Rainy Day Ruminating1:30 PM
It's a rainy day here in central PA.
The water is dripping down the eves, falling from the sky and soaking my feet. We made an educated decision to have an (indoor) coffee date over lunch instead of a walk in the rain. I wrapped my scarf around my head as we walked to the coffee shop. I looked a little funny or rather, more conservative than I usually do, and I had to laugh as I knew the second glances were assumptions. Really, I just wanted to keep my head dry.
We joked that the rain was God's response to a friend who passed out yesterday because of dehydration. This is for you, Scotty. If you aren't drinking enough water, God will make it rain! :) (glad you're doing better!).
Dark roast coffee. "Two bolds, tall in a grande cup."
This is the way cheap people do coffee dates. Regular coffee. Because all the extra change in our world... goes to the Pennsylvania State University. And our future.
Sitting on the same side of the table... hands intertwined.. sipping slowly and talking softly. Four months of the spring semester have passed. We keep talking about it with a bit of awe left in our voices. "I can't believe it's over." "I can't remember much... except the cheese quesadillas (study breaks) and energy drinks." "It's all a blur." "It's kinda nice to get home while it's still light outside." "I LOVE SLEEEEP!"
One week ago, Brandon had his last final for the semester. We've been spending time catching up on sleep... eight hours of sleep a night never felt so good... and catching up with family and friends that we haven't talked to in four months. It's nice.
Two semesters done in this college journey (together). There are more to go, and we really don't mind. It's hard, but life is hard. It's a challenge, but we don't mind a challenge. I love listening to Brandon talk about his purpose and motivation and drive. There's alot of people out there getting a degree and alot of different reasons for folks to get it done. Money. Success. Affirmation. Fame. Climbing up another rung in the ladder. And some of those things might be good -- let's be real, we all need money to live on. However, these are not the things that drive him. He's driven to do this to fulfill a higher purpose -- to honor God. Someday, there will be little Schwartz babies running around and there will be lots of provision necessary for those little ones. I watched Brandon study for hours every single night, after working a full eight hours already and biking from campus to work. I watched him work without complaining. I watched him hit the Dean's List again, because he's smart but also because he's willing to study. He's willing to go through inconvenience, challenges, little sleep, financial lean times, and so much more.... to honor God by providing for his family.
I had the most vivid dream last weekend. Usually, I don't pay too much attention to dreams (most times it's like, I ate too much pizza and dreamed about aliens?!), but this one I remembered perfectly and its message was clear from the moment I awoke. In the dream, two families... with parents and hordes of little children showed up on a cold day outside the house. We welcomed them in, gave them warm food and worked out who would be staying with whom. We were happy to be hospitable, to welcome people into our small house, overflowing the guest room, the office, the living room because this was a need. The problem was the reasoning that the parents gave for bringing their children into the cold. They said that they had left their homes, their jobs and everything, because God told them to.
The verse that jolted me...even in my dream... was this one:
"But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." 1 Timothy 5:8
God never speaks in a way that conflicts with His Word. Never.
There's something so glamorous and uber-spiritual about leaving all, and we are all called to give our lives to the Master. However, He always requires obedience to His written Word first. And most time the real thing that God is calling you to is unglamorous and normal and simple and small and more mundane.
Like working a full-time job pushing papers.
Like washing dishes and reading a thousand books a day to little ones.
Like studying late into the night to get that degree.
Like doing the job you don't want to, so that you can get the paycheck to provide for your family.
I wanna be okay with the small things, the hard things that don't get recognition, the minutes that turn to hours that turn to days of obeying God where no one is gonna write a book about your life, but your children will rise up and call you blessed.
Side note: thank you to my mom for doing this exact thing for my whole entire life. Happy Mother's Day. I love you.