The Zing!

Call it what you want. Attraction. The Spark. Chemistry. The Zing! It all comes down to the same thing. That mysterious magnetism between a man and a woman. Even a writer in Proverbs said that he didn’t understand it. Me either. I try not to think about it too much, because my mind just can’t figure it out. Good thing I’m not gonna figure it out--I’m just gonna talk about how to deal with attraction.

Can you “like” someone who is not God’s intention for you?
A resounding YES! This is exactly the reason that the Bible warns us repeatedly to not be unequally yoked. Marrying the wrong person/getting involved in an ungodly relationship are the primary tools the devil will use to help young men and women turn away from God. I’ve been attracted to sinners before. But because, by the grace of God, I never acted upon that impulse, it came to nothing.

Can it be God’s will to marry someone that you are not initially attracted to?
Possibly.

The key is this:
You have to look at your attraction through the filter of the Word and the Spirit. If your feelings line up with God’s will, then by all means, pursue marriage like a man (or woman) afire!! If not, FLEE! Run away real fast! Because the end of an ungodly attraction that is fed and pursued is immorality and spiritual destruction. The main reason that I believe feelings (physical or other) should NOT be your guide is because the Bible doesn’t say so. 1 Corinthians 7:39 gives instruction for a widow, saying that she’s free to marry. The only restriction is that she must marry “in the Lord.” NOT marry “if you’re in love/if you have butterflies/if he makes you melt.” Get the picture?

HOWEVER, I believe that Godliness itself is attractive. I Timothy 2:9-10 says that women should “adorn” (aka. decorate!) themselves with good works and a gentle & quiet spirit, in 1 Tim. 2:9-10 and 1 Peter 3:3, respectively. Psalm 33:1 says that “praise is comely to the righteous.” That means, to a Christian, someone else praising God is really lookin’ good! The world thinks we’re all a little wacky anyway, especially when we sing funny Christian songs, shout in church and dance a little bit. Last time someone despised a servant of the Lord who was worshipping God by dancing, she became childless. Hmmmmm. So I’ll just keep on praising.

Anyway-lest you think I’m anti-feelings… I do believe you should be attracted to the person you marry. I just can’t tell you for sure when that attraction will come. My point through this whole post is that attraction should not be your deciding factor. Cause that person is just gonna be ugly in twenty years anyway. Choose based on character, not hotness.

‘Cause attraction does not equal love.
Love is a choice, a decision, a commitment. With Christians, love for marriage means ‘til death do us part. It means forever. It means sacrifice and servanthood and unselfishness.

As a single Christian girl, I say, "Bring on the Zing!"
And let the fire of the Lord be at the forefront.