Pursuit of Marriage

6:41 AM

Some people think that I'm unromantic. HA! (The Sis is falling over in laughter--I can tell) Really, I just choose to keep that part of me (mostly) hidden for the present time. Some people have thought that I'm unreasonably strong in the area of relationships, because I don't make my struggles known publicly. Some people have thought that I'm crazy because I don't "put myself out there" or pursue guys or just generally be more outgoing in this area.

I don't pursue guys, because I believe that according to the Word, it is the man's job to FIND a wife. And it is the woman's job to prepare herself in virtuosity and Godliness and to seek to be holy both in body and spirit. The responsibility of pursuit lies with the gentleman. Some say that girls ought to "crackle the leaves" (it's in a book somewhere, though not the Bible)... What that means practically, I'm still trying to figure that out. I prefer honesty, not subtle hints.

Anyway, on to what I was gonna talk about: I think it's odd… or very sad, that we will strive to be led by the Spirit in every other area. Except this one. Here, it must be the voice of the soul! How much heartache would be avoided if only we prayed diligently for God's light upon our path, rather than chasing those mysterious butterflies.

We think, "I LIKE this person--it's God speaking! It's a sign!" Or not. Maybe it's just flesh. Maybe our emotions have been aroused by an opportune moment. Maybe we're looking through those rose-colored glasses of desire, and hoping this person will be the One that God has intended for us. I've been there, people... and know that a rush of feelings does not equal the voice of God.

What IS the voice of God when considering someone for marriage?

Some people have The List that they measure guys/girls against, and it goes something like this. "He has to be taller than me, dark, handsome and Rich!" Or "I like guys with curly hair and brown eyes, athletic and of course, a Christian." C'mon now! It sure sounds like Christ is in the center of that list. (Sarcastic, for those of you who missed it).

I do have a List. Two actually.

The First List (I call these, "Non-Negotiables" for the obvious reason)
1. He must be saved.
2. He must be baptized in the Holy Spirit, with evidence of speaking in tongues.
3. He must be zealous for the things of God, with uncompromising holy convictions.

The Second List. This list is straight out of Psalm 1. A young man is weighed against the attributes outlined in that chapter. Is he blessed? Holy? Separate from the world? Passionate about the things of God? Disciplined in his pursuit of God? Unmoveable in righteousness? Fruitful? Prosperous? Different from the wicked? Intimate with the Lord?

Now I see you all freaking out right about now... "Oh, no wonder she's not married--she has ridiculous expectations!" I may weigh a man against these things, but I don't expect perfection. Because I know I'll be weighed against the Word, as well. Probably against Psalm 1 and Proverbs 31. And undoubtedly, I'll be found wanting. But I will be seeking Godliness. And I want a husband who is seeking Godliness, too. Without that pursuit of God, we have nothing in common.

Notice my lists come from the Word. They are spiritual in nature. They do not have physical requirements or monetary requirements. Listen carefully: The voice of God is found in His Word and by His Spirit. Especially concerning marriage!!!

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