Love: the Change of a Lifetime...12:00 AM
Soon I will be changing the description of this blog...
from "single" young woman of God.. to "married."
And the "Jewels of Truth" still remain, but there happens to be a real jewel on my finger now. *smile* Yes, I'm engaged. To be married.
Oh my gosh!!!
And how did this happen, my Internet-friends? (actually, pretty sure I don't have many Internet readers anymore since this blog went on hiatus many months ago and has been peacefully and quietly existing in cyberspace until now. I'll still write though. Because I have a minute. And I kinda miss this blog).
It seems kind of funny to me. This is *me*, after all. The girl who's been single for years and years. Never been in a relationship. Never been kissed. Had great, grand, staunch standards about guy/girl relationships (and praise God for His grace in this area, because of those standards and how my parents raised me, I have been protected from many mistakes). And yet, the Lord saw fit to blow my mind. To orchestrate a romance that could have no other explanation than His plan for my life. To match me with a man whose personality, character and tendencies complement my own, who both encourages and challenges me, who supports me, brings me stability and has become my best friend.
Yes, this is me... who mused on singleness. Who had countless conversations about how to walk singleness out. Who preached "undistractedly devoted to the Lord." Through the 14 years of my singleness (counting from age 14 when I noticed guys ;), to my current age of 28), there have been seasons of victory and seasons of defeat. There have been times of great struggle, emotional turmoil, pain and intense loneliness. Sometimes I have walked this path well --- being devoted to whatever task the Lord put before me. And sometimes, sadly, I walked this path badly. I was distracted by my lack of romantic love. I longed for something more than I currently had. I was discontent. Even though outwardly, there was always the appearance of strength --- my heart within me cried for something more. I felt weak -- unnoticed -- unloved -- ignored -- unrecognized. I did not lift my eyes to the One who truly fulfilled me, and the One who held my times in His hands.
But yet, throughout the years, I have seen the faithfulness of God in such a great degree. In every time of distraction, He was faithful to point me back to Him. To His presence. His voice was always there, calling me to Himself. His Word was always there, my light in the darkness. Every time I found myself again walking in undistracted devotion, His love was incredible. and I knew... the immeasurable strength of His peace. I learned what it meant to walk with Him. In those 14 years of singleness, I grew in my relationship with Him. I learned to make decisions according to the will of God revealed. From where to go to college, how to serve God in ministry, whether to live alone or with roommates, whether to live with my parents, when to buy a house, what house to buy, how to work, what job to pursue, what ministries to be involved in, how to recognized changing spiritual seasons.... gradually I learned to trust the leading of the Lord. I learned how to hear His voice and what the peace of God was.
And I gotta say, I always kinda wondered how you would know who is the right person to marry. I've heard the love stories throughout the years, of people that I trusted and respected. How they learned and grew in relationships. How the Lord revealed Himself to them, and confirmed His will to them over and over. And I understood it. On a surface level. But I didn't truly understand... because I hadn't experienced this. But in a very common-sense fashion, I figured, the Lord would make sure I didn't miss the boat on this very-very-VERY life decision. :) And I trusted that implicitly. :)
I wonder no more. Now I know.
My God is faithful. So faithful. He patiently guides His sheep into green pastures.
Back to the question, how did this happen?
Get ready for a long ride... because I have never been able to write short blog entries. ;)
Our love story.
Oh yes, our love story.
It is long, yet short.
It is complicated, yet very simple.
It is full of turmoil, yet marked by the peace of God.
It is how the Lord chose to draw two very different people from two different states, two different "worlds" and draw them into a love story they could not have orchestrated on their own.
And it is incredible.