Hey y’all! There’s a baby in there! He’s a-moving and shaking all the time these days. I think it’s the most-fun-thing-ever to watch my belly move! Pregnancy is a really cool and really weird phenomenon (all at the same time). A little human being growing in my belly? So strange. So amazing. So ridiculously awesome.

So I’ll give a little update for the friends & family… we’re finally back at home and it’s wonderful. I have officially launched into “baby preparation” mode. While I still don’t own a scrap of baby clothing (yet), we’ve been gifted with an amazing stroller and car seat so we’re pretty much ready, right? :D Hehe. We did have a fun little interlude of mall walking over the weekend. It was too hot/muggy to walk outside, so we window-shopped by looking at cute little baby clothes. And shoes. Which are adorable, but about .0001% practical (from what I’ve heard) and considering the $25 price tag, I think my children are going barefoot forever. I will be raising pioneer children --- of the hardy variety. :P

Baby Nursery.  I like that my Narnian baby nursery vision is coming together in my head—though not yet in the room. Also, I saw some top-secret baby shower decoration ideas that someone is working on and they just thrilled my soul… not to mention, made everything start to feel so real! I went home and started getting busy with my own list of nursery décor purchases. But first --- we paint the room. Sometime.

Pregnancy Symptoms. Current symptoms include general roundness, heartburn and the inability to get off of my very-low-couch. Poor little thing is a very old secondhand couch, and it can’t help that it is defective and a bit bowed where I usually sit. So I have officially moved my normal reading & laptop writing seat to the living room glider. If only to keep myself from being irritated by the necessity of rolling, turning and grunting to stand up…. In general, my pregnancy is going very well. Measuring right on, keeping the weight in a good range and feeling GREAT. I really cannot complain in the least. :) At least, now that I’ve finished the cleaning extravaganza, I can’t complain. :D

Cravings & Other Deliciousness. You could say that I craved whoopie pies? But really, we were gonna buy them at the farmer’s market last weekend and the absence of a baking vendor distressed me so much that I walked into a pole with my head. It hurt.. but made a funny story for later. I redeemed myself this week by finding, buying and eating whoopie pies (well, one was for Brandon) and therefore mostly forgetting about my walking-into-poles moment… The newest food-related pregnancy phenomenon is the very-small-state of my stomach. I am hungry A LOT, but full very quickly and then frustrated when I can’t finish my delicious food. I know, I know. #firstworldproblems

Thoughts on Times of Transition. I have had a lot more thinking time these days, and more moments to consider the changes going on in my life. This is truly one of my biggest life transitions to date. Going from single to married was huuuuuge, of course, and because of who I married and our joint devotion to the ministry of the home, our marriage is the foundation for the decision for me to be a full-time homemaker. In the three years of our marriage thus far, we were making preparations --- relational, financial, educational, etc. for this season. And so I feel like going from working-full-time to staying home with babies + becoming a full-time homemaker is almost the biggest thing that’s ever happened to me. And quite honestly, one of the best things ever! Side note: Knowing that something will be difficult doesn’t have to diminish the enthusiasm that I have for it. :)

The process of transition is unsettling. People don’t like change. They don’t like it for how weird it feels and how it changes the status quo and how it makes waves in the peaceful pond of their existence. Perhaps I’m feeling a bit more like I’m rowing this boat of change in our lives and I’m having fun feeling the movements and the waves that precipitate the arrival of our wee babe…. so I don’t feel “drowned” (to go along with my metaphor) by the dramatic changes in my lifestyle --- from not working outside the home, to stepping back any church/ministry obligations, to taking over the day-to-day management of our finances, to not really seeing a lot of people because I’m not going to a job, etc. I am stepping into the blessing that someone once eloquently called “the hidden season of motherhood.” It’s something like a great disappearance (though not quite so dramatic as prior to the Internet age --- where I still have a bloggy/facebook/social media presence), and sometimes these kinds of transition can be difficult.

How am I preparing for this hidden season? Lots of reading. Lots of thinking. Lots of meditating about what the Bible says about motherhood/parenting/*gasp* gender roles. I just finished rereading “Dare to Discipline” by Dr. James Dobson. I’m a big fan of that book --- for the balanced approach that he has to discipline. There’s a way to discipline children right and there’s a way to discipline children wrong, and I think children’s souls are far too valuable to get it wrong. (at this moment, my windows are open and the nice breeze is blowing in… but also the sounds of loud-and-obnoxious yelling. The only good thing is that the neighbor folks are yelling at their dogs – not children – but still, it’s no fun to listen to).

I will say that I am feeling profoundly grateful for God’s provision through a hard-working and genius husband who puts priority on this new season of my life. Without his encouragement, protection and complete support, I know that life would be rough. This is why you should a) talk about gender roles before marriage, and b) marry someone who thinks like you do. (that’s for all the single lady readers!! Talking about EVERYTHING during the dating/engagement season is absolutely paramount! The best way to not have conflict about the important stuff is to agree beforehand!).

Because I mean, wow. If I thought marriage was good before… being married and pregnant with the love of my life, it’s pretty darn spectacular.

Today is August 6th, 2014. Three years ago on this day, I made a covenant. I offered sacred, spoken vows. I made promises to love this man more than any other, to stand by him always, ‘til death do us part.

I do not wonder anymore why God established marriage before any other relationship. The progression of creation in Genesis went something like this: land, earth, animals, man… and woman. No crowds, no churches, no spiritual leadership, no mission… just marriage. It all makes sense to me now. God knew what we sometimes forget – that marriage IS how one lives out their Christianity. Marriage can be the fleshing-out of salvation, the obedience to God in action, the love that He gives in abundance --- from a husband to a wife, from a wife to a husband. People like to super-spiritualize things, when in this case, the most practical thing is the most spiritual. Marital love – marital loyalty – marital sacrifice – marital commitment – it is all God’s simple way of letting us live out unselfishness.

I understand the importance, the necessity, the incredible blessing of a man and a woman leaving all others and cleaving to each other. I grasp the multiplication of power – of influence – of good that comes from having that one person always in your corner, always loyal, always encouraging, always holding you up.

I comprehend the sacredness of vows – these marital vows that transcend all other earthly bonds, all other spoken promises. I understand that on a hot August day, when I stood before witnesses, I was renouncing loyalty to every other person on the planet – that I made a choice, a rock-solid unshakeable choice, to throw myself whole-heartedly into the life of another. That no person, no organization, no church, no pastor, no family member, nothing shall ever have the right to stand between my husband and I. That friends may become enemies, and time may be a thief, that busy-ness threatens our relationship, and jobs and careers and responsibilities will attempt to come between us, but without fail – my loyalty is always to him. I know that love must be brutal in its stand against its detractors – that love must be tough – that love is the weapon in a world that desires division. True love, true committed marital love, is fierce in its defense of itself. Love is ultimate loyalty, because that’s what marriage means.

And that’s why we take marriage seriously. We hold to each other completely. And yet… we rejoice in marriage utterly. I cannot even begin to describe the bliss of the last three years of our life together. And don’t get me wrong – our lives are not without difficulty. There are seasons of turmoil, trouble, hardships, hurt, darkness, struggle… and yet, through it all, there is this beautiful marriage. We are building a life together – through the framework of our simple loyalty to Christ and loyalty to each other. We are becoming better, happier, holier, healthier, more loving, more giving, more mature versions of ourselves. That is the glory of marriage.

Perhaps it is not necessarily the institution of marriage that is so wonderful --- but the person to whom one is married to. God did an amazing thing when He orchestrated our love story. I cannot imagine being married to another. While I won’t go on and on about all the exceptional attributes of my husband (I prefer to tell those to him directly), I will say that in one specific instance just a month or so before we started dating, I remember praying through Psalms 1 for him, and in particular, this verse:

“He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, Which yields its fruit in its season And its leaf does not wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers.” Psalm 1:3

God has answered that prayer, and my husband is truly the best person I know. 

So on this day, I’ll turn to the words of a better poet than myself.

To My Dear and Loving Husband
by Anne Bradstreet

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee.
If ever wife was happy in a man,
Compare with me, ye women, if you can.
I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold,
Or all the riches that the East doth hold.
My love is such that rivers cannot quench,
Nor ought but love from thee give recompense.
Thy love is such I can no way repay;
The heavens reward thee manifold, I pray.
Then while we live, in love let’s so persever,
That when we live no more, we may live ever.

The news is out! It’s true. We are expecting a baby come November. It’s super-awesome and super-exciting and all those ridiculous adjectives. And now for the answers to the questions!

How do you feel?  I feel great. There were a couple weeks of feeling icky early on, but I’m pretty sure that my problem was that I wasn’t eating enough calories. Laugh if you will, but prior to pregnancy, I was still trying to lose a few pounds and get in better shape. So I had a little adjusting to do as far as the calorie intake. Also, I’m becoming even more vigilant on the eating/snacking at regular intervals throughout the day and that keeps me pretty happy.

Any weird pregnancy quirks? Well, strangely enough, I currently hate the smell of coffee. I know! It’s crazy! And almost any other strong smell just really bugs me.

I love your baby announcement. Did you get the idea from Pinterest? Haha. NO. I was sitting in bed one morning thinking about how to announce our pregnancy, and that popped into my head and I LOVED IT. Told it to Brandon and he loved it. Then I went to six different stores to find tiny espresso cups that I liked, and finally ended up finding them on clearance at Walmart for $5. Yeaaaah. I have been wanting those little espresso cups for yeeears, so it was the perfect excuse. So I essentially created my own meme by setting up the photo, editing it and adding text. Oh yes, and the background material? It was leftover table runner material from our wedding day. So cute, right? 

Are you going to find out the gender? Yes. I waffled on this for a short time, but honestly, I don’t like color yellow very much and that’s what gender-neutral clothes/nurseries/etc. tend to be. So we’re gonna find out the gender so I can plaster everything in pink or blue (slight overkill maybe/ maybe not).

What do you want? Boy or girl? We want a healthy baby. No gender preference whatsoever. Fo’ real.

Are you gonna tell the baby names? Nope. We’re secretive like that because a) naming our babies only includes two opinions: mine and Brandon’s. And we like to be without everyone else’s opinion until they can’t do anything about it (*insertevillaughhere*), b) our name list is long and want to have the option to change our minds if we want prior to birth, and c) if we’re not waiting to reveal the gender, we want to wait on the name… because surprises are nice sometimes!

Can I touch your belly? NO. Just no. Respect the personal bubble.

Onward to other interesting things….
So that’s the most wonderful-and-delightful news in our world. We are barreling full-speed-ahead towards the end of the semester and into our summer adventure in Arkansas (WOOHOOO!). These are days are full of times of transition. I’m just days away from the end of my full-time-working-outside-the-home career. I’m making jokes about “retirement” and “career changes,” but in all seriousness, this transition has been a long time coming. In one of our first conversations as friends, I remember Brandon asking me about what I wanted to be in life. My honest answer (and no, I wasn’t fishing for a husband---though honesty worked well for me!) was that I wanted to be a wife and mother. I’ve worked full-time since I was 17 years old, graduating from high school early and starting full-time work even before I graduated. I did Bible college on the side, worship and youth ministry on the side and a photography business on the side. I bought a house and went on missions trips and all while keeping my full-time job in accounting. It’s been good, but it has always been temporary. I knew God was eventually gonna take me to home. Not heaven-home. But that the home would be my focus, my ministry, my calling.

Things are getting real around here, and I am so excited that I can hardly contain myself. Though I am also so tired that I can hardly be excited (it’s a difficult paradox). Packing up necessary items for a summer spent in temporary housing and in a far-off place is mind-boggling. I’m contemplating questions like, “can I pack my cast-iron skillet? What about a teapot?”  I am a chronic over-packer and trying to get our life (even only for the summer) in a Toyota Corolla is making my brain hurt. Not like I’ve actually packed anything yet… it’s the thinking/planning/writing out the list part that’s most difficult.

I am a little nostalgic about going away from here, but not sad in the least. Since the door opened to this opportunity, we have both felt a sense of perfect peace. I am thrilled to be living out one of the things that has been on my heart since the beginning of our marriage --- the concept of “I will go where you go.” (Yes, I know that’s a verse from Ruth and it’s not about marriage and I wasn’t using it like that). I’m using it more of a “leave and cleave” concept. Marriage is a lot about leaving. Departing from the familiar, the family, the comfortable, the childhood things… and cleaving to your husband. It’s about leaving one team and making your own team. God designed the covenant of marriage to bring two lives together into one, not meld it into your current existence. Sometimes this means going away. Sometimes it doesn’t. In our case, we’ve spent a wonderful first two and a half years of marriage here, close to my family, entrenched in a life that is familiar to me--- places, people, things… it was all apart of my life before Brandon. In going away---even just for 3 1/2 months---it feels like the newlywed season again, learning to live life with only each other and the Lord to hang onto.
And that’s pretty awesome.

I'm actually writing this blog entry from a hotel room. Brandon was sent on a business trip, and thank the Lord, I get to go along! We both dislike being away from each other overnight---like two years of marriage and never been away overnight. I think it's one of the things dating long-distance does for the relationship. Distance = evil. No distance = wonderful. See? Makes sense, right? Actually, it really doesn't have to makes sense to you. :P I'm not offended... moving on...

We just barely got home from our wonderful week-long vacation in Maine. It was blissful. Beautiful. Relaxing. Exhausting (hiking and biking like champs!). Romantic. Scenic. Amazing.
In a word... Perfect. 

I am so glad we went. It was a bit of a sacrifice. Planning out the vacation. Taking off vacation time that we could've saved for during the school semester. Saving up our money. Getting ready to leave in August, which happens to be one of the busiest months. But we did it and it was good. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of good things, I've been meditating on this verse for the last few days.

"You have given him his heart's desire, and You have not withheld the request of his lips. For You meet him with the blessings of good things..." Psalm 21:3

This is a psalm of David. The non-inspired title on the top of this chapter in my Bible says "Praise for deliverance." We think of deliverance as God bringing us out of catastrophic destruction.... and He does that! But I think sometimes we focus on the horribleness of things that life throws at us, and forget that God meets us with good things.
GOOD things.

My God wants good things for me.
Isn't that what love is? Love doesn't seek its own. Conversely, love seeks good for others.
When God loved me, He delivered me. And daily, He shows His love by meeting me with good things.

I'm not even necessarily talking about material possessions or fireworks or mind-blowing miracles. I'm talking about the little blessings. The tiny bursts of joy when I recognize that God's hand has been working in my life in a certain area for months and I had no idea. I'm talking about experiencing the love of Christ through a friend's helpfulness, thoughtfulness and kindness. I'm talking about.. yes... the beauty of sunsets that takes my breath away, the pressure of my husband's hand on mine, the warmth of a coffee mug on a cold morning, the rush of the ocean as the tide comes in. A child's smile, a soaring eagle, a glittery lake. I'm talking about the little desires of my heart that I never voiced, but somehow God made them happen... And I realize that dreams come true because of an ever-so-loving Father.

I'm talking about the good things we take for granted, or we ignore because we're soooo busy doing stuff. What stuff? Important stuff? Sure, but why can't we get-stuff-done while enjoying the good things that God has given (yup, preaching to myself)? Now you might think this is just my vacation-bliss talking right now, but I don't think so. My good things are not relegated to the one week a year where we happen to take a nap in the middle of the day (though that's pretty awesome!).

God meets me with the blessings of good things. 
I want to see those good things and be thankful for them daily.


Yes, we did a two-year anniversary photo shoot.... with my camera & tripod. Brandon called me "clever." I called myself "paranoid" for spending most of the time hoping the camera didn't fall in the water. 
a) the camera did not fall in the water.
b) then Brandon kissed me and I forgot why I was worried. :P 
c) I love being married to him. 

pc: I'm Kristen

Throughout our dating days, Brandon and I would often joke that romance would find us without even trying. Through the months of dating, we "happened" upon beauty and sunsets and oceans and moments that really did take my breath away. Moments where time stands still and life seems to be suspended for just a minute. Where I am stunned and awed and overwhelmed and thoroughly blessed by the privilege of the experience. Over the weekend, we had another one of those unexpected moments and I'm still thinking about it.




Sometimes God gives good gifts. The experience of watching a glorious sunset over a shimmering river with my husband?
Unplanned.
Unexpected.
Incomparable.

1 Timothy 1:5

We spent our Saturday in the country. It reminded me of everything I love about Pennsylvania, the country, outside air and summertime. It's not technically summertime, but Saturday was the first day of actually feeeling like summer. It was glorious. A little sticky-hot. I like to dress to fit the wedding, but because I don't own cowboy boots, the closest thing I could get was knee-high boots that looked a little country-ish. They made me feel hot. Not hot-like attractive hot (just in case you were wondering), but hot like my feet are sweaty and that makes the rest of me feel sweaty. It made me wishing to return to my greenhouse-first-job days where I would spray off my feet with a hose. Or maybe jump into the little creek by the Spackmans' house. I considered it, for a brief moment. Everybody is glad that I kept myself together. :P

Anyway, I was shooting my first wedding of the year! BOOYAH. I sound excited, but really, I only get excited after the wedding is over. Before the wedding, I am serious. REALLY serious. Like stone-faced serious. This is kinda how it goes:
Night before the wedding: all lenses, cameras, batteries, etc. are put out on the dining room table. Brandon makes jokes about me being a sniper, getting my gear ready and cleaning my 'guns.' "You're a camera assassin! Gonna shoot that wedding dead!"
Morning before the wedding: I put all equipment in its proper place, I'm reviewing the day's timeline and remembering everything important. Somehow, my sense of humor is completely lost on the day of the wedding, especially the first wedding of the year. Brandon makes jokes and I am silent. There is no laughter. My brow is furrowed and I continue my very-serious train of thought about photographing this wedding. Thinking, thinking, thinking.... Brandon knows this so he just smiles at me.
Two hours before the wedding: My typical struggle with the 'hair dilemma.' I attempt an updo. My arms are already tired because putting my own hair in an updo makes my arms hurt. I give up eventually and end up with it all in a topknot. And not a very good one either. *shakingmyhead* But my hair does stay there for the entire day, so that's a victory. :D

WEDDING TIME.

photo credit: Brandon
I love this photo It's so perfect.

That's me. And the guy leaning over to tell me something? That's my little bro, Zeph. He's funny and also probably the coolest 23-year-old that I know and one of my favorite people. We had a good ol' time being at the same wedding. He was the best man, rocking out at helping set up for the wedding (which was at his best friend's family farm), making a man-breakfast of bacon-wrapped steak (that looked GOOD) and in general being fun and handsome at the same time.... Oh yes, and his best man speech was awesome. He was funny (Princess bride humor!), authoritative (calling out the loud folks in the back who wouldn't shut up during the maid of honor's speech) and a loyal & supportive best friend who got a little choked up at the right time. What a man. :)

Here's some official wedding photos, which I already blogged because I have some 2013 photography resolutions that include faster blogging & image delivery turnaround. :D

Anyway, have I mentioned that I think the country is the best place?
Let me ramble on about this family farm. It was BEAUTIFUL. I had only been to the main house a few times + up to the barn to see some lambs, and so Brandon drove me back to the ceremony site... We were both in a little bit of a summertime dream state. "Oooooh, pretty land. Oh, pretty little road. OOOOooooh, those fields are nice. Is that the grandfather on a tractor a few hours before the wedding? LOL Awesome." We both love the countryside, the unpopulated area, the Pennsylvania rolling mountains, little rippling creeks, the breath of coolness in a valley, the soaring views from a ridge, acres of unpopulated land and the stunning difference of air breathed out in the country. We live in a small town while holding onto a house-in-the-country dreams. 

Our Sunday and Monday evenings involved walks through our town. Every time we step outside during these spring days that feel like summer (80 degrees!), the dreams float around our conversations. The misty rain falls as our steps sync. Warm evening light makes golden orbs on the sidewalk as we stare at these Victorian mansions and talk about why they'd be better farther away from the neighbors. We love our space.

Maybe it's because Brandon was raised in northern Virginia and spent most of his growing up years in a condo. Maybe it's because of the dramatic change of culture from fast-paced suburb-on-the-edge-of-city life outside of DC to small town in Pennsylvania. Maybe it's the many hikes of my childhood where my dad taught me to love the wilderness of national parks. Maybe it's my small-town childhood with the big green yard and trees for climbing. Maybe it's the rest we feel every time we head 'up the mountain' to my parents' house.

Maybe it is our hearts finding love in our dating days of walking around small towns. Our dating was almost always outside and we loved it despite the wintertime cold. As the weather turned warm, our love deepened... a ring sparkled on my finger. Warm summer days meant wedding planning with more walks outside.

Life is so much better outside. ;)
I love the country. :)


One more photo... Abbie, maid of honor & friend. Kelsey, sis-in-law and friend. And me. Don't we all look ridiculously happy? It was a wonderful wedding day.

Ephesians 4:32

I wrote this just a few days before I became engaged, as I was seriously considering the comments, opinions and words of people that I respected... but could not respect their perspective.

Not "if" they disagree. "When" they disagree.
Because it will definitely happen. Someone. At least one person or two people, and in all likelihood, many more than just two will disagree with what you are doing, how you are doing whatever you're doing, and the person whom you choose to do this dating-thing with.

Even if you've prayed.
Even if you've done everything "right."
Even if you've sought your parents' wisdom.
Even if you staying in the Word, stayed seeking the face of God.
Even if your heart remained open to the Lord.
Even if you were absolutely, completely, wholeheartedly honest before God.
Even if you're walking in total purity of conscience and practice.
Even if all you wanted was to do the will of God.
People *will* disagree.

People will disagree because they don't like your person. Ya know, that person you are considering for marriage. They don't like him, they don't like his choices, they don't like his character. They don't like his job, his schooling, his spirituality. They don't think he's good enough, attractive enough, and the "right fit" for you. They don't think you'll be a good match. They don't think he'll be a spiritual leader. Blah blah blah (the objections all run together after awhile).

People will disagree because they don't like your method---the way that you are walking out your pursuit of marriage. They don't like what you call it ("dating? courting? intentional pursuit? serious consideration?"). They will think their way is better or more spiritual or more Biblical. They will gauge your story by their own story. They will weigh your experience against their own experience --- and undoubtedly, in their mind, yours will be found wanting. They don't like the timing--that you're too fast or too slow. That you're saying the wrong things at the wrong time, you're doing the wrong things at the wrong time. You should have NOT done this or you should HAVE done that.

People will disagree because they don't know the whole story... and maybe the whole story isn't any of their business.
People will disagree because sometimes they're emotionally driven.
People will disagree because they're bored and have nothing better to do than consider everyone else's lives, instead of looking at their own.
People will disagree because they *do* care about you, and feel the need to express caution-- warranted or unwarranted.
People will disagree because this looks different than what they have seen before.
People will disagree because they don't. like. change. They like things to stay the same. As they were. You used to be single; can't you stay that way forever?
People will disagree because they're human. And humans are sometimes disagreeable.
People will disagree because they're prone to making mistakes... and they genuinely want you to avoid mistakes that they've made.
People will disagree because they think life should be fair. And someone should have treated them better. Like people are treating *you*.
People will disagree because it's easier to make snap judgments & speak, than to pray and leave it in the hands of God.

In the end. It really doesn't matter.
Whether their disagreement is sincere or selfishly motivated.
Whether they have wisdom or simply spiritual words cloaking foolish ideals.
Whether their concerns are wrong, right or some muddled conglomeration.

The real questions are:
Am I right before God?
Has He spoken to me?
Am I sure of His leading?
Am I clear in conscience?
Is my life blameless before Him?

If the answers to those questions are YES, let the people disagree.

*The caveat is that sometimes people disagree because you are wrong. Brandon and I have been the on the receiving end of both reeeeally good and reeeeally bad advice about relationships. We are simply thankful that the Lord brought us to a place where we could hear His voice about the most important decision of our lives and the courage to walk that path. That being said, don't marry an idiot and then say "people will disagree" because I said so. NOT what I'm saying at all. :P