We partied hard last weekend. And by “partied hard,” I mean that we stayed home and Brandon studied and I don’t even remember what I did. This is why I should blog more – so that I remember stuff. Actually, did you know that your brain is conditioned to forget things that you take iphone pics of? Yup, it’s true! That’s why your iPhone dying without being backed up is a modern tragedy. Except… now I can’t remember where I read that. (lame)

Moving on. It was our last weekend before finals. The weekend of the first great PA snowstorm! And the weekend of our church Christmas party! AHHHHHHH.

In our church, we have an unspoken {slightly funny} rule. If you make a suggestion, you get to plan it. If you want there to be a Christmas party and nobody else has volunteered to be the general-manager, guess what, kid? You’re it. And by “you’re it,” I mean that “I’m it.” Because I love Christmas parties, it’s the 2nd year in a row that I was the point-person on the church Christmas party. Don’t go and get super-impressed – we go to a small church in a small town. It ain’t no thang. We’re simple folks who aren’t about huge pageants and plays and events and expensive costumes. We basically like Christmas carols and fellowship and the Bible.
The complicating factor of all this is the snowstorm that I was talking about. We watch the weather here and sometimes church is cancelled. I think we’re all a little more wary of the weather since that time when an ice storm hit on Sunday morning and the unfortunate few who were at church early got to slide down the hill in their cars and into oncoming traffic. Including me! It’s only by the grace of God that we didn’t die. It’s a memory that’s burned in our heads and now we’re like, Is church cancelled yet? HOW ‘BOUT NOW?
So yeah, our Sunday morning service was postponed to an afternoon service (giving the roads a chance to clear off) and our church Christmas party would follow. Except our grand scheme of decorating on Saturday afternoon was scrapped as we all stayed tucked in our houses (I wrote out Christmas cards! YES!). But still…. look at those cool decorations! I didn’t do that. That was all Miss Margie ‘s inspiration. She rocks it out when it comes to crafty things.

Note: Wrapping paper makes cheap and awesome table runners. :D
Also, fake snow is my faaaaavorite.
So the Christmas party commenced with carol singing and little children playing the piano and the Sunday School teacher (Miss Bridgette) reading aloud a Christmas book while children looked completely fascinated – I will never fail to be thrilled with the look on children’s faces when someone is reading aloud to them. It’s wonder and awe and joy!! There was a child reading aloud a Christmas prayer, a homily and the reading aloud of the Christmas story.

We ended with singing Christmas carols. It was supposed to be a candlelight service, but last year we discovered that our building’s smoke detectors are sensitive to candlelight and also, they are interconnected. Meaning, you can’t turn them off… So much for ambiance. Our mishaps this year included the wrong wording on one of the transparencies so I sang one thing and the congregation sang another (oops) and then my music fell down in the middle of the last song. I can ‘wing’ it on the piano for a lot of worship songs, but Christmas music requires much concentration and the aid of my chord sheets. Needless to say, we ended a few verses early (though I’m not sure that anyone knew that!).
I was happy as a clam with our simple Christmas service. Also, happy as a clam to carry around little nieces and engage in happy conversation with my friends and family. Fellowship is a precious thing and it’s one of my favorite parts of the Christmas season. I can’t imagine not having a church Christmas party. Christmas always seems to be about family, and it’s nice to take time to celebrate with our family-in-Christ.

My fingers feel like ice cubes. And you might be thinking that I should turn the heat up in my house, but at the time of this writing, I’m actually at Starbucks. Maybe it’s a conspiracy propagated by business giants to subliminally convince people to BUY MORE COFFEE, but it might be simpler than that. Central Pennsylvania is going through a bit of a cold snap and hence, it’s COLD EVERYWHERE.
 
Brrrrrrr. Freeeezing cold.
I’ve been wearing dress pants as much as possible to work, and thinking, “Will anybody really notice that I already wore these black corduroys twice this week? Nawwww.” It’s about self-preservation, y’all. I must be preserved. I must be warm.

It is so interesting to me that something so miniscule and insignificant like being cold can test my character. I’m like, “my nose is cold. waaaaah.” I don’t usually whine out loud, but my thoughts are very whiny when it comes to cold.
 
One of the most profound things that my dad has ever said is this, “There is no such thing as bad weather; just bad clothing choices.” For those of you that haven’t done snow removal as a side job for ten or twenty years (like he did, and me, too), this translates into Preparation is Key! You are miserable --- not because of circumstances --- but because of the lack of preparation for those circumstances. You are miserable, but it’s nobody’s fault but your own.

When I was a homeschooled kid, we would pray together in the morning and sometimes go through the Scriptures about putting on the armor of God. It hit me recently that human response to life’s events are usually misery, complaining and altogether bad character. Dare I say that even my own response to trouble is the most childish complaining.

Here’s the thing: God has given us everything we need to be strong in the midst of storms. Trials come. They should not surprise us. The key is how we prepare for those trials. Are we spiritually healthy? Are we spiritually clothed? Are we spiritually sheltered?
Have we fed on the Bread of Heaven daily? Have we taken up the armor of God? Have we been sheltered under the refuge of the Almighty? Have we walked down the paths of life daily with our Helper & Guide?
Have we lived at the feet of Jesus?
Have we thought on good things?
Have we become spiritually prepared for the storms of soul that will surely, surely come? Trials come and we should not be surprised by them.
 
To sum up, I’m taking the profoundly practical words of my dad and applying them to spiritual things. Put your spiritual clothes on --- your armor – to get ready for the cold when it comes, because it will definitely come.

I am surrounded by a crowd of ridiculously creative people. One friend spends hours making the most amazing felt children’s toys. One friend sends me text messages of her latest Christmas table decoration for our church Christmas party. One friend turned her passion for a Scripture verse in photographic art wall pieces. Then there’s my sister who crafts flower clips for my hair (I'm wearing a bright pink one now) and my mom who dreams up sewing projects and then makes them happen. And the list quite literally could go on and on. I just can’t help it – my friends and family amaze me with their creative gifts.

Photography has been my passion for a few years now, and after this past wedding season, I’m settling into winter hibernation and seriously pondering new ways to express creativity. New seasons demand new inspiration. I’m bouncing around ideas from going back to my original love of landscape photography to dabbling in oil painting to dollar store watercolor on kids construction paper to projects that include glitter, ribbon and hammering nails into empty walls. I'm asking questions like "Why be creative?" "What does it mean to use creativity for the glory of God?" "What should I be doing right now?"

Have you ever noticed the joy that children posses while creating art? Their art doesn’t have to be perfect and it doesn’t have to make everyone else happy and it certainly doesn’t have a clean process, but the end product is the joy in their faces as they create and the smiles on others’ faces when they give their art away.

Can you imagine the joy that God had while creating the heavens and the earth? It was new and wonderful and BIG and glorious. He created it all and looked back and said that this—this heavens and earth—these humans—these animals—these skies and seas—all that ran and flew and walked and skipped and lived and breathed—all this was GOOD.

And that’s the desire of my heart. To create beauty by using the creativity that God has given me (though altogether different in practice than everyone else, but that’s what makes us all so interestingly unique!) to make something… and then look back, knowing that it is good. I'm not sure yet what being artistic will look like for me, but it will be good.

Photos of little nieces doing watercolor art at my table. And yes, that’s Uncle Brandon painting, too. He’s pretty fun like that.

This is going to turn into a bit of a narrative. I have already determined that I’m just gonna go with that. I have confessed my love for topical blog posts, but we’re goin against the flow. I’m currently on my lunch break, munching on the most delicious Italian Meatball Spaghetti Squash casserole. It’s a loose version of this Skinnytaste recipe + my own version of Giada’s Turkey Meatballs + a gifted jar of spaghetti sauce from Brandon’s grandma. Because when we go to Grandma Joyce’s house, we always come back with many, many gifts.

We headed down to West Virgina for a pleasant Thanksgiving Day with Brandon’s grandmother + “Aunt” Linda and Brandon’s brother & his fiancee and their baby girl. Basically, we arrived and I gave out hugs and then swooped little baby Marley Jean into my arms for auntie time. I don’t think I’m as skilled as it looked (they were calling me the ‘baby whisperer)--- poor baby girl was tired from being overly interested in Grandma’s house—but she quickly fell asleep on my lap for a half hour and looked like a little cherub in the process. It was a lovely day filled with the Thanksgiving Day parade, collective dog-mocking during the televised dog show, Nat King Cole, getting in the Christmas spirit, talking and smiling around the table during Thanksgiving dinner and more food than we could handle (including my contribution of homemade apple and pumpkin pies).

Bittersweet family moments like this always sting for a little while. We are supremely grateful for Brandon’s grandmother and for the opportunity to spend time with what family that we can. Brandon’s brother is now based in New York state, just across the Pennsylvania border so we can see them more often. And it was great to catch up via phone with his sister who is residing in the great state of Texas. But there is always the underlying reminder that I have not been blessed with the opportunity to know Brandon’s parents. And Brandon’s twin brother and his family. It hurts most during the holidays, when I remember that there are people that were integral to his growing-up years, to his very identity, and they are shut out from our lives. That there are family traditions happening that we are not apart of – and not by our own desire. It hurts and it takes me a little while to remember what Thanksgiving is, and what I ought to do—simply and genuinely thank God for the blessing of my husband and our beautiful life together… and pray again that God would restore what the enemy has stolen.

For the rest of Thanksgiving break, we hunkered down for a hibernation-vacation. We were supposed to go out of town for a few days --- but the Thanksgiving day travel just wore us out and we ended up staying in, reading books, decorating our Christmas tree and making beautiful memories to the tunes of Nat King Cole.

Now it’s back to the college grind for a couple weeks until Christmas break!

I like traditions. Old ones are great, but making new ones are even better.

This year, my sister and I decided to our Christmas cookie baking together…. because it’s so much more fun that way. Ya know, I’m not sure why we hadn’t thought of this before. We got out our aprons and both managed to buy too many chocolate chips (now I am well-stocked for munching. You don’t know how much I love chocolate chips).

And we baked and baked and baked.

We also dipped everything imaginable in chocolate. Graham crackers? Why not?



We made M&M cookies (with Christmas M&Ms, of course!), gingersnaps, pecan sandies, peanut butter balls, almond thumbprint raspberry cookies, peanut butter blossoms and all the various chocolate dipped concoctions. Then I packed up two huge platters for Brandon’s workplace and my workplace, and am trying to resolve to keep some of those cookies for our Christmas holidays together.

It’s funny how Christmas baking makes you feel all warm & fuzzy inside…

What are your Christmas traditions? Old or new?

  So ya know how sometimes you just feel “off?” A little cranky, a little upset, a little down, but you’re not even exactly sure why. You are upset. You feel like complaining. You are having a bad day, except the bad day just started a few minutes ago. Today, I’m talking about how to UN-crankify yourself. Because there’s no reason to be miserable if you can help it, right?
 
Go back to the beginning. a ‘la The Princess Bride (Vizzini says to go back to beginning!). Moving on from classic movie quotes. When I’m feeling cranky, I have to go back to the first thing that made me feel bad. Sometimes it was the news story I read about children getting hurt or modern-day slavery or political war – in all honesty, a good percentage of my crankyness has to do with negative news coverage. Hence the reason I’m dialing back my media reading. It’s just not worth the effort. Sometimes I’m cranky because of things I see on social media – I worry about friends, their families, their choices. I take on their problems in my head and it makes me wonder--why do so many people put negative things on social media? It’s like they want everyone else to be miserable like them--- which is selfish. Also, a good reason for me to dial back my social media consumption. I have been willingly taking on the burdens of others, and it’s unnecessary. Sometimes I go back to the beginning and I’m worrying about something that happened at work, or if I can schedule an event in my calendar when it should be, or I’m remembering something bad that happened to friends, or I’m just dreading going to Walmart at rush hour (don’t laugh—Walmart always puts me in a bad mood. People are crazy). I have learned that I have to figure out what the source of my frustration is, before I can address it.

Read a Psalm. Or any Scripture, really. I like to go over Psalm 23 in my head. A) because I memorized it as a teenager and it rolls around in my thoughts easily, and B) there are some very simple, profound truths in it.  “The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside still waters; He restores my soul..” Usually, that’s where I stop because wow, that’s enough Truth to kill my bad mood any day. Let’s take a look – The Lord is my shepherd! He’s the one who leads me, protects me, binds up my wounds, holds me, helps me, and ultimately cares for me. What do I have to worry about? I shall not want. His provision is complete. Perfect. He even provides me with joy, when I don’t feel happy. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He takes me to good, lush, beautiful places. He leads me beside still waters. He directs me to a place of peace. He restores my soul. Oh yes, the Lord restores my soul. He puts me back together. He makes me back into a joyful, restful, wonderful state. Because He can do that, and He wants to do that for me.

Go to Bed Early. Here’s a non-spiritual, common-sense solution to most of your problems (slightly facetious over here… and slightly not). Sometimes I am cranky because I didn’t get enough sleep. It’s nice to get stuff done and it’s nice to stay up late and ‘relax,’ but the fact is that without good sleep in the proper quantity, it will just make tomorrow miserable. So do yourself a favor---just go to bed. The sun will come up tomorrow, and your mood will be better.  Workout. Working out releases endorphins. Studies have shown that working out actually makes you happier. Weird, eh? I’m not even telling you to spend three hours in the gym like the meathead gym rat guys --- just go for a walk (fresh air is nice, too!) or do some jumping jacks and pushups or stretch on the living room floor. Just MOVE and you’ll be surprised at how much that movement makes you less cranky than you were before. :)

Do the Exact Thing that You Were Avoiding. A few weeks ago, I sat down and finally dealt with that mountain of unmatched socks that had been taunting me for a good long time. It took me maybe 45 minutes (there were A LOT of socks), but at the end, I felt the most ridiculous sense of relief. It sounds silly, but that task was adding to my daily frustration because every day I would see that laundry basket and felt like an instant failure. Now maybe it’s not socks. Maybe it’s organizing the Tupperware cabinet (that’s on my list) or sending an email that you’ve been avoiding or having a tough conversation or scrubbing the bathtub… just do it. You’ll be glad you did.

Eat Chocolate. Just a Little Bit. What? THIS IS A GREAT PLAN. Eating a little bit of dark chocolate has been proven to improve your mood. It makes me happy anyway (as I crunch on dark chocolate.YUM) . And that’s what this is really about. :P

Live in the Present. My husband says that I like to say “don’t borrow trouble.” I didn’t realize that it had become my mantra until he repeated it back to me. Sometimes we start talking about the future and get to worrying about things that are not in our control and that’s not right. “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself.” It’s the wisdom of the Word (Matthew 6:34). When our thoughts of the future (or the past) become an obsession so that it steals our joy today, we know that our perspective is wrong. I know that we serve a good God, who has directed our paths so perfectly and has already been to our future and continually gives us direction. Worry is futile. It is imperative to kick crankiness out, especially when that crankiness is because of worry, and be focused on living in the present.

Our days are gifts from God – let’s enjoy them. 

A few weekends ago --- or it may be more like a month ago (my, how quickly time passes!), Brandon and I headed up to the cabin for a tiny little getaway. The cabin is also known as Hammersley Heaven. It’s a place that I was introduced to many years ago thanks to my sister marrying a mountain man. It’s a place that we’ve visited with family, with the youth group, with roommates and just with Brandon and I. It seems as if our new favorite cabin tradition is stopping at Avenue 209 in Lockhaven before getting into the wilderness. Because we love espresso. And whipped cream. And seriously, isn’t that tiny little pumpkin just the cutest?

Anyway, we headed up to the cabin and proceed to fight the good fight. Meaning, it was a cold autumn night and we needed to create fire in this rustic place. There’s an old-fashioned coal stove that seems to have a mind of its own. It has a mysterious aura and a desperate need for constant attention and an attitude problem (is it unkind to say that this stove reminded me of a teenager?).
But there was one kind of fire that we knew how to make.

Cup o’ tea, anyone? Tea cures the world’s troubles. And that statement sounded awfully British for the red-blooded American that I am. We won the war and all that patriotism. I can’t help but wish that someone gave me trunks of tea instead of throwing them in a harbor. Seriously, way to make a statement… but wow, what a waste of some delicious beverages.
Back to that silly coalstove. The problem might have been our late-night arrival, or maybe my complete forgetfulness in packing good kindling---so we wondered around in the dark like pitiful pioneers, or maybe we just were in autumn-semester/wedding-season work mode and couldn’t quite get into the cabin mindset (i.e. build a fire and read a book and that’s it).
In the end, you might say that we lost the battle… but not until we accomplished the most important cabin task: MAKING S’MORES.

We had a little adventure the next day, experienced the breathtaking scenery of Pennsylvania autumn. It’s funny how I’m beginning to love the autumn. I used to adore the summer and dread the autumn because it meant summer was over. Now I’m all about loving every single season for its peculiarities. Autumn foliage is a special thing – like the world has been painted with the brush of a Master Painter, and we are just observers who are privileged to live in a vibrant painting.


Oh Pennsylvania, why are you so wonderful?
It was such a short trip to the cabin… only overnight and speckled with fighting with the coal stove, but I love that place too much to stay away long… Until next time, Hammersley Heaven. Oh, you betcha we’re goin’ back. We can’t let the coal stove win! ;)

“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you;” 1 Peter 4:12 The wind blows. Why are we surprised when it comes? The wind blows hardest and fastest and roughest on the mountaintops. It rushes in your ears and smashes your hair into the eyes and whips like a frenzy. It holds you captive for a little while with its power. It is overwhelming and intimidating… and yes, dare we say, surprising.
I feel so small.
I feel like the storm is so big.
I feel like I can’t do enough.
I feel like my fight is in vain.
I feel as if I am ripped apart by the various storms.
I feel as if no one understands.
I feel as if the attacks never stop.
I feel undone.

Then you realize… you can survive the wind. You can be moved by it, but not destroyed by it. You can be changed and formed and created into something better, without being embittered by it.

This post is for you and for me. This is for every friend and every family member and every person that is enduring a crushing trial. It is for you—that your trial has come to a close and now you’re reflecting on the goodness of God. It is for you—who know that the sharp, biting pain came to an end and now you’re living through the dull ache of loss. It is for you—who love those who say they love back and yet feel rejection every single day, and most acutely during the holiday season.
This post is for everyone… because the fact is, every one of us goes through trials every once in awhile. While we feel our own trials the most, everyone else is at times facing something just as difficult. Hard, hard trials. I could make lists of pain that would make you gasp and cry and wonder at their cruelty. Sometimes I feel like my heart is being torn out, that I am still grieving for myself and for others. Trials come. They just happen.

I’m learning something new these days. I’m learning that life is what you make of it.
This isn’t just about living through a trial. This is about living! Truly, really, authentically, vibrantly living.
I’m learning that I can frown at the past or I can smile at the future. That I can choose to wallow in the muddy hole of trial, or I can lift my eyes to the hills from whence cometh my help. I’m learning that perspective is nearly everything – when the perspective involves loving Christ and living in His will.
I’m learning that I can complain or I can live in contentment.
I’m learning that the absence of loved ones does not have to diminish the everyday joy that God gives me. That the path that I’m walking is full of light and life and good things. I cannot ever change people or circumstances – only God can do that – so in the meantime, I will LIVE. I will smile. I will love. I will embrace fiercely the beauty of every new day.

Maybe it's the time-change or maybe it's going to sleep earlier each night. Maybe it's the end of wedding season, and finally getting caught up on household chores. Maybe it's resolving to enjoy every single thing I do, and to be kind when people are not, and to not sweat the small stuff. Maybe it's the increasing awareness of God's presence in my life, and the simple reminders from the Spirit to let the love of God constrain me. Maybe it's just a change in my attitude-a decision to turn my focus away from how much I have to do towards how thankful I am for breath in my lungs and chores to accomplish and family to serve and being saved by Christ. Or maybe it's a combination of all these things.

I feel like I'm coming out of the fog. Out of the fifty-mile-per-hour pace of life and into living peacefully, slowly, reverently. This past weekend was like heaven on earth. And you know what I did? A whole-lotta laundry. I am very, very, VERY thankful for time to do laundry. It's sounds weirder than a three-dollar bill. I'm okay with that.
It was a pure, happy, continual labor at home and I loved it.
I cleaned the bathroom at 8:00 am on Saturday morning.
I trekked up and down the stairs about 40 times, with laundry baskets and without.
I ironed a mountain of clothing.
I read a cookbook. Yup, almost a whole cookbook.
I conquered the dishes begging to be scrubbed.
I hugged my husband as he did the usual 12-hour study Saturday.
I cooked. Slowly. I had promised my husband a dessert this weekend, and I thoroughly enjoyed the process of baking this delectable apple tarte tatin from Eat Drink Live. If you're not as classy as the cookbook I got the recipe from, and have no idea what that is (like me), it's a French upside-down tart. Caramelized apples topped with pastry crust, then baked in the cast iron skillet. Basically, AWESOME. Brandon agrees quite enthusiastically.



So yeah, I have a slight blogging obsession with themes and being chronological. When what I'm writing doesn't fit into the theme--or more practically, the title, sometimes I don't blog. It's sad. I am trying to overcome it, because I love the idea of sharing more of our life on this little space in the Internet, even life that is random and messy and not-quite-chronological. I have summer road trips and autumn photos and adventures and so many things to share. Hold on to your hats, folks, I'm blogging again.
I'm sharing what's on my heart.

{insert passionate spiritual speech here}
I'm gonna talk about buzzwords. I really hate 'em.
Buzzwords. They are everywhere in the Christian world, and consequently, everywhere on the Internet and everywhere in real life.
People looooove to talk about their buzzwords.
Revival! Repentance! Holiness! Healing! Faith! The Gospel! Freedom! Spirit! Evangelism! Discipleship! GRACE (times a million these days)!
Go to a million different Christian "camps" and you'll get a million different buzzwords. They're usually valid Scriptural terms, genuine Christian doctrine and authentic needs in the Church.

HOWEVER.

Ya know what bugs me? Like really-really-REALLY bugs me?
The only buzzword that people don't talk about that much--- Jesus.

It's probably a human thing --- to be fascinated with trends and fads and whatever catches our interest for a month or two. Or whatever we need the most. Or whatever seems the most intriguing at the time. But the truth is -- that current buzzword is not the end-all, catch-all. It is NOT everywhere in Scripture. It is not the answer to everything. Random buzzword is probably not the foundation of our belief system and it is most certainly not the most important thing ever.

I've been there. I might still be there, but the Lord is working on me.
You know what I'm seeing when I open up the Bible lately? The Person of Christ.
You know who I'm enthralled with today? Jesus.

There's something to be said for coming out of the fog of Christian trends and settling down at the feet of Jesus to learn the most important thing -- Him.




Our Sunday evening at-home-date. Slow-cooker butternut squash soup, biscuits and sparkling pomegranate juice. Super romantic because I scrounged around to find those candlesticks. Let's not talk about the fact that I have no candlestick holders so they are in parfait glasses. Candlelight makes even the simplest meal romantic. And instrumental Christmas music, too. :D

It's been a blazing autumn weekend.
The kind of weekend where I have stopped countless times in awe of the fall colors around me.
The kind of weekend that is making me (the passionate summer supporter) into the I-dream-of-fall person.
This autumn is breathtaking. Even with the rain and the wind and the drastic temperature changes. I'm officially a fan.


Friday. The day when we're always super-tired after a long week of school and work. We still have 'lots to do,' but always end up making it an early night because sometimes you just need sleep. The most interesting story about my Friday is I went to spend some time at the piano. I noticed some red smudges on the piano keys and thought it strange. Kept on playing away until a few minutes later when I noticed that the smudged area was growing. Then I looked down and found the source: my bleeding pinkie finger. There was a nice, straight red cut down the finger. I still have no idea where it came from, but two bandaids later, I was good to go!

Current favorite song: Great is Thy Faithfulness


Saturday. Editing, editing, editing. I'm scrambling like mad to finish editing the last weddings of the season, so all my 'free time' is spent with the laptop. The laptop is my friend. I'm looking forward to the season coming, the season of rest! Towards the end of Saturday, Brandon and I headed out to Black Moshannon for an anniversary session for a friend. The weather played nice, after a little bit of worrying on my part. There was some rain spinkles and coooold, but honestly, the rain just made the fall colors all the more beautiful so I certainly can't complain. And I'm SUPER-excited to get to editing that session. :D

Sunday. Church and then more church fellowship. We headed up to 'the mountain' (as my parents' house is affectionately known) for a church potluck. Anybody else not a fan of the word 'potluck?' In my childhood, those were always referred to as "fellowship meals." I have a soft spot for that term, as opposed to something involving lucky pot. :P

I also have a problem that the cute photos I take of my friends and nieces, I just can't seem to be okay with putting them on a public blog. Sorry, everyone, it's your loss because I know some cuter-than-buttons kids! And you will have to suffer through photos of Brandon and I. Because it was a nice fall day, and nice golden light, and I turned the camera from cute kids to my hot husband. He didn't know it was a photo shoot day (Every day is a photo shoot day!).

I am super-happy about that.

It was an abnormal Saturday already. Because my husband has been ill for the past week and a half with a case of shingles, I was photographing a wedding without him. My younger brother came along to play assistant. We were having fun, working hard and laughing hard as we shared the jokes that siblings share--the raised eyebrows and silly comments mixed with the running commentary of personal details that we like to tell each other.

We ate a hurried dinner with other wedding vendors on a deck overlooking corn fields and Pennsylvania mountains. I jumped up to return to the reception tent, because I'm always paranoid that I'm missing something important. Zeph pulled out his cell phone that had been on silent for the past five hours, and hit a button to make a call. I saw the look on his face and knew something was wrong.

Our Uncle Ron went to be with Jesus just a few hours before.
It was completely unexpected.
The shock silenced me and confused me and hurt me all over.

We walked back over to the reception tent as he told me the few details he knew. I was holding on. Two and a half more hours of photography. Two and half more hours to watch people dance, drink and be merry.. while it all seemed so inconsequential and our hearts were hurting with inexpressible pain.

9:00 came not soon enough. Darkness had fallen and I stumbled along the front yard towards my car. I could hardly see my hand in front of my face. Finally, it all becomes real. A reality that I hate.

and so I cried.
Hot tears ran down my face all the way home.
and so I cried.
In my husband's arms... grieving for my aunt who is now a widow.
and so I cried.
In the night's hold, I wept for the daughters whose daddy is not there.
and so I cried.
In the morning when I couldn't answer "how are you?" without a tear.
and so I cried.
when they played "better is one day in Your house" and I know it was true for my uncle who loved Jesus, but it hurts so much for those left behind.
and so I cried.
when our pastor preached about the trials of Job.

and so I cry... clinging to the promise of hope we have in Christ. Crying for comfort like only He can give. Holding to the future where there is no pain or death or struggle.

"He will swallow up death for all time,
And the Lord GOD will wipe tears away from all faces,
And He will remove the reproach of His people from all the earth;
For the LORD has spoken."
Isaiah 25:8

Remember me talking about not stressing out? That being good enough is good?

This is me sharing with you about a baby shower that I hosted for a friend. I LIKED hosting this baby shower alot. It was hard work (as is all hospitality), and time and effort, and alot of planning towards the end of a very busy month for me. But by the grace of God, I did it. I'm not being facetious when I talk about grace in the context of hosting a baby shower. I believe that grace is very real and very practical. Grace is God's power working in me and through me. And when God gives me grace to have 15 ladies in my tiny house without stressing (too much) about details and if I made enough food and if people will like it and if someone will forget and if everything will go well and if the guest of honor will love it... I call it the working of God in my life!

Theme: Sunshine (in case it wasn't obvious enough).
So this shower was in honor of my friend, Jess, and the arrival of baby #3. Now public opinions are divided on whether there should be showers for 2nd, 3rd and beyond babies, and you can probably tell that I'm wholeheartedly in favor of having showers for all babies (read: all expectant mamas). Because I think that ALL babies are precious. And I think that every baby deserves to be celebrated. And no, it's not about the gifts. Though personally, I think it's super-fun to bless others with gifts... and they don't even have to be expensive! Gifts can be handmade and inexpensive and still full of love (and super-appreciated).

I chose the sunshine theme because of how babies seem to spread sunshine around a room. Put almost any person near a baby and they can't help but smile! It's actually quite adorable to watch.
And another reason for the sunshine theme: when I was planning the shower, Jess & her husband were not going to find out the gender (though eventually the secret slipped and we knew that it is a BOY!).

What a better way to keep theme-centric than by having lots of yellow food?!
The Menu:
Taco Dip Trifle (made especially by my sunshiny sis!).
Deviled Eggs (I think it's more spiritual to call them ANGEL EGGS.. hahahaha).
Sunshiny Fruit Pizza
Hello Dolly Bars
Lemon Bars
The Tower of Sunny Cupcakes!
Fizzy Lemonade

Yes, I definitely bought multi-colored straws and only used the yellow ones. :D

The decor was super-simple. A handmade crafted banner to welcome the baby (crafted by my sis). An amazing SUN poof crafted by another friend. I'm not crafty, so I rely on the talents of other people in that area. :D

Did you know that you can put sunshine in a bag? I did it. Lots of little Lemonheads candy for the ladies to take home. :D And Brandon might have eaten all the leftover Lemonheads.

After eating and drinking, we all squeeezed into my tiny living room (you'd have to be there to understand what it feels like to put 15 people into a living room the size of a pocket) and chatted. Since it was a small group of church friends, I eschewed typical baby shower games for simply sharing with one another. We talked about the silly/happy/funny things that kids do to make us smile. And we talked about lessons that God has taught us, encouragement that we've been given and the hope that we have. It was refreshing. Like sunshine in the soul.

Hey look! It's Jess---our guest of honor! Doesn't she look radiant? And she's holding one of the hand-crafted gifts that a friend blessed her with!

I loved hosting Jess' baby shower... and ya know what's even more awesome? Baby Asher was born only one week later. And yes, he's like a ray of sunshine!