People say that the eyes are the window to the soul. Maybe that's true. Personally, I never let people get close enough to my eyes to stare into my soul! lol just kidding...

My theory is that sports are a window to the soul. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? But really, you can learn so much about yourself and others by observing how people act in sports. My pastor has often told me that he would play racquetball with the college guys while he was a campus group pastor. He said it showed their true character. I guess it's hard to act a certain way when you're busy trying to win a game. :) The real you just comes out!

Well, I learned a little bit about myself tonight. The youth group and I went to a local park to play softball. There's a good mix of people in the youth group--particularly different skill levels. Some people can barely hit the ball, some are relatively good and some actively participate in competitive baseball. So we played a few innings of softball (during which my team got soundly beaten!) and then took a break to snack. While we were playing, I had asked one of the youth guys---from now on, he will be known as The Joker---if he would pitch to me later. Like, really pitch. Like, baseball pitching. 'Cause the Joker plays as a pitcher in baseball (well, he did until his season ended a month ago because of a hand injury). He was incredulous at first, but then agreed.

Sooooo, after some water and Fruit Smiles, we head back to the diamond. Now I'm getting a little nervous... and then a little more nervous as I watched The Joker warm up. Those pitches were smokin'! Why do I want to do this again? I considered this thought for a split second. Maybe just to see if I can?

The pitches start coming. Fast. And. Furious. I'm swinging too late. I concentrate harder. Still a split-second too late. The balls make a scary whirring sound as they go over the plate, not too far from my head. A couple balls get too close for comfort and I jump back quickly. The Joker assures me that "he's only pegged one person in a game" (Oh yay!), "but it did look like they were in alot of pain" (I feel so much better). More pitches are coming. Contact was made- it's a foul ball. More pitches. More misses. Then, the inevitable. One second the baseball is whizzing toward me and the next, I'm flat on my back in the dirt. Literally. Reflexes are a wonderful thing---the only reason I don't have a hole the size of a baseball in my head at this moment... but I get up more determined than ever. I am more cautious this time. After more pitches and misses, one of the parents suggested a lighter bat. Sure enough, the bat change made a huge difference. Hit several fouls off the fastballs. Actually got one decent hit to right field on a curve ball. The Joker pitched maybe 30 balls to me.

What did I learn about myself and about life?
-Sometimes I just want to prove something to myself.
-I demand of myself what others have not demanded of me.
-I'm stubborn. But that stubbornness made me get up to bat again, when fear was very real.
-Sometimes circumstances humble me.
-Victory isn't always out-of-the-park obvious. Sometimes victory is a change in attitude, a molding of character or a strengthening of resolve.

I walk away with these lessons forming in my mind. The youth group changes to playing softball with plastic bats and balls (more like wiffleball). The playing field is much more even... mostly because no one knew when or where the ball would go. Plastic makes things entirely unpredictable! As usual, just hanging out is good times. Thanks to all for reading this philosophizing about sports! :)

Last weekend was a very short roadtrip to Wisconsin for my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary party. Some interesting things are, as follows:

"They don't drink water in Wisconsin; only milk and beer." according to my brother-in-law, clearly frustrated at the lack of water quality. And it's just about true. The consolation is that we were staying at the family dairy farm, which means.... all the pure and wonderful raw milk you can drink! *sigh* Bliss.

Staying at the "homestead" was one of the highlights of the trip. Watching The Niece and Nephew playing with toys that I played with as a child, washing dishes in the kitchen, finding barn kittens, letting itty-bitty calves suck on my fingers, the smell of fresh cut hay, the damp coolness of the milking parlor, the bachelor Uncles that remind me SO much of my daddy, the ever-present Green Bay Packer loyalty. I haven't been to the farm in the summertime for years and years, so I was very happy.

Sheba and Bob, the mangy sheep-herding dogs that now work at the farm (they herd cows, not sheep. just in case you were wondering). They lay down and roll over whenever you get within 20 feet. And my 23-month-old niece could tell them apart. What a smart girl she is!

Remember that book obsession o' mine? The Sis and I went "snooping" (as The Dad called it) through the attic. AND I found some lovely old books--but seriously, can old books be anything but lovely?--classic Nancy Drew. Don't hate! It reminds me of my childhood. The Diary of Anne Frank, The Great Escape and two books that I picked up because they were 60+ years old and looked interesting. Oh yes, and I wondered aloud why my Catholic family had books by Billy Graham. Hmmm.

Playing volleyball with various cousins, brothers, aunts, uncles, etc. I was made fun of because the cries of pain whenever the volleyball hit me... errr, rather, I hit the volleyball. :) That volleyball was hard as a rock! My whining was justified. I now have 3 purpley-black-green bruises on my arm. See!! I'm not a wimp!

Meat. Now I know where that carnivorous streak in my dad comes from. It's a German/Wisconsin/farmer thing!! :) Seriously, I like meat, but he LOVES meat. And it's no wonder. Bratwurst, summer sausage, fried fish, smoked salmon, roast pork and ham, etc. The only thing that didn't have meat was the toasted cheese sandwiches they wanted for breakfast (Breakfast! Who does that?). Oh wait, they ended up putting bacon on those. *rolls eyes*

Ya know, I met more people I'm related to than any other time in my life. Second cousins, great-uncles, third cousins, cousins removed, children of cousins and cousins removed... I could not remember who anybody was after about 5 minutes of introductions. After that, I just nodded and smiled and stuck to basic phrases like, "I'm hungry" and "Mmhmm." :) Intelligent, aren't I? And we took so many family pictures that my face hurt from smiling.

Strange as it sounds, I like the travelling part of road trips. The Little Bro rode shotgun during my night-driving stint on the way to Wisconsin. Our goal: To make it to the next state. My only-two-hours-of-sleep the night before probably wasn't too smart, but we made it to the next state without hurting anyone. Having 4+ drivers helps with the driving-through-the-night deal. Besides driving, there's alot of sleeping in awkward positions, making faces and singing funny songs to The Niece (aka. "Small Person"), eating Honeycomb cereal and drinking lots of caffeinated beverages.

Good times. :)

(disclaimer: I hate alcohol and utterly despise drunkenness. The mention of beer is an observation, not an endorsement.)

I don't even know where the phrase came from. The Original Virginia Friend started it (I think), but I don't remember if a specific incident that brought it about or it just evolved over time.

What is a fireside chat? You might be thinking, "What a curious term." A fireside chat is a time set aside for nothing more than talking with a friend or friends. "Do you have time for a fireside chat?" means, do you have anything to distract you from talking over something or a few things? The important part is "do you have time." Time is precious. Now, more than ever, people want to multi-task at every moment. Multi-tasking is great and I'm great at it.... until it involves conversations with friends. Then multi-tasking means I am only partially involved, only half-listening and most definitely not giving my friend the benefit of my full attention.

A fireside chat can happen anywhere... and contrary to the name, there doesn't even need to be a fire nearby! Methinks the fire reference denotes a certain ambiance of closeness and dare I say intimacy (in a purely familial sense, i.e. not romantic!)? A fireside chat can happen over the phone, or on instant messanger, but the most precious is definitely face-to-face. The expressions and communication that happens when people are present together in one place is irreplaceable. A fireside chat can happen at a restaurant, a quiet tea room, a back porch---I've even had one while sitting in chairs in the middle of a busy mall! Fireside chats that actually occur by a fire are pretty special, though!

A fireside chat always seems to have an element of seriousness in it. There's probably some smiling going on, if for no other reason than to lighten the mood when the hard topics come up. The actual topic is not the point---mostly how these things affect you. The words are honest, transparent, sometimes difficult to speak. The motive is always love. Love for Christ and love for the brethren.

Why do I love fireside chats? Because I've realized that I can spend an entire day with someone and not truly communicate with them. I count Godly friendships as something to be honored and revered. Whether I see my friends seldom or often, whether they live near or far, it always seems that when believers come together... iron sharpens iron. Sparks may fly for a while, but we all come out changed-encouraged, helped, challenged, transformed more into the image of Christ.

Where is the man that avoids, even shuns, the intimate gatherings of the wicked? Where is the man who remains unstained by the world? Where is the man whose robe of righteousness is white and pure still? Where is the man of holy convictions? Where is the man regards the pleasure of God as more important than the favor of man?

Where is the man of strength and authority? Where is the man who chooses a virtuous wife? Where is the man who loves unselfishly? Where is the man who sacrifices himself, as Christ has done for the Church? Where is the man that will discipline his children as the Word says to? Where is the man who speaks truth no matter the consequences?

Where is the man who loves the Bible? Where is the man who reveres it more than any other thing? Where is the man who constantly seeks its wisdom and life? Where is the man that rejects laziness and embraces self-discipline? Where is the man who makes his body a slave to the spirit and to God?

Where is the man unshakable by circumstances? Where is the man not given to outbursts of anger? Where is the man whose fruit is godliness? Where is the man whose sermons are lived and spoken? Where is the man willing to forego worldly gain for the keeping of integrity? Where is the man whose strength and kindness work together? Where is the man who reflects the face of Christ?

Where is the man powerful in prayer? Where is the man marked by the world as an alien and stranger? Where is the man given to fasting? Where is the man faithful to his own promises? Where is the man displaying joy in abundance? Where is the man whose heart is the Lord's?

Where is the man that walks with God?

Through all of my life, I have been blessed with a Godly father. His life is a beacon of light in a dark world. His quiet humility and strength of faith challenges, encourages and restrains me... keeping me on the straight and narrow path. It is no wonder that I wonder these questions. With such a man for an example, how can I think otherwise. My daddy is not perfect, but he is diligent in seeking the things of God. So today, I honor him.... And I offer a challenge to the men who read this: Strive to be men defined by the Word of God, not men defined by the world.

Just wondering if anyone actually reads this. I'm sure you have something to say about the hodge-podge of interesting or slightly interesting subjects I post about. So let me know!! (I feel like I'm writing to the nameless/faceless void!)

As I drove home today, I looked up and glanced at the trees. Imagine my surprise--the trees are bare! Bare as winter trees! Gray and brown and ugly!! I knew that the caterpillar epidemic was bad, but I didn't realize it was this bad. How dare those wretched insects destroy my beautiful trees! Summer is the best-loved time of year for me, and they are wreaking havoc on my sanctuary! Can I curse them? Tonight I was pronouncing dark judgments on them and The Little Bro rebuked me, "That's not very Christian." My reply, "I don't have to be Christian to caterpillars!" (Yes, we're joking---mostly).

The youth can always be counted on for laughs. Sometimes they distract me even when I'm preaching/teaching/sharing the Word. Like last night, I was talking about the Lord's Prayer. My question was, "Does anybody know what 'hallowed' means?" The Always Witty Kid says, "Oh, that's when something has nothing in the middle!" Ummm, no, pretty sure that's 'hollow!' :) I choked with laughter over that one.

I read a disturbing article about the role of women in Sweden today. The article extolled the glories of feminism, and the wonders of a country where children are trained from kindergarten upward that there is no set gender roles. Women may do what they please! Men are just as likely to stay home with the children! Oh, the joy! (please note sarcasm). And then this article wondered that (strangely enough) men rarely hold doors for women or help a woman struggling with something heavy. And why should they?? Ah, but that's what the culture has trained people to accept. I'd say the most disturbing quote from this article was a young woman's defense of her equal womanliness and independence, "I love makeup. I wear pink. I have an obsession with handbags!" Makeup and handbags? Not only has feminism crippled men in Sweden, the whole society has lost sight of true womanhood. And the Church as a whole is losing sight as well. Where in Proverbs 31 did it ever mention makeup and handbags? No, true femininity is not defined by a woman's clothes, but rather, how she clothes her household. A woman is a care-giver. When she loses the focus of others, she has lost her virtuousity.

When a woman is walking in her God-given role, her husband will praise her and her children will bless her. There's no need for her to play-up her supposed virtues. It's not the clothes that make a woman, nor the makeup, nor the job, or anything else... but it is her works that praise her at the gates. (Prov. 31:31). Godly women just have fruit!

What a fellowship, what a joy divine,
Leaning on the everlasting arms;
What a blessedness, what a peace is mine,
Leaning on the everlasting arms.

O how sweet to walk in this pilgrim way,
Leaning on the everlasting arms;
O how bright the path grows from day to day,
Leaning on the everlasting arms.

What have I to dread, what have I to fear,
Leaning on the everlasting arms;
I have blessed peace with my Lord so near,
Leaning on the everlasting arms.

Leaning, leaning, safe and secure from all alarms;
Leaning, leaning, leaning on the everlasting arms.

I am leaning on Jesus. Who else can keep me, help me, hold me, shelter me and give me peace that passes all understanding? I cried out to Him and He answered me, and delivered me from all my troubles.

And I knew the youth guys used my office for their meeting, when I found a poor little plastic duck suspended in mid-air over the desk, suffocated by tape and strangled by paper clips...

Murderous? Yes. But totally hilarious! :)

Back from a whirlwind trip to (northern) Virginia to see a young friend graduate from high school. I like the word "whirlwind." I use it alot. Maybe because everything I do seems to be in the speed of a whirlwind? Hmmm. As they say, "time is a precious commodity." Anyway, The Little Bro and I were down there by 7:00 pm on Friday night and back by 6:00 pm Saturday night. It was good times... had encouraging conversation with friends, almost no conversation with other friends (bummer!), rejoiced with another friend and sadly said farewell again.

I came back meditating on a quote that one of the graduates mentioned in their speech.
"This is a straight and narrow path, and we're not making it one inch wider for you."
And I've been exhorting people with it since then. Youth. Adults. Myself!!.... because I was challenged to continue to uphold the standard of the Gospel. Living for Christ is about giving all, surrendering our entire lives to the King, submitting our will to the Master. Because this is HIS way, there is also no room for compromise. There is no room for making excuses or justifying the sin of myself or others. You don't get to choose your own path to Christ! It's give all or go to hell.

Don't think I take this lightly. I cannot throw the word "hell" around. It hurts me to even think of the excruciating, crushing tortures of hell. How many nights am I tormented by the thoughts of my friends, my family, those I love who do not choose to follow Christ? The most painful are those who have known redemption, the presence of God and all His goodness, and still turned away. How is it possible to love Him and leave Him? This I do not know. If my heart is broken, and I am made in His image, I cannot fathom the sadness that He feels over even one lost sheep. Now I understand so much more the parable of the lost sheep. The Shepherd will leave those 99 safe sheep and go seeking the lost one. What lovingkindness! What mercy! The Shepherd has gone to seek a sheep who willingly turned from Him, who ran to find some greener grass, who deserted the safety of the fold. He loved, He sought after and He found....

"The Lord is my Shepherd;
I shall not want."
Psalm 23:1

Last weekend, as per tradition, the Family + the Family Friends went away to "God's Country." We share a cabin in the mountains of the Pennsylvania Wilds with several other families, and may go at our leisure (and whenever it is not already occupied). The tradition is that we always go away for the weekend of The Dad's birthday. Why? Cause he likes the mountains and being able to get away with the family is a perfect birthday gift in itself. Methinks he really just likes having fires in a different venue. :)

I like the cabin. ALOT.

Here are my reasons:

• No phone and no cell phone reception.
• No TV/other electronic distractions.
• A tin roof. Very peaceful when it rains.
• A screened porch, with old chairs. Perfect for reading in the morning.
• A creek that runs by it. Deep enough to jump in, fish in, wade in or wash your hair in. :)
• The cable bridge. (Okay, so I actually despise the thing, but I thought I'd vent a little bit. I'm scared of heights and that thing reminds me of a high ropes course. Don't hate. Just think of it as my Achilles' heel.)
• The pretty waterfall just a short hike away. 1 hour by walking path, 2 hours by creek bed.
• Wildlife. Deer, bears, snakes and an odd little orange salamander that I wanted to keep.
• An everlasting campfire. And the new swing to sit by it.
• The small, but sufficient lake within driving distance.
• The amazing view from the lookout. One day I'm gonna go there for sunrise.
• The funny little town nearby that I've never been to. They say there's ice cream.
• The mountain that I have yet to climb. I'm pretty sure The Sis & The Bro-in-law's initials are carved in a tree somewhere up there, and I'm gonna find them! Haha

Wanna get away and think? Go to the cabin. Wanna get away and rest? Go to the cabin. Wanna get away and avoid people? Go to the cabin (or just take people you like! Haha).

A brilliant idea was formed on Saturday morning as we walked in the creek. Why don't we just bring the whole youth group for the summer getaway? It'd be like a retreat, only longer! Just rustic enough to make people uncomfortable, but just modern enough to make cooking easier for the leaders. :) The cabin, more formally known as "Hammersly Haven," is a place where meaningless distractions are pushed aside and there is actually time to rest, talk with people, be alone with God and think. And there's time for healthy amusements that challenge the body and feed the soul! *Sigh* I'm getting happy just thinking about it.

Fellowship and Spiritual Food. That's the purpose of the Great Summer Getaway. It's gonna be awesome.

May 26th was a wonderful day. Not only did The Little Bro "kill" as Mr. Bingley, I had time to chill and walk around downtown. And I found a lovely secondhand bookstore, in which I bought several lovely new books! (can you tell that I like the word "lovely?" haha) Anyway, one of the books I bought was The Complete Poems of Elizabeth Barrett Browning. *sigh*. A few nights ago, I read this poem. It's very long, but worth it... at least to me. My heart was encouraged in the Lord!


De Profundis
Elizabeth Barrett Browning

I.
The face, which, duly as the sun,
Rose up for me with life begun,
To mark all bright hours of the day
With hourly love, is dimmed away—
And yet my days go on, go on.

II.
The tongue which, like a stream, could run
Smooth music from the roughest stone,
And every morning with ' Good day'
Make each day good, is hushed away,
And yet my days go on, go on.

III.
The heart which, like a staff, was one
For mine to lean and rest upon,
The strongest on the longest day
With steadfast love, is caught away.
And yet my days go on, go on.

IV.
And cold before my summer's done,
And deaf in Nature's general tune,
And fallen too low for special fear,
And here, with hope no longer here,
While the tears drop, my days go on.

V.
The world goes whispering to its own,
‘This anguish pierces to the bone;’
And tender friends go sighing round,
‘What love can ever cure this wound ?'
My days go on, my days go on.

VI.
The past rolls forward on the sun
And makes all night. O dreams begun,
Not to be ended! Ended bliss,
And life that will not end in this!
My days go on, my days go on.

VII.
Breath freezes on my lips to moan:
As one alone, once not alone,
I sit and knock at Nature's door,
Heart-bare, heart-hungry, very poor,
Whose desolated days go on.

VIII.
I knock and cry, —Undone, undone!
Is there no help, no comfort, —none?
No gleaning in the wide wheat plains
Where others drive their loaded wains?
My vacant days go on, go on.

IX.
This Nature, though the snows be down,
Thinks kindly of the bird of June:
The little red hip on the tree
Is ripe for such. What is for me,
Whose days so winterly go on?

X.
No bird am I, to sing in June,
And dare not ask an equal boon.
Good nests and berries red are Nature's
To give away to better creatures,
—And yet my days go on, go on.

XI.
I ask less kindness to be done,
—Only to loose these pilgrim shoon,
(Too early worn and grimed) with sweet
Cool deadly touch to these tired feet.
Till days go out which now go on.

XII.
Only to lift the turf unmown
From off the earth where it has grown,
Some cubit-space, and say ‘Behold,
Creep in, poor Heart, beneath that fold,
Forgetting how the days go on.’

XIII.
What harm would that do? Green anon
The sward would quicken, overshone
By skies as blue; and crickets might
Have leave to chirp there day and night
While my new rest went on, went on.

XIV.
From gracious Nature have I won
Such liberal bounty? may I run
So, lizard-like, within her side,
And there be safe, who now am tried
By days that painfully go on?

XV.
—A Voice reproves me thereupon,
More sweet than Nature's when the drone
Of bees is sweetest, and more deep
Than when the rivers overleap
The shuddering pines, and thunder on.

XVI.
God's Voice, not Nature's! Night and noon
He sits upon the great white throne
And listens for the creatures' praise.
What babble we of days and days?
The Day-spring He, whose days go on.

XVII.
He reigns above, He reigns alone;
Systems burn out and have his throne;
Fair mists of seraphs melt and fall
Around Him, changeless amid all,
Ancient of Days, whose days go on.

XVIII.
He reigns below, He reigns alone,
And, having life in love forgone
Beneath the crown of sovran thorns,
He reigns the Jealous God. Who mourns
Or rules with Him, while days go on?

XIX.
By anguish which made pale the sun,
I hear Him charge his saints that none
Among his creatures anywhere
Blaspheme against Him with despair,
However darkly days go on.

XX.
Take from my head the thorn-wreath brown!
No mortal grief deserves that crown.
O supreme Love, chief misery,
The sharp regalia are for Thee
Whose days eternally go on!

XXI.
For us, —whatever's undergone,
Thou knowest, willest what is done,
Grief may be joy misunderstood;
Only the Good discerns the good.
I trust Thee while my days go on.

XXII.
Whatever's lost, it first was won;
We will not struggle nor impugn.
Perhaps the cup was broken here,
That Heaven's new wine might show more clear.
I praise Thee while my days go on.

XXIII.
I praise Thee while my days go on;
I love Thee while my days go on:
Through dark and dearth, through fire and frost,
With emptied arms and treasure lost,
I thank Thee while my days go on.

XXIV.
And having in thy life-depth thrown
Being and suffering (which are one),
As a child drops his pebble small
Down some deep well, and hears it fall
Smiling—so I. THY DAYS GO ON.

Okay, now that I'm posting it on the Internet, this info isn't top-secret anymore. But that's assuming that anybody actually reads this blog. :) Anyway, plans have finally come together for The Youth Group's Great Summer Getaway...

announcing:

4 days/4 nights in "God's Country"

If you are in The Youth Group and you can tell me where we're going, without asking anyone related to me, I just might give you a prize on Wednesday. Haha. Cheers!

Last night was the first Sunday-night home prayer meeting that we've had in a loooong time... and I was so happy about it!! As I looked around the circle, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry or pray harder. (I just prayed harder) Prayer was fervent, white-hot, positively vibrant with the life of God!

How can mere words describe spiritual things? The Scriptures speak eloquently because they are the words of God. But my words fall short in telling of His glory.

"The effective, fervent prayer of the righteous man avails much." James 5:16
I am holding to His promise that He remains faithful to His own Word. That He will perform His Word. That He will soften hearts of stone. That He will accomplish that which seems impossible to me. That He will strengthen the weak. That He will uphold the stumbling. That He will grace those with only inability. That He will glorify Himself!

It's not official yet. There are three more weeks until the calendar agrees with me, but I'm sure that summer is here.

Why do I think it's summer?
It is HOT. Yesterday it was 89 degrees. And humid. There is RAIN. Not just any rain. Not the cool spring rain, but the true summer thunderstorm. Preceded by random forked lightning in a gray-and-white sky and the distinct, overpowering smell of rain in the air. There was a brief downpour, and then the rest of the evening was filled with ominous rumblings of thunder. Well, ominous to some people. I was happy to fall asleep to the rolling thunder. :)

Yes, summer is here.
I know it because the college students are gone. One of the beauties of living in a college town is that the population suddenly diminishes on the day finals are over. All of the sudden, the streets are empty! The restaurants are empty! The stores are empty! In the morning, during my drive to work, I drive straight through town--just to gloat over the fact that the only pedestrians I see are the occasional street cleaner or meter maid. And I am the lone runner on the track in the IM building. Oh yeah!!... but then, the summer campers arrive. Like the 25 tennis players doing drills in the IM building. I would run a lap and wonder, "is that red-headed kid the red-headed girl's brother? They look related. Hmmmm." It's food for thought anyway. :)

Summer is my favorite time of year.
But my definition of summer; the time when plants are so green that the world seems almost technicolor... Surreal summer... what I think heaven will look like.