Let's Get Specific... On Marriage

This post is for the girls. We're talking a bit more specifically than just basic Christian character. The world likes to talk about "deal-breakers." As in, those weird quirky things that make it impossible for you to continue in the relationship. Most of the time, those are just plain selfishness and not preferring one another in love. But hey, the world is full of sinners. They can't help sinning. For us Christians though, there are no "deal-breakers" in marriage. A deal is a deal. So choose wisely!

We're gonna answer the questions-What should you be looking for in a guy? What kind of qualities will make him a good husband? This is NOT a comprehensive list. It's just a list of some Biblical things to watch for and find the "measure of the man."

1. Faithfulness. Primarily faithfulness to God, but that also manifests in faithfulness to church, faithfulness on the job, faithfulness to friends, etc. James 1:8 says a doubleminded man is "unstable in all his ways." After marriage, you'll need to submit to and live with this man's decisions. If he can't make decisions and stick with them, that will be a major problem. Be observant. Is this guy on time? Does he follow through on his promises? Does he stick with people even in the rough times? Or, is he changeable as the wind? Are his moods unpredictable? If he cannot be faithful in small things, he probably won't be faithful in the covenant of marriage.

2. Unselfishness. If everything has to be *his* way, then he's probably incapable of loving you as Christ loved the church. Have you seen him willfully put aside his own agenda for a day to serve someone else? My dad has a saying, "It's never convenient to help someone." It's always a sacrifice, a crucifixion of the flesh, to love practically.

3. Good provider. Some guys think that all girls are gold-diggers. The truth is, most girls are too desperate for that. :) Just kidding... Seriously though, there is no income cap on what guy is eligible for marriage. But he should have a job! He should be diligently working! I say, "If he doesn't have a job, throw him back! There's better fish in the sea than that sucker!" And having a financial plan or goals and the ability to handle money as a good steward is a definite plus.

4. Good with children. Why? Because someday he'll be the father of your children. Does he enjoy children? Is he gentle and kind? Does he engage their attention? Is he firm in discipline, when necessary?

5. Possessing understanding of Biblical order in the home. This should be understood without saying. But I've heard the strangest things come out of Christian people's mouths, so I'll bring it up anyway. A husband is the head of the home. He is the spiritual leader. A wife is the helpmate to the man. A man and a woman have complementary roles in the home. The man leads, the wife follows. The man decides, the wife submits. The man provides, the wife keeps the home. Marriage is a partnership, yes. It is a team thing, yes. But it's also being yoked together--two oxen can't go somewhere unless somebody calls the shots. And it ain't the wife!

Watch, observe, and stalk-if necessary! KIDDING! You can find out alot about a person by watching them. Remember that you're not looking for perfection. Just the roots of character. These are young men still maturing in the Lord.

I still didn't talk about physical attraction or "liking" someone. It's not very high on the priority list and I'll tell you why tomorrow...