A Different Perspective on Marriage

I asked my Sis to give her perspective on preparing for marriage. She's 5 1/2 years into this institution of marriage, with a Godly husband and two adorable girlies she's busy training in righteousness. She's an inspiration to me, not because we are blood-related (though that helps!) but because we are of the same spiritual family. She's seeking the same prize as I am: "Well done, good and faithful servant" from our precious Lord.

"One of the most profound things that the Pastor ever said was, "Be faithful in the general call and the specific call of God on your life will take care of itself." This impacted me greatly in the critical decisions I made during the teenage years and early twenties of my life. As teens, many often struggle with where to go to college, what to major in, where to live, who to marry and other such important decisions. Many seek God and wish that there would be a sign from heaven saying, "God says to marry so-and-so!" I venture to say that almost all of us won’t have that. Most of us won’t turn the page and see the name of our college in bold letters either. That was the point of what the Pastor was saying. The general call of God refers to loving Him with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength AND obeying anything that you see in print in the Word of God. To apply it to the topic Amethyst has been discussing lately, our daily business is to seek God to the utmost, desperately, passionately and purposefully and to be doing everything we know to do in the Word of God. People have asked me about HOW to marry a Godly man. People have asked me about all the practical things to do. All I can think of is that it can be summed up in this, "Just seek God and He will lead you in all things." That’s the surefire way to live the will of God! I guarantee it.

Seeking God causes you to turn to His Word for instruction and direction. There’s no greater Instructor that the Word. It’s alive, powerful and active. In It, you will always find plenty of stuff to apply to your life. During those years before marrying my husband and before even thinking about marrying my husband, I became obsessed with Proverbs 31. "Obsessed" often has negative connotations, but you can never be too obsessed with the Word. If you are obsessed, those life-giving words will filter into every detail of your life and that’s totally a good thing! Proverbs 31 became one of my favorite portions of Scripture. I wanted to be that woman. Talk about a challenge to me! There's so much to apply in that chapter alone. Because I became (and am still) obsessed with that Scripture, God worked so much virtue into me in that time. He was faithful to His Word.

Looking back, I wish I had applied it even more practically than I did. There was so much that could have been applied in how I ordered and cared for my apartment, but I was busy with things and I didn’t apply the Word in that area. I’m so thankful that my husband saw past that to myheart and realized what I would become in Christ in that specific area. What I’m saying is practical, I could’ve done a better job doing my dishes, cleaning my bathroom and ordering my finances. My Mom and Dad did a pretty good job preparing me in managing finances and taking care of stuff, but there was more I could have done. Yes, hindsight is 20/20, but I want you to learn from me. Ladies, we need to learn how to cook (and how to cook well – "the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach!"), clean, get up early, keep a household in order and be self-disciplined. If you think it’s just about that, you’ve missed it. What is your heart behind cooking and cleaning and such? Cooking and cleaning have gotten such a bad rep, because of ladies’ rotten attitudes. We are to have that servant’s heart – to serve with the best of our ability in the grace of God, even when no one is watching! God has challenged ladies with Proverbs 31 and with other great passages of Scripture. Remember, those are things that we cannot become without Him. It’s futile and empty pursuits without Him. With Him, His grace is poured out upon us and we can become the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31. Maybe you’re thinking that I’m obsessed with a standard that’s way over our heads. Let’s face it ladies, we are called to be helpmates – to serve our husbands! Perhaps you think it’s dumb for me to talk about that to teenagers and singles, but that’s our call according to the Word of God. Get obsessed with what God (in other words, THE WORD) says we are to be and let God help you become that. We let the world seep into this area. I’m so tired of hearing about spineless, lazy women who say they don’t cook or do wash or other household things. The Bible says that we are the keepers of the home. The Bible says that we help our husbands. The Bible says that we do him good and not evil every day of our lives. The best way to prepare for that God-ordered role is to get obsessed with God’s Word. Make it a part of you. Pray over it. Meditate on it. Let your mindset be formed by it. Obey it! Truly obey It! Obey it to the point of doing those practical things – learning how to cook, clean and care for the household. He will lead you in all those things. Yes, they are service to God! He will form you. He’ll make you ready. He’ll do it… and because He did it, He’ll receive the glory."