Soon I will be changing the description of this blog...
from "single" young woman of God.. to "married."

And the "Jewels of Truth" still remain, but there happens to be a real jewel on my finger now. *smile* Yes, I'm engaged. To be married.
Oh my gosh!!!

And how did this happen, my Internet-friends? (actually, pretty sure I don't have many Internet readers anymore since this blog went on hiatus many months ago and has been peacefully and quietly existing in cyberspace until now. I'll still write though. Because I have a minute. And I kinda miss this blog).

It seems kind of funny to me. This is *me*, after all. The girl who's been single for years and years. Never been in a relationship. Never been kissed. Had great, grand, staunch standards about guy/girl relationships (and praise God for His grace in this area, because of those standards and how my parents raised me, I have been protected from many mistakes). And yet, the Lord saw fit to blow my mind. To orchestrate a romance that could have no other explanation than His plan for my life. To match me with a man whose personality, character and tendencies complement my own, who both encourages and challenges me, who supports me, brings me stability and has become my best friend.

Yes, this is me... who mused on singleness. Who had countless conversations about how to walk singleness out. Who preached "undistractedly devoted to the Lord." Through the 14 years of my singleness (counting from age 14 when I noticed guys ;), to my current age of 28), there have been seasons of victory and seasons of defeat. There have been times of great struggle, emotional turmoil, pain and intense loneliness. Sometimes I have walked this path well --- being devoted to whatever task the Lord put before me. And sometimes, sadly, I walked this path badly. I was distracted by my lack of romantic love. I longed for something more than I currently had. I was discontent. Even though outwardly, there was always the appearance of strength --- my heart within me cried for something more. I felt weak -- unnoticed -- unloved -- ignored -- unrecognized. I did not lift my eyes to the One who truly fulfilled me, and the One who held my times in His hands.

But yet, throughout the years, I have seen the faithfulness of God in such a great degree. In every time of distraction, He was faithful to point me back to Him. To His presence. His voice was always there, calling me to Himself. His Word was always there, my light in the darkness. Every time I found myself again walking in undistracted devotion, His love was incredible. and I knew... the immeasurable strength of His peace. I learned what it meant to walk with Him. In those 14 years of singleness, I grew in my relationship with Him. I learned to make decisions according to the will of God revealed. From where to go to college, how to serve God in ministry, whether to live alone or with roommates, whether to live with my parents, when to buy a house, what house to buy, how to work, what job to pursue, what ministries to be involved in, how to recognized changing spiritual seasons.... gradually I learned to trust the leading of the Lord. I learned how to hear His voice and what the peace of God was.

And I gotta say, I always kinda wondered how you would know who is the right person to marry. I've heard the love stories throughout the years, of people that I trusted and respected. How they learned and grew in relationships. How the Lord revealed Himself to them, and confirmed His will to them over and over. And I understood it. On a surface level. But I didn't truly understand... because I hadn't experienced this. But in a very common-sense fashion, I figured, the Lord would make sure I didn't miss the boat on this very-very-VERY life decision. :) And I trusted that implicitly. :)

I wonder no more. Now I know.
My God is faithful. So faithful. He patiently guides His sheep into green pastures.

Back to the question, how did this happen?
Get ready for a long ride... because I have never been able to write short blog entries. ;)

Our love story.
Oh yes, our love story.
It is long, yet short.
It is complicated, yet very simple.
It is full of turmoil, yet marked by the peace of God.
It is how the Lord chose to draw two very different people from two different states, two different "worlds" and draw them into a love story they could not have orchestrated on their own.
And it is incredible.

I recently read a blog entry from the Boundless blog that challenged me.
It asked the question,
"What if I'm doing everything "right" and still nothing works?"

And so, I considered my life.. my story:
I did everything right.
I kept myself pure.
I didn't date casually---which meant, because there was no one that I seriously considered--I didn't date at all.
For 28 years of life.

I had deep friendships.
I had interests.
I had possibilities.
I had heartbreak.
I had overwhelming, heart-wrenching pain.
I had dreams that came to the point of "almost" and then disappeared in the blink of an eye.
I had months of not understanding.
I had days of being content and days of wondering if I had missed it. Somehow missed God's plan for me.
I stayed obedient.
I served Christ wholeheartedly in my quiet little church without a marriageable man in sight.
I focused on family, ministry, house, friends, hobbies.
I wrote sad poetry sometimes.
I watched sad movies sometimes.
I journalled incessantly and prayed constantly... consecration prayers.
I vacationed in a tropical paradise.. alone. and stood before the ocean, considering my life and saying "Lord, take all that is within me."

When nothing worked, I kept going.. serving... obeying.. waiting...

And then. Several months ago,
it finally worked.
The curtains were pulled aside, the darkness subsided and I could finally see... that God had been working the whole time. That His plans, though so far above me that I couldn't comprehend them at the time, His plans were perfect. His plans were preparing me for right now. And preparing this man. That I'm dating. That I love. That I am going to marry.

We look back at our lives and the paths that we have taken. All that seemed endlessly painful in our hearts, all these things drew us to Christ and prepared us for one another.

Not that love and marriage is the end-all, catch-all... but I firmly believe that God will work all things together for GOOD to them that love Him. This is His promise!

Love Jesus. Keep on loving Jesus. Keep your eyes on Jesus. Take some good advice, but don't let it make you paranoid. If you're being obedient to Christ in every aspect of your life, don't get stuck second-guessing what more that you could do.

Marriage is not the reward.
Heaven is the reward.

And God's taking care of you, even when you can't see it.

Considering relationships. Considering the Word about relationships. And I have been meditating on a line from a poem I wrote several years ago. (The entire poem can be found here: http://jewelsoftruth.blogspot.com/2008/12/episode-1.html)

"Why must you be in my path,
and not alongside?"

The crux of my thoughts have been this: A man can either be a stumbling block or a stepping stone. A hindrance or a help. A tool of spiritual destruction or an encourager/exhorter.
One who calls you outside of God's will or one who challenges you to follow God's will.

When I was young, my family would go on vacations to various national parks around the US. And one favorite family activity was hiking. I confess, though, I did alot of whining. Often, we would be hiking up a mountain and us kids would go from bouncing off the sides of the trails in excitement to dragging our feet and whining and then just sitting on a log to rest (repeatedly). Finally, my dad would help me out... by putting his hands on my back and pushing me along. Sure, I still had to move my feet, but it's amazing how much less work hiking is when someone else is expending most of the energy... After about 1 minute of this (as long as Dad would willingly push me), I was refreshed and revived and bouncing along the trail again. :)

You are running the race, doing the work of the kingdom, looking towards Jesus... and there's a guy. You can either trip over him or run beside him. I like running beside him. :)