” :)

Pina coladas ROCK. (non-alcoholic, of course)… grilling chicken kabobs and watching the guys hack open two coconuts with a machete. Oh my word.

Answering the question: “How do you know that?” during board games… “Because I read!” “Because I Google!” “Because I’m half-British!”… Which I'm not. But it sounded good at the time!

* smile* Good weekend.

Crazy is the entire preparation for our youth drama outreach on Friday night. Trust me, the story is too long and complicated to write in my Weekend in Review.

Crazy is hands covered in black eyeliner, red, green and black facepaint, and deciding to spike the “devil’s” hair with hand lotion. (it worked)

Crazy is solving the we-have-no-working-stereo-for-our-drama-music problem by hooking up the ipod to the church van and blasting the music.

Crazy is starting the wrong song during outdoor drama practice and watching everyone spontaneously bob their heads, smile and jump around. It’s called releasing tension. :)

Crazy is watching my youth ROCK their drama… and more importantly, speak the Gospel boldly and passionately! I (heart) my youth group! And evangelism! And especially, both together!

Crazy is ice cream TWICE in one day (that does not happen often).

Crazy is staying up until 2:40 a.m. And the inclination to be hungry at two hour intervals during the night. My roommate thinks I’m straaaange…

Crazy is getting up at 4:30 a.m. to stand in line for hours and hours… for a book sale!

Crazy is losing my appetite because of spiteful people in the book sale line.

Crazy is my ramblings/musings/questions/discussion about the legal definition of verbal abuse.

Crazy is buying 76 books in one day.

Crazy is eating Sour Patch Kids candy at 5:05 a.m.

Crazy is watching two very-drunk college students laying in the middle of an intersection for no reason.

Crazy is jumping into a creek to rescue a blown-away graduation cap during a photo session. My friend's mother told me that I had gone above and beyond the call of (photographic) duty. :)

Crazy is shooting portraits for another 45 minutes in soaking wet jeans and shoes! * squish, squish, squish!!*

Crazy is getting excited about light shining through the clouds… onto someone’s golden-brown hair… making pretty shadows in the grass…

Crazy is having a conversation with my brother that ended with his words, “I want to bite your nose!” Cannibal. (do not fear, friends! I ducked and ran; my nose is perfectly fine!)

Crazy is my life. my world. my church. my people. my family. myself.

Crazy is good! :)

The pounding grows louder and louder. The wooden door shudders under the rapid blows. Minutes pass by, seeming like eternity. The small group huddles in the corner. They have been fortunate—blessed—protected for the last few years. Living in a neighborhood where the Roman soldiers are more concerned about feeding their pleasures, than rounding up families, old men, children, women, men, for some professed religious belief.

Now, however, the wind has changed. Within one week, this tiny assembly of believers has feared for their lives. This people—they are known only as ones who are “in the Way.” Sounds superstitious to outsiders. Spiritual, though called “atheistic” because these varied peoples refuse to serve gods made by human hands, no idols, no icons, no physical representation of the Deity to whom they are loyal unto death.

Yes, even death. Cities far and wide have witnessed the violence. Brutal culture exults in the death of the defenseless… even ones who refuse to give a defense. Yet, death is required because these people—soon to be known as “Christians”—also refuse to deny the Kingship of their God.

And…

Refuse to incriminate other Christians. Their so-called “brothers and sisters” in the faith. What kind of loyalty would die to save another?

The previous writing is a dramatization of what might have happened in the early church. Maybe a generation after Jesus had died and rose again. The Church was growing, increasing, even thriving. Persecution came in waves. What many thought would eliminate the problem of the Christians only served to increase their numbers. They were peculiar in their lifestyle and in their loyalty.

“Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

John 15:13

Over the weekend, my two roomies, my mom and I retreated to the rustic cabin in the mountains for some rest & relaxation. And reading. And riotous laughter. And ridiculously good food... And I will now attempt to avoid alliterations... :)

Quotes & Other Fun Memories:

Making mountain pies over the gas burners of a stove. Because it was raining outside. And campfires in the rain would be wayyyy too rustic for us. :) Pizza, toasted cheese, cherry or purple-berry mountain pies.

"It's nice having your own personal mom." -Me

Reading... napping... reading... thinking... reading...

"Drat! I will do penance for a half hour because of that." -Me
"I can tell you read alot of old books." -The Golden Girl

While enjoying the ambiance of a dusky spring evening by the flickering light of a campfire:
"What are you thinking about?" -The Mom
"My laptop." -Me (Because you can get the people away from technology, but can't get the technology away from the people).

While walking down an old country road admiring the cabins:
"Man, I wish I (in my mind: lived by a stream)... Oh, I am such an IDIOT!"
Yes, I live by a stream. Right by a stream! Apparently, I should open my windows more often to listen to the sounds of creek waters!

"I come with my own background music."
"I come with my own sound effects."
"I come with my own movie quotes."
Yes, I really do. Hence the reason I said these things!

Faces smeared with toasted marshmallow stickiness, chirping conversation with a chipmunk (I have a fascination with small animals), Killer UNO, three girls taking hundreds of self-portraits at the same time, taking pictures on the road... Because I always wanted to do that. I just said, "PLEASE tell me if a car is coming!", doing nails and straightening hair, silliness before sleep, and an early morning rush in bleary-eyed sleepy silence to get to church on time!