MoS: Loneliness

6:43 AM

Musings on Singleness: Loneliness

There was an interview given by Nicole Kidman, a famous actress (and no, I don’t recommend her movies) about her response to winning an Oscar. Surprisingly, at the pinnacle of her career and as the whole world recognized her accomplishments in film, Ms. Kidman did not feel happiness—rather, she felt loneliness. She said, “It felt big. It felt lonely and big. You’re in a hotel and you’re like, okay well, I’m sitting in this big suite with an Oscar, and I still don’t have a life. What is wrong with me?”

Movie stars, the larger-than-life characters and the normal people. We are all the same. We all possess an innate desire for companionship. And affection. And relationship. We don’t simply want to live our lives—we want to share our lives with others.

Being alone. Solitary. Single. It is a scary thing. To face life, in all its mountaintops and valleys, alone is a daunting task. When life hands you a victory, it’s tough to have no one to call but your mom. When life hands you a defeat, it’s difficult to be alone. To cry alone. To pray alone. To stand in faith alone. To just. be. alone.

You know the verse, “One may put a thousand to flight, and two, ten thousand.” When the married folks are encouraged, us singles are feeling kinda gypped. Only a thousand running away? I NEED those ten thousand running today!

Do I sound depressed? Sad? Discouraged?

I would rather say honest. The Christian life is not always happy. It is not always fun. Have you read the book of Psalms? Have you looked past the normal religious phrases and really felt the heart-rending cries of those writers?

“Therefore my spirit is overwhelmed within me. My heart is appalled within me.”
Psalm 143:4

“… For I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged. Bring me out of my distresses.”

Psalm 25:16-17

One great theme of Psalms is deliverance! There is honesty in the songs, and there is worship and there is praise for the Deliverer. Jesus is the Word. His Word always points to Him and what He has done/is doing for us. I may fully recognize the negative feelings (and know that the Bible validates their existence), but I also know that the Lord has provided deliverance from a seemingly futile loneliness. If you are alone, it is for God’s purpose—as painful and harsh as that may sound.

Often, a season of solitude is God’s means of preparing us for ministry. Moses spent 40 years in the wilderness—alone, for the most part. And God spoke to him and commissioned him to do a work of deliverance. Paul spent years out in Arabia, Damascus, Syria and Cilicia, after his conversion, yet still unknown to the church. Jesus walked 40 days in temptation by the devil, with no one to uphold Him except the Father. He spent three years in the company of his disciples, who were friends and yet did not fully grasp the magnitude of His purpose, the weight of His burden or the complexity of His existence. Jesus had to set Himself apart from them for even entire nights spent in prayer alone.

Loneliness forces us to examine ourselves. After stripping away all the other voices screaming for attention and clearing the massive quantities of information, we are left to ourselves. Lonely. And suddenly, the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit resonates in our soul. Often exposing the hidden areas, the painful areas, the sinful areas. The darkened corners of our hearts, the long-ignored character flaws, the “acceptable” sins, the correct actions without the right heart motives…

What to do in this solitary season?
Embrace loneliness. Welcome loneliness as an opportunity to lift your eyes to Jesus. Meet loneliness as a way for you to be sifted and tried and tested. “For You have tried us, O God; You have refined us as silver is refined.” Psalm 66:10… A method for the Lord to make us pure, blameless and spotless before Him. He is clearing away other voices so you can clearly hear His voice in a lonely and deserted place. How convenient. See, sometimes loneliness is a good thing after all.

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