Episode 2

6:45 AM

We're talking about longing for romantic relationships and how we can live in undistracted devotion. Many times in my life, as I've struggled to surrender a desire to the Lord (especially regarding feelings towards a specific guy), I am drawn back to the altar of repentance. The light of God's Word has shone that my life was one of idolatry--exalting myself and my desires before the Lord, or exalting a person before the Lord. Or that I am giving the Lord distracted devotion, rather than what He requires--undistracted devotion. Or that I have acted wrongly towards my guy friends. Or been drawn away from the simplicity of devotion to Christ.

Forgive the prose-ish nature of this poem... I guess that I don't write so well when I'm convicted. And for the record, I never spoke these words to my guy friends. Some discussions are too deep for guy/girl friendships. Better laid as burdens of prayer before the Master. He takes good care of the matters of the heart.

It's all about God
Now I see
It's not about you
Or even my obsessive dreaming.
I'm sorry, my friend
Maybe I've been acting wrongly.
In my attitude and words,
I have been ungodly.
In my pursuit of passion
I forgot that true passion is for God.
In my thoughts of "what might have been"
I ignored the right path of God.
So I am sorry.. really I am.
I'm trying to trust God
And trust in His plan.
I'm trying to pursue God
And not pursue you.
I'm trying to love God
And be a friend to you.
Please forgive me of my complicating mind,
I'll try to ignore it next time.
Because I will be praying and studying and loving and seeking my Lord..
And I know you will be too.

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