"But I'll get wet!" -The Raven-Haired Girl complaining about rain.
"Run in between the drops!" -Me
"I think God created sports to torment us... and build character." -The Sis during a Penguins game.
"And that's when you accidentally bury it in the ground with only its head out, and then accidentally mow the lawn..." -Random Guy Friend talking about cats.
Later that day... I saw The Sis' cat.. shaved...
"Your cat looks like she got run over by the lawn mower!" -Me
On my Dad's 50th birthday... telling ubiquitous short jokes.
"Dad, ya know how people shrink when they get older? I think you had a head start!" -Me
"Better watch out. My stature is like your inheritance." -The Dad
"Never found gray hairs. Once I found a black hair though. I thought, 'I really AM black!'" -Me
"What? Did yo mama teach you how to play basketball?!!" -The Little Bro trashtalking The City Guy during a basketball game.