I love the poems of Amy Carmichael. Sometimes the words are beyond my understanding, and sometimes I wish that I had written the words myself.

Not only love but also loneliness-
Yea, even so.
What though the nearest may not ever know
All that in this must be,
That being a secret between Thee and me,
Thou knowest. And it cannot work me ill,
Being Thy will;
And by and by
Thou wilt satisfy.

But unknown years stand up and stare at me.
The sun beats hot;
I look around for shelter, find it not.
Companion me;
Be shelter, Lord, to me!
O let Thy shadow be
As the cool starlit night-in noonday-unto me.

A.k.a. Weekend in Review

I tried to rest. Really! I was trying to get rid of the stupid cold that has taken over my head and throat for the last few days. But life goes on... whether I am sick or not. Friday. Photography of The Sparkly Girl in the coooold. What a trooper she was. Making hot beef stew and biscuits to take the chill out of our bones. My parents came over for a moment, and ended up staying to watch a fascinating movie for the evening. While I edited photos and joked with The Mom for her incessant sniffling 'cuz the movie was sad. Saturday. No voice. I squeaked and squawked. Hehe. Running errands, laundry, a nap or two, getting the cable working, using the dishwasher for the 1st time!... Sadly, we had to cancel the afternoon photo shoot because of rain. Next week! The Little Bro, The Mom and The Butterfly Girl roomie were there for supper (stromboli, woohoo!) and then the Penn State/Ohio State game. Conveniently, I was multi-tasking with the laptop, which kept me from yelling at the TV very often. PSU won though. 9-and-0, baby! Sunday. Lip-synching worship, cause my voice was still weird. Last week of Pastor Appreciation Month, so the youth group gave me a gift 'n' a funny card! :) A nap. If there was theme in this blog entry, it would be sleep. Anyway, new Sunday night tradition: Walk with the roomie through my lovely little town and watching a movie. Okay, only partially watching a movie. But we did sing along with our favorite songs. "Tale as old as time.. Song as old as rhyme.. Beauty and the Beast..." *smile *

What a week. What a long, arduous, difficult week. Internal and external turmoil. Slight affliction. Sickness in body. Struggle of soul. Financial woes. Decisions and hardship. And in the midst of it all, the Word gave several reminders to me.

"May the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the steadfastness of Christ."
2 Thessalonians 3:5

The Lord may not direct me into a comfortable or blissful existence. He may not lead me always to green pastures--sometimes I walk in the valley. But He always directs my heart to loving Him fully and being overcome with His faithfulness towards me.

"Now may the Lord of peace Himself continually grant you peace in every circumstance..."
2 Thessalonians 3:16

In every circumstance. My mind goes wild with the practical ramifications of this verse. In EVERY single circumstance, the Lord will grant me peace. How amazing.

“… For man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7

If I could only count the number of times that someone has used this verse to justify their actions. People like to focus on the last part of this verse. “The Lord sees my heart! He knows what my intention is! I have a good heart! I don’t care what people think of me—I only care what God thinks!” This sounds good, for sure, but is it truly the right attitude to have?

Yes, it is true that the Lord looks at our heart.
Yes, it is true that the Lord sees our true motives.

But it is also true that man (or generally, people) look at the outward appearance. The old adage is worryingly accurate: You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

As Christian, we bear a great responsibility. We are not simply responsible to reflect our own individual clothing style, but we are responsible to reflect the character of Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:20 states that “we are ambassadors for Christ.” Just a few verses before that, we learn that we have been given “the ministry of reconciliation.”

Yes, the Lord looks at the heart… but there are people, sinners and saints, who look constantly at our outward appearance. They gain insight of our character by our clothing. For the sake of our Lord, for the sake of the Gospel, for the sake of the eternal destiny of souls... let us continually seek to Lord to be accurate ambassadors for Him in the silent speech of our clothing.

Modesty begins with our attitude towards God.

As we said yesterday, humility is one of the motives for modesty. Humility recognizes the greatness of God and the smallness of me. In the context of modesty, humility seeks that others be attracted to God, rather than attracted to me. It takes humility to purposely avoid clothing that screams “LOOK AT ME!” I know! I go shopping sometimes, too! Besides the obvious worldly bent towards sensuality, it seems that any clothing article has a hidden agenda to get you noticed.

In 1 Timothy 2:9, Paul urges “that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control…”

Here is someone that explains the link between modesty & humility much better than I could. In the words of C.J. Mahaney :

“Modesty means propriety. It means avoiding clothes and and adornment that are extravagant or sexually enticing. Modesty is humility expressed in dress. It’s a desire to serve others, particularly men, by not promoting or provoking sensuality.

"Immodesty, then is much more than wearing a short skirt or low-cut top; it’s the act of drawing undue attention to yourself. It’s pride, on display, by what you wear.

"Self-control is, in a word, restraint. Restraint for the purpose of purity; restraint for the purpose of exalting God and not ourselves. Together, these attitudes of modesty and self-control should be the hallmark of the godly woman’s dress.”

If you ever have studied fashion—even in the most cursory way—you might notice the outrageousness that characterizes the runway shows. I have read articles about how to bring runway fashions into your normal life without looking like a freak. It made me wonder, why didn’t they just design beautiful normal clothes to begin with? Seems like a bit too much effort to me.

My point is though, the fashion world strives for the outrageous, the unique, and most eye-catching clothes. Note the last adjective: Eye-catching. And here lies the heart of the matter.

Modesty isn’t just about avoiding sexually suggestive clothing, though that is part of it. Modesty is also about avoiding clothing that only exists to draw attention to self. Clothing can be so distracting that it is immodest… And have I got a story for you!

My parents have always set standards of modesty in clothing for my sister and I. My mom would gauge the appropriateness of our clothing, and then if my dad didn’t think it was good when we came home-that article of clothing went right back to the store. (That didn’t happen very often though. We usually got it right the first time).

As a teenager, style was pretty important to me. My sister was “preppy,” and I liked to call myself “edgy.” Meaning I loved silver and black and anything that sparkled and shined. I liked to be different.

Anyway, I must’ve been about 18 or 19 when I bought a certain pair of sparkly silver dress pants. You have NEVER seen anything like these pants. They reflected the light blindingly from about a mile away! And me, in my ignorance and immaturity, wore them one Sunday morning when I was leading worship. I remember a twinge of conscience saying “maybe I shouldn’t,” but I quieted myself and wore them anyway.

It wasn’t too long after this when someone came to speak with me with love and concern about my clothes, and especially that particular outfit. And I realized quickly that instead my “fashion sense” being on display before my friends, it was only my sinful pride shown plainly for all to see. While I don’t believe those dress pants would be appropriate in any setting now, they were especially inappropriate in the house of God while I was serving in leading God’s people in worship. What an obvious exhibition of the state of my heart—and my motives.

One of the greatest motives of modesty: Humility.

If there was a theme to my weekend, it would be a blurred sense of exhileration and frenzied activity. And I know the readers are intrigued by that thought... so here we go!


Friday. Out to the mountaintop for supper with the family (steaks on the grill!!), transplanting my herbs into containers for transport, petting and talking to The Dog, packing up musical instruments, watching and/or commenting on Walker, Texas Ranger while chillin' on The Little Bro's new furniture, and the steaming warmth of the hot tub and the bright night sky. Top 3 Things I Miss From Living At Home: The brilliant stars, my dog and my mom's Kitchenaid mixer.... And just when you thought my evening was over... I head for my house. And joy of joys, my roommates were home!!! Both of them! And me! At the same time! Girlie movies and conversation time. :)


Saturday. First order of business: transferring fuel oil from a coworker's oil tank to my own. This was a very interesting ordeal that I don't intend to repeat for, let's say, the next hundred years! After all was said and done, I owned fuel oil, ruined a pair of jeans and smelled like a Texas oil field. Booyah! Welcoming guests for a quick-tour of the newly painted bathroom. It's NOT pink. Really! The color is called "Bermuda Sand." It's supposed to be light brown. But I guess it changes colors with the light... ANYway, The Curious Girl and I were off for a photo shoot. Then back to my house for some hot tea and homemade Chinese food. Then to Walmart for groceries. And finally, The Curious Girl and I go to organize my bedroom. I added to the chaos by bringing home music stuff and 6 more boxes on Friday. We had to haul boxes up to the attic and change furniture around. Try to get a mental picture of me pulling around that massive dresser. It was like a clay pigeon shoot. "Pull!!... okay.. Pull!... okay..." Some of you will not get that connection. It's okay though. Evening spent with ice cream, Bella movie, more hot tea and editing photos.


Sunday. What a glorious day. Church was just awesome. There was this vibrant spiritual life that pulsated through the service. In greater measure than usual. I don't know what was different. Maybe because we had visitors? Maybe because God was doing good things in everyone individually? I was touched during worship, as we sang Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone), just receiving a greater appreciation for the Gospel. Awesome expository preaching. And the youth group rocked their Pastor Appreciation Skit! Then onward to my house for a homemade pizza party. Mass chaos in my kitchen with ten people milling around. The Chatty Girl was eating leftover raw pizza dough (eww!), The Raven-Haired Girl was helping spread the cheese, The City Guy had to run to the grocery store for cookie supplies.. We finally ate lunch and the pizza must've been good because the crowd demolished five huge rectangular pizzas in no time!... And then, semi-surprise visit from VA/NY people. Only a surprise because I got the voicemail right after church--you should've seen me jumping up and down in excitement. House tour and hilarious conversation in the living room. They had to leave too soon, but we loved having them for even a tiny visit!!! A walk through the town at dusk with the roomie. Photos of old buildings. Wishing the cute shops were open. More hot tea. Tea is becoming a theme in this blog entry. :)

I will end this before it becomes boring. Suffice it to say that my weekend was grand.

Here I am, offering excuses on why I didn't write the next Modesty post.

On Thursday night, I stop at Walmart for a few groceries, get home and put muffins in the oven, scrub floor, hold wood while Mom uses power tools, talk to the cable salesman, carry very large bookcase from shed to the roomie's bedroom, fence the compost pile, rake my entire back yard and try not to get depressed that there will be more leaves tomorrow, prime shelves and get my hands covered with primer, make two phone calls to set up portrait photo sessions (eeeeek! exciting!), chop veggies, fry meat and otherwise put together chili for someone, eat supper and have long conversations with the roomie while looking at cooking mags, turn over shelves and prime other side, do dishes, and finally in my room for a little reading, writing music & playing guitar. And then I got up at 5 a.m. this morning to make fresh cornbread to go along with the chili.

Okay, so I'm not really making excuses... more like revelling in the fact that I spent an entire evening doing very homey things and that's just totally awesome!

A quick side-note: I love how my Lord is in every part of my life.. as I sing alone (and nobody hears) while raking leaves, as I think deeply with my hands in hot dishwater, as my roomie and I speak of His amazing power, as I grapple with problems throughout the evening and then am encouraged by someone's blog post, and as the night falls... the cry of my heart turns to melodies. Through the mundane tasks and ordinary troubles of life, God's presence is like air. Always faithful to be there. And I wonder what people do without Him? Without Christ, life is meaningless.

I said that the Modesty Series would return... And here it is! I've been more than a little distracted by the whole house ownership thing, with all my free time going to construction or housework or the various other ministry responsibilities of my life. And since blogging Biblically actually takes serious study, a.k.a. time., this series had to go on a little sabbatical. But it's ba-a-ack! Woot.

The Motives for Modesty

It's easy to become obsessed with the outward manifestations of modesty/immodesty. Those things are obvious. 1 Samuel 16:7 says, "...Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." The Lord is concerned with the root, not just the fruit in our lives. What makes us dress modestly? Or immodestly? What drives our actions? What causes us to make each decision to put on certain clothes?

The first motive-and the greatest-is to please God.

"Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness."
1 Timothy 2:9-10

The Word is very clear. If we claim to be Christians, we must dress modestly. This is an issue of simple obedience. God said it, so we have to do it.

"If you love Me, you will keep My commandments."
John 14:15

More tomorrow as we continue to look at the motives for modesty.
___________________________________________________

Self-Questions:
Is it my intention to please God with how I dress?
When I get dressed, is my primary motive to obey God?
Am I motivated by my love for the Lord? or love of the world?
Do I struggle with obedience in this area? Why?

Empty, We Come
by Amy Carmichael (missionary to India)

O Love of loves, we have no good to bring Thee,
No single good of all our hands have wrought.
No worthy music have we found to sing Thee,
No jeweled word, no quick up-soaring thought.

And yet we come; and when our faith would falter
Show us, O Lord, the quiet place of prayer,
The golden censer and the golden altar,
And the great angel waiting for us there.

Friday. High school football game with the youth group and various campus group people (including The Little Bro, who turned 19 and bought furniture for his apartment all in one day). Walking and picture-taking and joking around and saying "No, you can't play in the parking garage" to the middle school guys. Does anyone else get mental images of youth guys as roadkill with that thought? I know that I do. Disturbing.... Speaking of disturbing, upon entering the darkened church building and going to turn on lights & prep the room like a responsible youth leader, I fell down a couple steps and wrenched my ankle very painfully. And couldn't walk at all. The youth prayed for me and the swelling did not increase anymore! Praise God!... On another note, my injury was fodder for many jokes and nicknames.

Those were simply my harvest of much injury-related teasing of my friends. Like the time I "pushed" my friend off the sidewalk on the eve of her high school graduation. Yes, she was on crutches on the great walk across the stage. What an epic moment. And the many weeks that I used the word "Gimpy" to describe another friend that fell off her front steps and hurt her knee. Yup, I got a harvest. :)



Saturday. THUMP... pause... THUMP... pause... THUMP... pause. That was me coming down the stairs in the morning. Obviously The Golden Girl (roomie) heard my strange noises, because she came down to see what was wrong. Ankle looked weird, but I could actually walk on the heel a bit... so I hobbled around doing housework. Helping The Mom work on the bathroom construction, hanging clothes on the line, etc. Around mid-afternoon, I was flat on my back with an ice pack on the ankle. The Raven-Haired Girl and The Green-Eyed Girl were coming over for a portrait photo shoot, so I was determined to ice as much as was necessary. The photo shoot was LOTS of fun. We scared an investment banking person coming out of the very cool door we were using as a backdrop. I was slightly saddened to find out it was an investment bank. With the semi-Gothic architecture and lighted chandeliers and large rooms inside, I was imagining something much more thrilling! Anyway, there was hot pasta for supper and talking and laughing and looking at photography blogs and watching some good guys vs. terrorists TV together.

Sunday. I sat on a stool to lead worship while playing keyboard. And that's enough whining about pain and injury! Church was wonderful as usual. The Pastor was down preaching in the Southern Bishop's stead, so The Dad preached on "Why & How to Make Godly Decisions." Things I remember are as follows: "Hormones Block Brain Waves" and "Bless Your Heart" (true meaning: You're a moron!" LOL All joking aside though, it was a good solid teaching that was very helpful to me. Sunday afternoon nap and then the first un-official party in my house. Steaming hot tea and freezing-cold banana splits. I could hear voices raised in heated discussion in the dining room, so I would occasionally go to add a little perspective to the younger people's conversation. Was it edifying conversation? I don't know, but it definitely was LOUD! Good times.




PS - My ankle is fine now. Only slight limp. Thanks for asking. :)

I thought maybe my readers of this blog (whoever they are) might be interested in my new blog. I'm an aspiring photographer - or at least I try to be. Here is the link for my new blog:

http://surrealityphotography.blogspot.com/

Enjoy! :)

Sometimes I just gotta share the youth group craziness...

It all started during our youth cell group meeting yesterday. The Sparkly Girl randomly tells me that she will never take me with her to a funeral. I guess she had just remembered that I deal with pain by making jokes. Somehow, jokes and dead people didn't seem like a good combination to her. Sooooo, I said, "This would be me and (The Sparkly Girl) at a funeral. Sitting next to her. I'll say 'Knock knock'. She'll look at me all angry-like. 'Who's there?' I choke on my own laughter 'Just the dead guy in a casket.'" Yes, I did fall over laughing. And couldn't continue the meeting for a good long time. How morbidly unfunny... For those of you wondering, I wouldn't really tell that joke at a funeral. I hope.

Then, after youth group this evening, I am racking my brain and trying to decipher some notes that I had written down. The notebook said, "Jonah." I repeated, "What about Jonah?" several times. The Witty Kid gets all happy--- "Oh, wasn't he the guy that got thrown overboard because he lost a poker game?!" I was actually shocked speechless. The Witty Kid continues, "Nooo, not poker-it was GO FISH!" Oh. My. Goodness.

The Icing on the Cake:
The youth group is working on a certain project that will remain unnamed for the time being. As I'm directing one segment, I (being the smart one inclined towards physical humor) say, "Oh, this should end in a fistfight!" They fake-fight all the time, so no problem-right? Wrong! In that split second, The Crazy Kid winds up to fake-punch his friend. Except the punch connected. HARD. The entire youth group was falling over on the floor in laughter... with exception of the poor friend, who was laid out on the floor from the punch. More in shock, than in pain-thank the Lord! I'm really hoping there's no black eye tomorrow. There will be no stopping the rumors about my church then!

All the senses of home ownership…

*Sniff* Ahhh, yes, methinks there is an acrid odor. Something burning??? Oh yes, it is the plastic lampshade melting onto a hot lightbulb.

Mmmmm. *Licks a spoon* Tasty!! And I couldn’t even say which recipe I loved making most… hearty Spinach Quiche, or bubbling Old-Fashioned Corn Chowder and hot biscuits, or homemade yet quick Tomato Sauce over Fettucini. I’m hungry again!

MMBEPPPRRRRBEEEEEP *Covers ears* The 5:30 a.m. wakeup call. Did I ever mention that there is a working railroad about fifteen feet from my bedroom wall? On the upside, the train doesn’t always come at 5:30 a.m.

Ouch. *Almost drops hot pan of Italian flat bread* There are three oven racks in the oven. Why?? After burning myself twice in two days, I’m taking one rack out.

*Snap* The roomie and I went for a pleasant walk at dusk. And I took the camera to capture the quaintness of Victorian architecture, a deserted yet beautiful park, quiet streets and a little coffee shop that we simply must frequent. My synopsis: “I love (my new town).”

The last ten days are a blur. When I wasn't at the house, I was at work or at church or at Lowe's. Or some other building center.

There was SO much that needed to be done in a short period of time. Praise God for the family of believers that helped me out whenever possible. It seemed like there were at least 10 people there during the evenings and Saturdays. Major thanks go to The Mom who worked at my house almost every waking moment. Not only is she willing, but she is more capable than anyone else I know. She paints and operates power tools! On that note, I have now acquired the skill of "cutting in" while painting. And I'm good at it! I had to be good at it, because of the clean lines that needed to be painted... because we chose beautiful dark, rich paint colors.

Remember this bit of wisdom: in home renovation, nothing good ever follows the words, "The bad news is..." In my case, the bad news was that we needed to replace all the plumbing in the house. Yes, ALL. This was semi-expected because of the nature of the home purchase, but I was hoping against hope. Oh well, life goes on and I go to Lowe's to buy pipe, T's, a sink and a new water heater. Through the next week, plumbing was *the* thorn in my flesh and twice the cause of my tears. And then I decided indoor plumbing was waaaay overrated, and we should go without.... just kidding!! My roomies would leave. Maybe I would, too. It's amazing how cranky one gets when you can't brush your teeth. :)

Some projects we accomplished in the last week...
Priming and painting all the bedrooms: ceilings, trim and walls.
Steam cleaning bedroom carpets.
Cleaning all windows.
Removing bathroom floor.
Priming and painting the living room, dining room, stairway and kitchen.
Removing carpet in living room, stairway and dining room.
(including staples and nails--I didn't do that myself, but I heard it was fun! LOL)
Painting hardwood floor in living room.
Repairing drywall in dining room and ceiling in kitchen.
Replacing carpet in dining room.
Replacing all electrical cover plates.
Sanding and painting kitchen cabinets.

And that's just a taste of what we did. My actual to-do list was 1 1/2 pages long typed. Not including the jobs performed by skilled individuals like my dad and brother, the plumber from my work, and a handyman.


Lessons Learned-How to Love Your Volunteers/aka. Brothers & Sisters in Christ:
1. Feed Them. Remember that "Will Work for Food" motto? It's really true. Subconsciously, your helper-people's enthusiasm will wane until suppertime. After a half-hour of eating, drinking and being merry (just an expression, no alcohol involved), somehow life seems so much brighter and everyone's spirits are revived. A little sustenance goes a long way. :) Pizza and fruit smiles kept us going... until my parents generously gave me a grill as an early housewarming gift! So we grilled!!!
2. Be Ready for Them.
With a specific job for each person, tools, materials and a little perspective ("be careful, but I won't disown you as my friend if you mess up").
3. Work Harder Than Anyone Else.
Y'all are gonna laugh... I wore the same pair of jeans throughout the renovation process. :) And now they are painted every color of the house, with a significant amount of primer, spackle and unidentified cleaning solution layered on there. I think I'm keeping them for a souvenir. Or actually, just to work on every other house project for the next couple years. My jeans are a testimony of the "enthusiasm" with which I worked.
4. Make It Pleasant.
Turn on some music. I liked worship music, esp. Hillsongs United. Make jokes! Not a problem for me or my family or pretty much anyone in the church....We're silly. Whenever the Body of Christ gets together, we have a good time--no matter what we're doing!
5. Be Thankful.
Be genuinely thankful for everyone's contribution of time, effort, cleanliness and the sacrifice of their own leisure. I know that if my friends had not helped, I'd be doing these projects until next year. And my house would not be livable. I am going to write thank-you notes... as soon as I find them! Which box are they packed in?

I don't think it's wrong to ask for help... we're the Body of Christ! We're supposed to bear one another's burdens! I do think it's wrong to depend on others to do the work for you. I am so grateful for the love displayed by my brothers and sisters this week... Helping out, checking in on the progress, being excited for me, mowing my lawn, bringing food or ice, sending encouraging emails, commiserating on challenges, smiling and just being family.

And just in case you think my house is now perfect and beautiful and a haven of peace: there's power tools on my kitchen counter, carpet tack strips on the dining room table and a hole in the bathroom wall (how cool! I can see downstairs!). Hahaha... Don't hate! It's a process! :)