Best Food: Christmas Eve’s dinner of Shrimp Linguini… mmmmm. YUM.

Best Musical Moment: Playing Christmas carols at the piano with a little “help” from the girlies. The 3-year-old sang with all her heart. The 1-year-old liked to play random keys. Strangely enough, the songs still sounded good! :)

Most Hilarious Moment: Playing Apples to Apples with the family. I gave a running commentary on which card the ‘judge’ should pick—then somebody said it was cheating *cough*Bro-in-law*cough*—so then I just gave a commentary on everybody else’s cards! And I still won. HA.

Best Caffeinated Moment: Still awake at 2:30 a.m. Friday night, because of too much Mountain Dew and alot of reassuring my mom that Dad and The Little Bro were “fine” – as they battled icy conditions on the mountaintop for 3 ½ hours. They’re so nice—they were busy rescuing other people.

Best Vacation Accomplishment: Cleaning and re-organizing my entire wardrobe. All the girls can understand the significance of this accomplishment.

Best Gift: Haha, yeah right! I couldn’t even decide...

Most Confusing Gift: The totally awesome digital blender that The Little Bro gave me… and never wrote his name on it. For a whole day, I thought my parents gave me the blender! What a revelation. And I finally told him ‘thank-you’!

Most Childish Moment: Using crayons to play Tic-Tac-Toe and Hangman with my mom at a restaurant.

Best Christmas Word: The Pastor’s sermon on Sunday morning. He said it was “Christmas #2,” but it didn’t have anything to do with Christmas. Well, maybe it did. Maybe I just missed the connection… Hmmm. That happens sometimes. :) Anyway, Pastor preached out of Psalm 23 about the Great Shepherd and the characteristics of a follower. Knowledge (of the Shepherd), Humility, Trust and Pursuit.… It was AWESOME!!!

We're talking about longing for romantic relationships and how we can live in undistracted devotion. Many times in my life, as I've struggled to surrender a desire to the Lord (especially regarding feelings towards a specific guy), I am drawn back to the altar of repentance. The light of God's Word has shone that my life was one of idolatry--exalting myself and my desires before the Lord, or exalting a person before the Lord. Or that I am giving the Lord distracted devotion, rather than what He requires--undistracted devotion. Or that I have acted wrongly towards my guy friends. Or been drawn away from the simplicity of devotion to Christ.

Forgive the prose-ish nature of this poem... I guess that I don't write so well when I'm convicted. And for the record, I never spoke these words to my guy friends. Some discussions are too deep for guy/girl friendships. Better laid as burdens of prayer before the Master. He takes good care of the matters of the heart.

It's all about God
Now I see
It's not about you
Or even my obsessive dreaming.
I'm sorry, my friend
Maybe I've been acting wrongly.
In my attitude and words,
I have been ungodly.
In my pursuit of passion
I forgot that true passion is for God.
In my thoughts of "what might have been"
I ignored the right path of God.
So I am sorry.. really I am.
I'm trying to trust God
And trust in His plan.
I'm trying to pursue God
And not pursue you.
I'm trying to love God
And be a friend to you.
Please forgive me of my complicating mind,
I'll try to ignore it next time.
Because I will be praying and studying and loving and seeking my Lord..
And I know you will be too.

Throughout my walk with Christ, surrendering my longing for a guy/relationship/marriage has been one of the greatest struggles of my life. This is undoubtedly why I am so passionate about Biblical "undistracted devotion" as stated in 1 Corinthians 7. Because I know what it feels like to struggle and surrender and then cling again to my soulish desires. Throughout the years, I have had many 'lightbulb moments' in realizing that my soul was wanting what it wanted---not the spirit pursuing the Spirit of God. Each time, I've heard the voice of God calling me, drawing me, demanding my complete consecration. In the moments of my weakness, the Lord has made His strength real to me. When I am alone and content, there is grace. It is the power of Christ in me and nothing else.

Here is a little glimpse into my past journals through these struggles, weaknesses and victories:

I am content
Just to hear the sound of your breath
On the other side of the phone line
I am content
Just to hear you talk
About anything, anything at all
While I laugh and quietly delight in
Every voice tone and inflection,
I think you're completely unaware
Of the effect of you just being there
Then I think...
Maybe it's wrong
Maybe it's deadly
Maybe somehow
This has made me sickly
Maybe the cords of addiction
Are binding me ever slowly
Maybe dreams of your affection
Have consumed me totally.
But it seems good
And it seems right
Since when did I begin
Walking by my sight?
Where is the fine line
Between longing and obsession?
Why is this so undefined
I'm left to my own guessing.
I hunger after righteousness
And seek the things of God.
But why must you be in my path
And not alongside?
You're so striking
In your innocence
While I am struggling,
Trying to make sense of this...

This is Episode 1... Stay tuned for the resolution! :)

Snow changes everything. It changed my plans on Friday night. Snow/freezing rain/ice falling from the sky... so I went grocery shopping on the way home. Then I'm chillin' on my living room couch--working on Christmas presents. My phone rings and it's The Little Bro. He's wondering if I wanna brave the cold and snowy weather to go to the mountaintop. Umm, YEAH!! Before I know it, I'm toasty warm by the wood stove, setting up the ceramic nativity scene (my job for like 10 years now) and defending the rights of my favorite ornaments to reside on the Christmas tree... I might have my own house and (two) my own Christmas trees... but I want everything at "home" to stay the same!! :) I was up early on Saturday morning. The Raven-Haired Girl came to visit my house. We baked cookies for hours and hours, made candy and packaged all the goodies in tiny little boxes for coworkers and platters for neighbors & other special people. In between that edible fun, we managed to make homemade chicken soup and bread, sing along to Christmas music, watch a Christmas movie and wrap some presents!! And then it was off to the annual youth Christmas party!! And what can I say? Those youth people are some of the most hilarious people I have ever met. We played the infamous envelope game (our own invention from last year's party) with a minor modification. This game is a strange variation of musical chairs... with no chairs.. and with people constantly being eliminated. Through the hilarity, we get to learn random facts like who forgot to brush their teeth this morning, who is incapable of winking, etc. The fun increased through a snowman creation contest and the white elephant gift exchange. One jingle-bells-singing gangster penguin was the much-coveted gift. I think 6 people had it... for the record, I ended up with some sparkling grape juice. :) *sigh * So much fun... Again, snow changes everything! I woke up on Sunday morning by some changes to church time. But we still had service!! And a Christmas program! And singing Christmas carols together!! I was privileged to play those carols on the piano.. and I would've been great except I could hear my three-year-old niece belting out the songs and it was so. ridiculously. cute. So I giggled and lost my place. Oops! But it was still a beautiful time!... Remember how I said that "snow changes everything?" I think that's my new signature phrase. And add "ice complicates everything." What an icy weekend. My roomie's car door froze open. Several men had to scrape the whole church parking lot. And my poor car got stuck in my sister's driveway. (I am so glad I am not a man---I pushed the gas pedal. The men pushed the car!). Yeah, gotta love that Northern weather. :) Pleasant evening with the family celebrating my sis' birthday. Rolling up a new yarn ball for crocheting, watching a silent movie, playing with very silly little girlies and talking about football. Good times.

O come, O come, Emmanuel
And ransom captive Israel
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

Like I exhorted the youth people on Saturday night, be careful to remember that Christmas is about Emmanuel--God with us. Continue to seek God's presence throughout these nice days off of school or work. It's easy to neglect the pursuit of God out of busy-ness or laziness. But we must continue to hunger after the Word of God and seek His presence in prayer. God's presence is our greatest delight!

Something caught my interest on Fox News this morning. A woman in an immoral relationship is in the process of church discipline. Obviously, she's not repentant because she decided to take it to the media.

Read about it here: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,469928,00.html
The church's letter: http://www.foxnews.com/projects/pdf/Church_Extortion.pdf

I was so impressed by the church's response to her that I wrote them a letter of encouragement. This world may be obssessed with tolerance and individual lifestyle choices, but the Church has a divine responsibility to live according to the standards set by God. When someone takes a stand for righteousness, I am impressed. So here is the text of my letter to the church:

To Whom It May Concern:
I'm sure you are receiving many comments about your handling of the situation with the former member, Rebecca Hancock. I know nothing about the situation except what I have read on Foxnews.com. Of course, their spin is one of victimization. But when I read the Biblical steps that your congregation has followed (rebuke one-on-one and then taking others along with you) and what steps you intend to take, I am so encouraged. The careful and gracious wording of the letter your leadership sent to Ms. Hancock was truly a witness of the love and regard you have for the Word of God.

Many people are willing to stand aside quietly while their friends fall into sin. Many leaders are more afraid of offending a church member, than of the offense that blatant sin brings to the Lord. However, 1 Cor. 5:11-13 says clearly that we must remove the wicked man from our midst. You have stood for righteousness, and in the end, the Lord will reward your obedience to His Word.

I know personally the grief that leadership feels when someone chooses to forsake the faith. It is not a 'fun' or 'easy' thing to do. But the true heart of a leader does not want the temporary comfort of the sheep, but rather, their eternal salvation. Even the Apostle Paul judged the immoral man so that in the end, he could be saved. (1 Cor. 5:5). The judgment was remedial, rather than punitive. Love is our motivation.

With that in mind, please continue to stand firm. Hold fast to the Word of God--no matter who opposes you. James 5:8, "Stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near."

May the grace of God be with you,
'Amethyst'

There seems to be a song, many songs, on continuous loop in my head throughout the days. Sometimes it’s a little annoying, especially when I’m in a place where singing and humming and whistling are not socially acceptable. Like the office! Or Walmart. And sometimes, I subconsciously revert to the same song 20 times throughout one day—which makes me wanna smack my head against the wall! But at least they are good, Christ-glorifying songs!! There are worse things to have stuck in your head.

Be exalted in the heavens and the earth… O come let us adore Him… MY GOD, He shall do valiantly; It is He who will tread down the enemies… Christmas makes me wanna worship Jesus… There will be a day with no more tears… It was my sin that held Him there,until it was accomplished… Jesus, You are my firm foundation!…

“…Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs.”
James 5:13

Maybe I’ve been watching too many Christmas movies… Okay, I retract. I definitely have been watching too many Christmas movies. It’s like an addiction! The weird movie moments are starting to get in my brain.

Some movie moments from the weekend: Darkness had already fallen. Christmas lights were twinkling in the streets. Snowflakes began to fall as we walked up Main Street. And then, soft music is heard. A brass band was playing on a nearby balcony. Movie moment. Jingle bells are ringing. A horse-drawn carriage clatters by. Movie moment. A children’s choir sings Christmas carols softly on the courthouse steps. Surrounded by a small-town crowd. Listening the speech of an elderly mayor. Movie moment. Twirling a little girl around in the middle of a busy gym. Holding a tiny hand as a little one reaches up to drop coins in a red kettle. Standing transfixed by a beautiful photograph. Daydreaming in a museum about an Underground Railroad station. Breathing in spicy cinnamon and lavender and pine—lovely seasonal scents. Shimmering ornaments and fresh holly and white Christmas lights that remind me of the night sky. Movie moments. An anonymous gift left on my desk at church. I read and smiled. Movie moment. Voices raised in joyful singing, “Hark, the herald angels sing!!…” Movie moment.

And now I will squash all the nostalgic fuzzy feelings that you had from this post. Haha. Just stay with me... I've been considering the common themes of Christmas movies. They're all magical and about love and forgiveness and miracles and things that only happen in Christmastime. Which is fine. But I'm not satisfied with nice feelings for 10 minutes during some perfect moment in a movie. Those feelings don't last. Unless there is peace in the presence of God, my soul will remain in turmoil long after the movie ends. I want to know/feel/experience peace all the time.

The truth is that even if all family relationships are healed and I receive that gifts I want for Christmas and someone proposes to me on Christmas (no, I'm not asking for that... It just seems to be a common movie theme. I'm making a point!), my soul would not be at rest. Only peace with God through Christ is the answer.

It seems that everywhere I go, I hear something about the Twilight book series and subsequent film adaptation. I love books. And you might assume that I would be as entranced by this young adult fiction series as the rest of the world is. But the fact is—I am a Christian. Even (or especially) my book choices are determined by my devotion to Christ. Sometimes the world embraces a new thing, and the Church doesn’t quite know how to handle it. In this exposition, I’d like to shed some Biblical light onto Twilight, and determine how it stands.

For those unfamiliar with the plot of the Twilight book series, here is a brief summary. Bella, a human young girl, falls in love with Edward, a young-looking-but-very-old vampire. He is a “good” vampire, because he only drinks the blood of animals along with the rest of his vampire coven, though they find it difficult to restrain their murderous urges. The series mostly tells the ongoing saga of Edward & Bella’s romance, marriage and ultimately, Bella’s transformation into a vampire.

I've done as much research as possible on this subject without actually reading the novels in their entirety. I did read several excerpts and can empathize with the young girls so obsessed with these novels. I felt the fleshly inclination to the romantic storyline while reading. That scared me, because I also felt a strong spiritual revulsion to the evil represented in those pages. Galations 5:17 says, "For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please."[1] And this perfectly illustrates the battle the books represent in a Christian young women's soul.

My objections to Twilight are as follows, in no particular order.

The Author: Stephanie Meyer, the author of Twilight, is a Mormon and a graduate of Brigham Young University. Mormonism is a cult. Its devotees are highly deceived. They cling to beliefs that are religious in nature, but deny the deity of Christ. Which is heresy. This author may not be writing about Mormonism, but the deception she lives daily is woven throughout the stories. As a Christian who loves Christ—the Lord & God, I want no part in that deception.

The Inspiration: I quote from Stephanie Meyer's website, "I woke up (on that June 2nd) from a very vivid dream. In my dream, two people were having an intense conversation in a meadow in the woods. One of these people was just your average girl. The other person was fantastically beautiful, sparkly, and a vampire."[2] Certainly the Holy Spirit did not inspire the author. Her inspiration came from the flesh or satan himself. Because of the subject matter of the books, I'm inclined to think that these books are demonically inspired.

The Occult Influences: Throughout the first two books in the series, the story focuses on vampires and werewolves in a cursory way. The vampires possess so-called special powers. Edward, the male protagonist, has the power to read minds. I find this troubling because psychic ability has long been coupled with witchcraft and the occult. Vampires are legendary, but throughout history, they are grouped with the 'dark side' of the spiritual realm. By definition, they are “an imaginary demon, which was fabled to suck the blood of persons at night.”[3] The Bible is very clear that God uses angels as ministering spirits to do His will.[4] If there are spiritual beings, but not angels, on the earth--it is safe to assume that they are demons. And even though this series is fictional, as Christians, can we cling to evil in demonic form? We must “abhor what is evil; cling to what is good.”[5]
In the Old Testament, all things witchcraft-related were deemed “detestable to the Lord.”[6] It is reasonable to assume that since God’s character does not change, what He finds detestable does not change either.
And even if readers have found Twilight’s magical qualities innocent in the first few books, justification is threatened towards the end of the series. Twilight’s nice-vampire image has attracted many readers not usually given to the horror/vampire genre. However, in the third book, Twilight makes a swift descent into blood-filled horror fiction. In the fourth book, the "hero" and "heroine" have a half-human/half-vampire child. The author admits this was inspired by her research of the 'incubus,'[7] which is "an imaginary demon or evil spirit supposed to descend upon sleeping persons, esp. one fabled to have sexual intercourse with women during their sleep."[8] How sickening.
One last thought: In the early church, new believers burned their books on magic in public—even though the books were of great monetary value.[9] Should we not have the same opposition to evil, since we are submitted to the same Lord?

The Sexuality: While graphic sex is purposefully avoided, there are many pages devoted to Edward & Bella's lovemaking. Sex, sensuality and physical lust are overwhelming themes—if not THE overwhelming themes—in this series.
Many justify this by pointing out that the couple did not have sex until after marriage. "See! They're promoting abstinence!" All Christians have the responsibility to “honor marriage” and “let the marriage bed be undefiled” according to Hebrews 13:1. Because of these Scriptural commands, I believe that it is wrong to read books with extended descriptions of sex or watch movies in which sex is taking place—marriage or no marriage! Sexual relations are only intended for within the marriage covenant. So unless it's YOUR marriage covenant, you should have nothing to do with it!
Just as pornography creates permanent changes in the brain[10], book themes present data for our brains to turn into mental images. If this data is wrong, our imaginations will quickly fall into sin. Jesus said that thinking lustful thoughts is the same as doing the act.[11] As a single young woman, I fight a battle for purity daily. Even one book with sinful themes is burned in my mind. This is a great reason to be discerning about the information we embrace. We involuntarily think on the themes presented to us. Philippians 4:8 gives clear evidence of the standards God has set for our mind to consumed with. Things that are true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, of good reputation, anything excellent or worthy of praise. With that in mind, I don’t believe that Twilight’s obsession with sex—if they’re gonna do it, when they’re gonna do it and when they finally do it—is spiritually edifying content.

The Perception of Love/Relationships: Brio Magazine (a ministry of Focus on the Family to teen girls), in their review of the Twilight series, highlights the unrealistic expectation of a perfect guy. They say, “[Edward] is the fantasy creation of a woman writer.”[12] This is not one of my most vehement objections, but it is a valid point.
Looking at the Twilight series as a whole, I am more concerned about the principles being fed to young people. Twilight teaches young people, esp. young girls, to be driven by their emotions in relationships. It constantly reinforces the idea the feelings trump everything else. According to this book series, emotions = true love. This is very deceptive. The Bible’s definition of love is sacrificial in nature. Love is a choice. Some may confuse Bella’s emotional sacrifice for Edward with true love, but it is motivated by her feelings. She loves the way he makes her feel, and is even willing to give up her soul (i.e. eternal salvation) to be with him. Her love is selfish, not selfless. And she refuses to recognize any dangers in her relationship, or accept any wisdom from the authority in her life. Which brings me to another point…

The Rebellion Against Authority: Another very harmful principle constantly supplied is the utter disregard for parental authority. The Bible clearly states that children must “obey [their] parents in the Lord, for this is right.”[13] And even going beyond the actions of obedience, children are told to “honor [their] father and mother.”[14] The attitudes must be ones of respect and reverence. Contrary to Biblical teaching, the parents here are ones to be simply tolerated or ignored, at will.

Orson Scott Card, a columnist for secular Time magazine states, "Stephenie Meyer's Twilight does raise some questions, and I've asked them. 'You really want your teenage daughter to live inside the story of a girl who lies to her parents, invites a boy to sleep in her bed and trusts him not to take advantage of her?'"[15]

There are other issues that could be brought to light, such as atheism, blood/gory violence, an allusion to gang rape, various other occult references and some profanities and vulgarities.

Through flowery words and a romantic storyline, the author has entranced millions of readers[16], especially young people. However, when the fluff is stripped away, the philosophies left are hardly praiseworthy. It is evil wrapped up in an innocent-looking package. "For even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light."[17] The enemy is waiting for any open door to bring destruction into the minds of God’s people. It is my belief that Twilight presents a door flung wide open for the working of the devil in our hearts and minds, deadening our spiritual discernment and justifying compromise in the area of media consumption.

Be of sober spirit; be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around
like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
1 Peter 5:8



1 Galations 5:17, NASB
2 http://www.stepheniemeyer.com/twilight.html
3 American Dictionary of the English Language, Noah Webster 1828.
4 Hebrews 1:14, NASB
5 Romans 12:9, NASB
6 Dueteronomy 18:9-13, NASB
7 http://www.stepheniemeyer.com/bd_faq.html
8 Merriam-Webster Dictionary, “incubus” definition 1.
9 Acts 19:19, NASB
10 Speech given by Judith Reisman given at a Science, Technology and Space Hearing: “The Science Behind Pornography Addiction,” Thursday, November 18, 2004. Available on the Web at http://commerce.senate.gov/hearings/testimony.cfm?id=1343&wit_id=3910
11 Matthew 5:28, NASB
12 http://www.briomag.com/briomagazine/entertainment/a0007866.html
13 Ephesians 6:1, NASB
14 Ephesians 6:2, NASB
15http://www.time.com/time/specials/2007/article/0,28804,1733748_1733752_1736282,00.html 16 http://www.reuters.com/article/entertainmentNews/idUSTRE4AK03620081121
17 2 Corinthians 11:14, NASB.

Mary's Heart Breathing---Another look at Mary & Martha:



At Your feet
Bowed on a dusty floor
Simply here
Listening to Your words
My sister scolds
I really should go work
Yet my heart is touched
And I just want more...


O Christ, my Bread of Life
Other things are quickly fading
O Christ, You are mine
Let me continue waiting...
On You.
My Master, speak the words
That shine forth the light.
My Teacher, I won't leave
I have found what's right...
It's You.

I spent last night wrapped in four blankets, huddled shivering on the living room couch with a mug of steaming hot cocoa gripped in my almost-frozen fingers. All because I ran out of heating oil. Long story. It is yet another drama in home-ownership.*Sigh* I believe my thermostat read 49 degrees. SO COLD!!!! And cold is misery. And there were some tears of frustration…

By this evening, my house is warm and cozy. And I can’t even clearly remember the cold and pain and aggravation that, just 24 hours ago, seemed all-consuming. Last night’s troubles are far, far away… As I thought about all these happenings, the Lord used my tendency to forget painful experiences, to remind me of something important:

“…Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”
Psalm 30:5

Just like a woman mesmerized by her beautiful baby—the pain of childbirth is a small price to pay. Just like a bride captivated by her husband—the years of waiting are a distant memory.

“In this, you greatly rejoice, even though now, for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials…”
1 Peter 1:6

Our lives will have seasons of affliction, persecution, crushing pressure, etc. 1 Peter 4:12 says that we should not be surprised by the fiery trials that come upon us. But we ought to rejoice! So I say, brothers and sisters, take courage! Though things are difficult now, the season will come to an end. And our looking-back will not be reliving the pain of yesterday, but rather, rejoicing in the comfort of today.

To all those weighted down by the burdens of today, Christ will bear it for you!

To every single man or woman discouraged by the lack of prospects on the horizon, seemingly blinded to the leading of the Lord, struggling with your feelings and self-will, helpless to do anything but trust, just know that your Father has pre-seen your need and provided for you!

To every soul feeling the fire of affliction, melting in the heat of testing… To each one with chaff going up in flames—and it seems that nothing remains in your life but Jesus… He is enough. More than enough.

To every heart believing in faith for the promises of God to be realized, while doubt rears its ugly head and threatens to drown you, just remember that faith is, by definition, believing what you can’t see. And God’s promises never fail.

To the one overwhelmed by the darkness, lift your eyes to the Sunrise! The greatest darkness is just before dawn. There is hope—always—only—found in Christ alone!

And even if our lives cannot guarantee perfection or happiness or comfort or all our wishes coming true, it doesn’t matter. Because one day—that great and glorious day—all our tears will be wiped away. Our joy will be made complete. This is our Blessed Hope: Christ is coming!!!

Christmas season initiates the season of mystery. Because we're all Christmas shopping in preparation for giving gifts, there's alot of whispering, secrets and silent-yet-meaningful smirks. Or, if you are The Sparkly Girl, "AAAAAH, I bought your Christmas present today!!! I'm SO EXCITED! Now I just have to see if you have it already... YAY!!!" Haha. Her eyes fairly exploded with glittery excitement! Hilarious to watch, for sure.

Anyway, some of my weekend was mysterious and will remain so--but I'll share the rest... Friday. I hosted something that I began to refer to as "The Christmas Cookie House Party." Alot of youth people + flour, gingerbread, cookie cutters, mixers, dough chilling outside, loud Christmas music, too many people in one kitchen, It's a Wonderful Life, snowflakes, middle-schoolers running in circles around my house, buttercream frosting, The Grinch, Santa hats, digital cameras, melting chocolate, and generally cheery Christmas chaos. Five hours of baking = Five different kinds of cookies, probably 17-20 dozen. Saturday. I was up early to deliver the cookies to a fundraiser for the American Red Cross. Because we couldn't eat ALL of those cookies. :) ................. <--- And that's a Christmas mystery of my Saturday doings. Later, there was travel to 'the mountaintop' to chill with The Little Bro. I adore cozy fires, Narnia & the company of a certain large black-haired dog. Sunday. Worship was awesome. Unexpected theme throughout. "I'll sing Your praises forever, deeper in love with You. Here in Your courts, where I'm close to Your throne. I found where I belong." And we heard the Word preached about worshipping Jesus, too. Family dinner at my house (I still get a thrill at the words "my house!"). And it was a *real* family dinner--with the whole family, including The Other Bro, his wife and the funny little nephew. More Christmas mysteries....

Christmas: It's the most wondeful time of the year!

At risk of seeming self-absorbed, I’m gonna do my version of the Internet tagging phenomenon, “Four Things.”

Four things I did (yesterday)…
1- Had a surprise visit from The Sparkly Girl at my workplace. She laughed, showed me her Christmas presents, looked at the cool fish and sometimes runaway crab and then I took her home.
2- Danced in the kitchen with one adorable niece while singing Jingle Bells. What joy on her face!!
3- Decorated for Christmas! Kind of. Sort of. I’m not done yet. But I do feel very festive!
4 – Emailed my parents, who are currently vacationing in Jamaica. :)

Four blogs I have enjoyed recently...
Yeah, I read blogs. But I have this cool gadget called ‘Google Reader,’ which saves time by consolidating all blog feeds into one place.
1. http://atypicalpastorswife.blogspot.com/. The blog of my friend and pastor’s wife. I love the recent posts on “The Consistent Christian.”
2. http://ourkitchensink.wordpress.com/. A food blog that I actually make recipes from. Like corn chowder, and peanut butter-swirled brownies, and quiche, and chocolate cheesecake. Nice.
3. http://www.evtales.com/. Sometimes hilarious stories about street-preaching the Gospel around LA.
4. http://www.sovereigngraceministries.org/Blog/post/The-Sluggard.aspx. CJ Mahaney’s blog. This post about Laziness was really convicting!

Four things on my to-do list…
Make shopping list for youth cookie baking night (tonight!). Work on a Christmas gift. Vacuum my bedroom. Find my thank-you cards!

Four random facts about me…
1- I’m a genetic mutation. Honestly. Every dentist or oral surgeon has told me that. Well, not in those exact words. They usually say, “do you know that you’re missing some adult teeth?” To which, I shrug and reply, “I’m a mutant. It’s my parents’ fault!”
2- If I don’t rest on Sunday, my week starts out very bad. It’s funny how the Bible always proves itself right. You just need a rest day once a week.
3- I wear a ring on the ring finger of my left hand. I’m not married though. It’s a purity/promise/chastity/abstinence ring. Little known fact: I actually wear my sister’s old promise ring. She’s married to a Godly man now… And well, if it worked for her… LOL
4- My earliest memory is being in church. :)

Four Scriptures that encouraged me recently...
2 Peter 1:3
“Seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence.”

Psalm 42:11
“Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God.”

Psalm 3:5
“I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the LORD sustains me."

1 Peter 1:13
“Therefore, prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”

"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that I may know Thee indeed. Begin a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long. In Jesus' name. Amen."

From A.W. Tozer's The Pursuit of God.

"O God, You are my God ; I shall seek You earnestly ; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water." Psalm 63:1

Water is a basic human need. The human body can survive for some time without food, but can survive only 3 days without water in average conditions. The spiritual need for God's presence is much greater. It's saddening to me that we often live in the flesh and quiet the desires of the spirit. I remember vividly a fiery sermon preached on July 6th, 2001. The key verse was Psalm 119:20 "My soul is crushed with longing after Your ordinances at all times." I have often thought of that verse and been challenged by its message. The question burns with me: Am I crushed with longing for the Word at ALL times?

Today I want to be more thirsty for the Lord.

I'm gonna try not to be long-winded. This might be the longest weekend-in-review ever because it is Thanksgiving Weekend In Review. Enough introductions though: Let's get this party started!!

Wednesday night: It seemed like everybody and their brother was travelling for Thanksgiving, so we had a really small youth group meeting. Eh--no meeting, I just took 'em out for pizza and we talked about the meaning of thanksgiving from the Word. In between lines like, "A tornado is God running in circles!" and "Can someone hand me a straw that Evan has not licked?" I love the youth group! Afterwards, I went home to make a deep dark chocolate cheesecake. Except I'm changing the name to "Death by Cheesecake." It's so much more imaginative. :)

Thursday-THANKSGIVING!: Watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade (tradition) with the windows wide open (so NOT tradition). We're still attempting to rid my house of that fuel oil smell. GAH. My "cottage" welcomed the family for Thanksgiving dinner. Hosting a meal is FUN!!!! And I didn't burn anything or stress out the tiniest bit. Of course, having a mom and sis with skill & initiative in the kitchen makes life alot easier. After dinner, it was * shhhhh* Christmas present making time. A little dozing. A little football. A little reading. And then a crazy rush to pack stuff to spend the weekend with my parents.

Friday-BLACK FRIDAY!: There's was nothing tempting enough to get out at the crack of dawn for shopping. We moseyed around town, ate some pizza while I made a Christmas-shopping-list (I love lists) and I purchased 5 gifts through the course of the day!! :) I'm truly amazed. Usually, the pressure overwhelms me, the crowds annoy me and I give up after a few hours.... Now that I think about it, we only shopped for a few hours---so it worked... Back onto the mountaintop for chillin' with the family, bright night stars, intriguing conversation and/or debate in the hot tub with The Little Bro "is life on other planets possible?"... And no, I don't think so.

Saturday: Youth group Christmas shopping trip to a nearby mall. It's better than our town's mall because a. it has a food court. b. it has escalators. and c. it has this nutrition store with a nifty massage chair demo out front. Yeah, that's where I rested every couple hours! It was FUN TIMES with the youth group and I was just grateful that nobody got kicked out of the mall for riding the escalators the wrong way! And I purchased more Christmas gifts, got some ideas and bought some books for myself. Does that really surprise anyone? What is also not surprising is that I can read while riding in the car, without any ill effects. I can also crochet Christmas presents. I think this multi-tasking skill originates from so much road-tripping as a child. I can remember our trips when I was younger. We would drive through the night and I'd be laying in the backseat, reading by flashlight. :) Haha. Nice.

Sunday-The LORD'S DAY!: Day of fellowship with the saints, the presence of the Lord, rest and refreshing. Lately, my favorite part of church has been the 'praying for one another' thing. Very comforting to know that there are folks who will hold us up in prayer... Lunch with family and a very excitable niece "There's a SPEAKER where the MUSIC comes from!" and "Chicken!" Then fun times with The Little Bro, the roomies and football. And baking cookies. And several Christmas movies. A little cheesy, but I feel the spirit of Christmas a'coming. Now we just need some Christmas decorations!

Stay tuned for more interesting stuff than just reiterations of my life activities! :)

These burdens are too heavy
For the weakness of myself.
I cry unto the Lord
From whence cometh my help!

Lift up these eyes
From the hopelessness
From the helplessness
From the circumstance
Lift up these eyes to see
Christ-my help! my King!

Many times there are circumstances beyond my control and they are like colossal weights bearing down on me. I feel overcome and weary. And truth is--all I need is a change in perspective. Instead of looking at me or the circumstances, I must lift up my eyes to the Savior. If I am given to prayer, He will intervene. He will change me, at least, and that's what helps. Because it's not my job to bear the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Here I come, to the Burden-bearer... Here I come, to my Redeemer.

Check out Psalm 121 for words more powerful than my own.

Lowlights: A puppy accident, people situations and an oil leak. The details just make me sad, so I'm choosing not to dwell on them. Onward to happier things…

Highlights:
Dinner with the youth girls, with real china and glasses and talking and laughing (very hard) about who-knows-what. I think there may have even been a candle in the mix… I love cooking for people! Home-cooked pot roast & vegetables, and dinner rolls, and fragrant breakfast quiche, and steaming hot chocolate, and muffins… Discovering that I have a very-bouncey mattress, perfect for jumping on! (the girls thought this was hilarious---I was too enthralled with its bounceyness to care!)…Walks in the crunchy snow with swirling flurries around us. It seemed magical. Yes, Christmas-time is here with its twinkling lights and red ribbons and evergreen boughs. I'm getting sentimental just thinking about it… An afternoon nap… A PSU victory = probable Rose Bowl eligibility… Lonely book shopping and an unexpected literary conversation with the antique store clerk…

CHURCH. The best highlight of all. Yeah, I was feeling pretty low going into church. And after worship, I was playing the keyboard during testimony time and I just said to the Lord, "I know--usually we come to church to bring something to the Body, but today I have nothing. I need a word!" And then *BANG* a friend testifies about trusting "in Christ alone." Yeah, we had just sang that song. But it didn't really hit until that testimony. Trust in Christ alone. Not people. Or things. Or my plans. Or my house. Or anything else. Jesus is trustworthy.

John Wesley said, "Before I preach love, mercy and grace, I must preach sin, Law and judgment." Wesley later advised a friend, "Preach 90% Law and 10% grace.”

Charles Spurgeon said, “They must be slain by the Law before they can be made alive by the gospel!"

Preaching the Law in accurate proportion to grace gives us a true perception of the Gospel. It makes Christ most precious to us. Until we see our need for Christ, the Gospel means nothing to us. But when we recognize the vileness of sin, the Gospel is our lifeline and Christ is our Savior!

Contrary to popular belief, Law, grace and the Gospel are not something that we experience once and then forget. These things are daily experiences. They are the starting line, the race we run each day and the finish line. The Gospel is the good news of forgiveness of sin and deliverance from sin. And the power of Christ’s blood is greater than any stain of sin in our lives. Grace is that divine ability to live free from the bondage of sin and be holy, even as Christ is holy.

“But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be glory both now and forever! Amen.”
2 Peter 3:18

• Penny candy from the corner store
• Baseball games with the neighborhood kids
• Catching (and smashing) lightning bugs
• Playing in the clubhouse
• Our custom two room-with-a-hallway sandbox
• Eating honeysuckle & swingin' on the porch
• Strawberry picking!
• Long hikes and bike rides… with Daddy
• The tire swing!
• The one time we built a massive football helmet out of snow. :)
• Playing piano with the doors and windows flung open and summer breezes…
• The Buttercream Gang song (just watch the movie)
• Making up a game of kick-the-can with The Oldest Friends
• Connect 4 wars
• Passing secret notes at Christian school (well, it was a secret until I told you!)
• Cooperative push-mowing with The Sis
• The Trip Out West… our five-week-long family vacation/business trip
• Friday Night Bible studies

Yup, I'm feeling all nostalgic. What are your favorite childhood memories?

I don't remember my weekend. Now that I have sufficiently freaked you out... Just kidding!! After every weekend, I have to make a conscious effort to remember everything that happened. Maybe I have a poor memory. Or maybe I'm just running 'round like crazy and need to chill a little bit. Hmmm. Food for thought.

Friday was ice skating with the youth group. I'll have you know that I cut my hand while tying several youth's skates. Yes, I bleed for them. (laughter). My jaw hit the floor after one kid randomly says, "NEVER trust a Japanese person!" After my shocked expression, he said, "What?? They bombed us at Pearl Harbor!" (laughter). Then we had a discussion about not stereotyping and that there were Japanese Americans fighting on our side. This is why kids should listen to Adventures in Odyssey. Gives 'em good perspective on history. I spent most of an hour coaching the timid skaters, a few minutes giving lame advice to the ice "lifeguard" (laughter) and some time discussing holiness with the other youth leader. We walked up to the Penn State Creamery for the best ice cream in State College! My opinion, of course. :) And the best flavor is "Death by Chocolate." Does that not just sound ridiculously awesome? And the person scooping my ice cream order yells, "Dish of Death!!!" (laughter). I can't help it--I am easily amused!

It's harder to make my Saturdays sound interesting, because it is generally when I do the unglamorous things in life. Like cleaning the kitchen floor, vacuuming, etc. I'm not complaining though--it's kinda fun! And that is what a virtuous woman does: takes good care of her household. So it's like, training in righteousness. Even though it sounds boring. Moral of this story: Practical things are actually spiritual.... Moving right along, quick trip to the mountaintop to check on things. Then over to babysit the adorable nieces. Trying to multi-task, aka. hold baby, kick dog and put cheese on pizza. How does my sister do it?? We had lots of fun though. We have moved out of the reading-story hobby and moved into, "Auntie ____, tell me a story!" It's definitely stretching my imagination to tell 5 different stories about 5 different casts of characters. Oh yeah, and we played with Play-doh. Which was awesome! Back to my house for a movie night with some friends. After an hour of chillin' at the dining room table and discussing the 'balanced diet' buffet of popcorn, potato chips, chocolate chip cookie dough and soda, we finally watched some good movies. And passionately discussed racism.

Sunday morning dawned crisp and cold. It was snowing during church!!! That was kind of distracting, actually--since there are two windows right behind The Pastor. We worshipped, prayed, testified, fellowshipped, etc.. Heard the Word preached about sound doctrine and false doctrine, and 1 Timothy 4. A perfectly on-time Word for me, because I was more than a little righteously indignant about a situation that some friends are experiencing. We are living in the last days though. So persecution ought not surprise us. Anyway, it was a wonderful day of rest.

Got any rivers you think are uncrossable?
Got any mountains you can't tunnel through?
God specializes in things thought impossible
And He will do what no other power can do...

This is an old chorus that I learned on Sunday morning. And there were tears in my eyes. Because this past week has been such a lesson in faith. Faith to move mountains that seemed impossible. It is incredible how the Lord speaks the right word through many different sources...

My testimony: I'm a homeowner. More specifically, I own a little house that needed alot of repairs. One unexpected repair was the installation of a new furnace. And I did not have the money to pay for a new furnace. NO MONEY. So I prayed and trusted that the Lord would provide "food and covering" for me, just like His Word says. (I count heat as a kind of covering-a necessity as we head into a cold Pennsylvania winter). On Friday, the Lord miraculously took care of it all. He provided in a way that I hadn't dared to hope. From the moment of that provision, I felt dazed. Like I was in a movie. * Cue theme music* * Fade camera* So I ran away to be alone. Sat on the floor and breathed prayers of thanksgiving to the Lord.

Maybe I shouldn't be so surprised that the Lord would provide! He has done so much for me already, and I feel so unworthy of His blessings. This particular financial blessing is just another encouragement to keep on believing, even when there is no answer on the horizon. Like my sis wrote to me in an email, "Remember, from the first moment you prayed... you were heard. Learn this lesson of persevering in faith til the answer comes; it is so useful in every situation in our lives. Mountains that need to be moved are everywhere, but nothing is impossible with God."

Here Follow Several Occasional Meditations
by Anne Bradstreet

By night when others soundly slept,
And had at once both case and rest,
My waking eyes were open kept
And so to lie I found it best.

I sought Him whom my soul did love,
With tears I sought Him earnestly;
He bowed His ear down from above.
In vain I did not seek or cry.

My hungry soul He filled with good,
He in His bottle put my tears,
My smarting wounds washed in His blood,
And banished thence my doubts and fears.

What to my Savior shall I give,
Who freely hath done this for me?
I'll serve Him here whilst I shall live
And love Him to eternity.

This was written by Anne Bradstreet, who was considered to be one of the first American poets. She lived from 1612-1672 and was married to Governor Simon Bradstreet. Much of her poetry was written during the intense loneliness as her husband travelled, such as her most famous poem, "To My Dear and Loving Husband." I find her poetry fascinating, because it was radical for a Puritan woman to be writing/publishing poetry and because of the honest, spiritual themes of her poetry written during hard times.

I hope you enjoyed this poem.. and if nothing else, now ya know something new about American history! :)

Yesterday afternoon, I was out and about, stopping at a store for a few things. As I walked through the parking lot, I happened to look up! The sky was clouded over and dark, but to my left—glorious light was streaming through!

“Will Jesus come in clouds like these?” With that thought, I stood motionless—transfixed at the sight of shining glory clouds. Lost in a reverie of my own imaginings. “Maybe He will come today…”

After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.
1 Thessalonians 4:17

I like to do the weekend in review a little different. Gotta break up the monotony, ya know.

"Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things..."

Some of my favorite things were wrapped up in my weekend with a nice bow! :) Laughing time with The Little Bro. Another photography shoot at a military museum. Sunlight and silhouettes and reflections in the water. Making pasta for supper and happy company like The Little Bro & The City Guy. Baking yummylicious food for countless hours with The Raven-Haired Girl while listening to Keith Green. Early morning time in the Word with very little sleep. Last-minute time in Walmart and more & more & more food prep. Sad Penn State football with a tragic ending. Endless house tours and fun conversation with neighbors, coworkers and friends. Soft Kenny-G-instrumental Christmas music in the background, got me thinking about Christmas! Wonderful friends who forbid my touching the food, so I could focus on hostessing. :) Studying for adult Sunday School class and falling asleep on my keyboard. Talking about politics one more time (that's more like an unfavorite thing right now). Breaking nails while playing piano and being too passionate in worship. Spontaneous background music during testimony time. Nobody noticed, but I was playing "God's not dead-NO! He is aliiiive!..." Ahhh, yes, sweet childhood memories. Record number--three preachers in one service!! (The Pastor was out of town, and organized the preaching extravaganza in his absence). Unusual, but waaaay awesome! Family time in the form of a belated birthday dinner. Making faces at the itty-bitty nieces. Long nap, reading and thinking time with The Dog laying at my feet. Walk-about-town with The Butterfly Girl and one very happy doggie. Another viewing of Fireproof-the-Movie. Hanging time with the roomie, as we continued the former family tradition of Sue Thomas, F.B.Eye and then a little football. All we were missing was some popcorn and my dad's lame jokes. * sigh*. And these are a few of my favorite things...

Many of you know that it was my birthday recently. Birthdays are grand!!!! The infamous question is, "Sooooo... whadya get?" :) Yeah, I did receive some presents. But my favorite-est gifts are the actions of love.


It’s love when somebody remembers that my favorite cake is carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. It’s love when somebody sees an unused garden bench resting on curb for the garbage man, and calls me to see if my lonely porch could use it. It’s love every-single-time my parents go out of their way, just to help me with house stuff (which has been like billions of times, I am in love-debt to my parents!). It's love when I'm struggling with sickness and someone offers to pray for me right then, over the phone. It's love when my little brother takes me out to dinner at a fancy restaurant, just because I asked. It's love when my roommates avoid studying just to chill, watch movies or talk about life issues with me. It's love when someone hears a rumor and thinks the best of me and then talks directly to me to get the truth. It's love when someone sends a 'how ya doin?' email/text/IM for no reason. The list could go on and on...

Gifts of love are the best because they are not limited to one day per year, like birthday presents. Gifts of love can happen any time! You'll notice that many of these gifts do not involve money. They are gifts of time, thoughts, attention, etc. Many times, love is not convenient or easy or fuzzy-feeling-related. Love is sacrificial by nature. Love puts aside its own agenda and sacrifices for the happiness of another.

I'm hoping and praying that the Lord teaches to me to be a giver of love to the people around me. While receiving love is wonderful, I'm sure giving love is better!

"For it is for this we labor and strive, because we have fixed our hope on the living God, who is the Savior of all men, especially of believers."
1 Timothy 4:10

There were many emotions running through my heart last night. Anger, disappointment, sadness, frustration, and more hopelessness... But the Word always brings balance. While the election may be over, our fight of faith is not. We have fixed our hope on Christ--and only Him.

The media claims this election is historic... for racial reasons. I believe this election is historic... for moral reasons. And though I strongly encourage you to vote, and to vote based on morality, I want to insert a little bit of balance of the passionate discussion of politics.

It is tempting to view this election in black-and-white (and no, that is not a racial reference). I know that my personal tendency is to alternate between hope and hopelessness. I.e. "If Obama wins, America is lost forever" being the tamest of sentiments.

The fact of the matter is the America is already lost! The majority of Americans, though religious, have never experienced the saving power of Christ and the miracle of the Gospel. And that is the direct result of sin--not politics. America is rocketing towards destruction as time draws ever nearer to the return of the Lord. But it's not about politics. I think, more than anything, politics may be a thermometer of the moral temperature of our culture. In the midst of this craziness, our perspective must be determined by the King. We must remember that we are aliens and strangers in this land! Just here for a little while... and here for the preaching of the Gospel. Our happiness does not rise and fall with the election results.

I exhort you: Pray that God will stay the tide of wickedness in our generation, for the purpose of bringing Himself glory. Vote for candidates the most reflect Christ's characters (i.e. wouldn't support murdering innocents). And keep an eternal perspective.

I need to be Superwoman... Give me a cape and the ability to fly, and life would be so much simpler. Or maybe just super-human powers. I think that's what grace is supposed to be like. As God works in our lives, He gives us power to do things that we couldn't do by ourselves. Lately my thoughts have tended towards "too much to do, too little time" or "something hard to do, too little ability" or my personal favorite... "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" As much as my flesh hates difficult situations, my spirit likes them... because I am forced to cling to Jesus. That sounds so wrong---as if I need to be outwardly compelled to trust in the Lord. But honestly, sometimes I do. And the Lord is faithful to deliver me from my "Superwoman" complex.

So that was the lesson of the weekend. And here's the long-awaited Weekend in Review:

Friday. The Chatty Girl and I went around on Penn State campus for some portraits. She lived up to her name, and we chatted, joked and laughed the entire time! I said again "Look! A cool door!" which is quickly becoming my byline. She walked barefoot in the grass and even dipped her toes in freezing water--all for the photos. And I smacked an unsuspecting squirrel. And eavesdropped on some Willard preacher clones. Then, fun high school football game. HILARIOUS times in the church van with The Crazy Kid bellowing to unsuspecting passerbyers "You kicked my dog! YOU DID IT!" Hey now, with all those people dressed up in Halloween freakiness, they needed a little good, clean humor. :) Youth group football afterparty, which meant good food and a ridiculously fun game of charades.

Saturday. Editing photos, house-cleaning, grocery shopping, menu planning, and then a late afternoon/early evening photo shoot with The Sis & Bro-in-Law. It was my first attempt taking photos of a couple, and I loved it!! Somewhat because they're related to me and that makes it hilarious... and because they love each other so much, and that makes it adorably awesome... and because I could tell they are parents to little ones when I told them to make an angry face, and they both did-without a moment's hesitation!! There was even an answer to prayer. As I left my house, the sky was completely covered in clouds. I prayed (and unbeknownst to me, The Sis prayed, too). And by the time we were heading to the location, there was lovely sunlight!! How that happened so quickly, I do not know but it was amazing! Anyway, then it was back to my house for hours upon hours of sorting through photos. I did roast a pumpkin at the same time. And watch a movie. And broke my blender. Now THAT is multi-tasking.

Sunday
I was glad to be in the house of the Lord, among the saints who are also just glad to be together. Lots of testimonies and exhortation and encouragement. And I am really, really enjoying the expository preaching. That's preaching done verse-by-verse, rather than topically. Right now, The Pastor is teaching through the pastoral epistles: 1 & 2 Timothy and Titus. Expository preaching seems to bring so much more to light. I get to scribble Greek word meanings in the margins of my Bible for future reference! Woot. After church, a group of people road-tripped to a nearby town to see the now-open-kind-of-in-our-area Fireproof movie!! I HIGHLY recommend it! And as we were killin' time before the movie at a nearby thrift store, I found (what else?!) books and pretty tea cups. Then, home with the roomie, a little Darcy time and book cataloging. Good times.

I love the poems of Amy Carmichael. Sometimes the words are beyond my understanding, and sometimes I wish that I had written the words myself.

Not only love but also loneliness-
Yea, even so.
What though the nearest may not ever know
All that in this must be,
That being a secret between Thee and me,
Thou knowest. And it cannot work me ill,
Being Thy will;
And by and by
Thou wilt satisfy.

But unknown years stand up and stare at me.
The sun beats hot;
I look around for shelter, find it not.
Companion me;
Be shelter, Lord, to me!
O let Thy shadow be
As the cool starlit night-in noonday-unto me.

A.k.a. Weekend in Review

I tried to rest. Really! I was trying to get rid of the stupid cold that has taken over my head and throat for the last few days. But life goes on... whether I am sick or not. Friday. Photography of The Sparkly Girl in the coooold. What a trooper she was. Making hot beef stew and biscuits to take the chill out of our bones. My parents came over for a moment, and ended up staying to watch a fascinating movie for the evening. While I edited photos and joked with The Mom for her incessant sniffling 'cuz the movie was sad. Saturday. No voice. I squeaked and squawked. Hehe. Running errands, laundry, a nap or two, getting the cable working, using the dishwasher for the 1st time!... Sadly, we had to cancel the afternoon photo shoot because of rain. Next week! The Little Bro, The Mom and The Butterfly Girl roomie were there for supper (stromboli, woohoo!) and then the Penn State/Ohio State game. Conveniently, I was multi-tasking with the laptop, which kept me from yelling at the TV very often. PSU won though. 9-and-0, baby! Sunday. Lip-synching worship, cause my voice was still weird. Last week of Pastor Appreciation Month, so the youth group gave me a gift 'n' a funny card! :) A nap. If there was theme in this blog entry, it would be sleep. Anyway, new Sunday night tradition: Walk with the roomie through my lovely little town and watching a movie. Okay, only partially watching a movie. But we did sing along with our favorite songs. "Tale as old as time.. Song as old as rhyme.. Beauty and the Beast..." *smile *

What a week. What a long, arduous, difficult week. Internal and external turmoil. Slight affliction. Sickness in body. Struggle of soul. Financial woes. Decisions and hardship. And in the midst of it all, the Word gave several reminders to me.

"May the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the steadfastness of Christ."
2 Thessalonians 3:5

The Lord may not direct me into a comfortable or blissful existence. He may not lead me always to green pastures--sometimes I walk in the valley. But He always directs my heart to loving Him fully and being overcome with His faithfulness towards me.

"Now may the Lord of peace Himself continually grant you peace in every circumstance..."
2 Thessalonians 3:16

In every circumstance. My mind goes wild with the practical ramifications of this verse. In EVERY single circumstance, the Lord will grant me peace. How amazing.

“… For man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7

If I could only count the number of times that someone has used this verse to justify their actions. People like to focus on the last part of this verse. “The Lord sees my heart! He knows what my intention is! I have a good heart! I don’t care what people think of me—I only care what God thinks!” This sounds good, for sure, but is it truly the right attitude to have?

Yes, it is true that the Lord looks at our heart.
Yes, it is true that the Lord sees our true motives.

But it is also true that man (or generally, people) look at the outward appearance. The old adage is worryingly accurate: You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

As Christian, we bear a great responsibility. We are not simply responsible to reflect our own individual clothing style, but we are responsible to reflect the character of Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:20 states that “we are ambassadors for Christ.” Just a few verses before that, we learn that we have been given “the ministry of reconciliation.”

Yes, the Lord looks at the heart… but there are people, sinners and saints, who look constantly at our outward appearance. They gain insight of our character by our clothing. For the sake of our Lord, for the sake of the Gospel, for the sake of the eternal destiny of souls... let us continually seek to Lord to be accurate ambassadors for Him in the silent speech of our clothing.

Modesty begins with our attitude towards God.

As we said yesterday, humility is one of the motives for modesty. Humility recognizes the greatness of God and the smallness of me. In the context of modesty, humility seeks that others be attracted to God, rather than attracted to me. It takes humility to purposely avoid clothing that screams “LOOK AT ME!” I know! I go shopping sometimes, too! Besides the obvious worldly bent towards sensuality, it seems that any clothing article has a hidden agenda to get you noticed.

In 1 Timothy 2:9, Paul urges “that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control…”

Here is someone that explains the link between modesty & humility much better than I could. In the words of C.J. Mahaney :

“Modesty means propriety. It means avoiding clothes and and adornment that are extravagant or sexually enticing. Modesty is humility expressed in dress. It’s a desire to serve others, particularly men, by not promoting or provoking sensuality.

"Immodesty, then is much more than wearing a short skirt or low-cut top; it’s the act of drawing undue attention to yourself. It’s pride, on display, by what you wear.

"Self-control is, in a word, restraint. Restraint for the purpose of purity; restraint for the purpose of exalting God and not ourselves. Together, these attitudes of modesty and self-control should be the hallmark of the godly woman’s dress.”

If you ever have studied fashion—even in the most cursory way—you might notice the outrageousness that characterizes the runway shows. I have read articles about how to bring runway fashions into your normal life without looking like a freak. It made me wonder, why didn’t they just design beautiful normal clothes to begin with? Seems like a bit too much effort to me.

My point is though, the fashion world strives for the outrageous, the unique, and most eye-catching clothes. Note the last adjective: Eye-catching. And here lies the heart of the matter.

Modesty isn’t just about avoiding sexually suggestive clothing, though that is part of it. Modesty is also about avoiding clothing that only exists to draw attention to self. Clothing can be so distracting that it is immodest… And have I got a story for you!

My parents have always set standards of modesty in clothing for my sister and I. My mom would gauge the appropriateness of our clothing, and then if my dad didn’t think it was good when we came home-that article of clothing went right back to the store. (That didn’t happen very often though. We usually got it right the first time).

As a teenager, style was pretty important to me. My sister was “preppy,” and I liked to call myself “edgy.” Meaning I loved silver and black and anything that sparkled and shined. I liked to be different.

Anyway, I must’ve been about 18 or 19 when I bought a certain pair of sparkly silver dress pants. You have NEVER seen anything like these pants. They reflected the light blindingly from about a mile away! And me, in my ignorance and immaturity, wore them one Sunday morning when I was leading worship. I remember a twinge of conscience saying “maybe I shouldn’t,” but I quieted myself and wore them anyway.

It wasn’t too long after this when someone came to speak with me with love and concern about my clothes, and especially that particular outfit. And I realized quickly that instead my “fashion sense” being on display before my friends, it was only my sinful pride shown plainly for all to see. While I don’t believe those dress pants would be appropriate in any setting now, they were especially inappropriate in the house of God while I was serving in leading God’s people in worship. What an obvious exhibition of the state of my heart—and my motives.

One of the greatest motives of modesty: Humility.

If there was a theme to my weekend, it would be a blurred sense of exhileration and frenzied activity. And I know the readers are intrigued by that thought... so here we go!


Friday. Out to the mountaintop for supper with the family (steaks on the grill!!), transplanting my herbs into containers for transport, petting and talking to The Dog, packing up musical instruments, watching and/or commenting on Walker, Texas Ranger while chillin' on The Little Bro's new furniture, and the steaming warmth of the hot tub and the bright night sky. Top 3 Things I Miss From Living At Home: The brilliant stars, my dog and my mom's Kitchenaid mixer.... And just when you thought my evening was over... I head for my house. And joy of joys, my roommates were home!!! Both of them! And me! At the same time! Girlie movies and conversation time. :)


Saturday. First order of business: transferring fuel oil from a coworker's oil tank to my own. This was a very interesting ordeal that I don't intend to repeat for, let's say, the next hundred years! After all was said and done, I owned fuel oil, ruined a pair of jeans and smelled like a Texas oil field. Booyah! Welcoming guests for a quick-tour of the newly painted bathroom. It's NOT pink. Really! The color is called "Bermuda Sand." It's supposed to be light brown. But I guess it changes colors with the light... ANYway, The Curious Girl and I were off for a photo shoot. Then back to my house for some hot tea and homemade Chinese food. Then to Walmart for groceries. And finally, The Curious Girl and I go to organize my bedroom. I added to the chaos by bringing home music stuff and 6 more boxes on Friday. We had to haul boxes up to the attic and change furniture around. Try to get a mental picture of me pulling around that massive dresser. It was like a clay pigeon shoot. "Pull!!... okay.. Pull!... okay..." Some of you will not get that connection. It's okay though. Evening spent with ice cream, Bella movie, more hot tea and editing photos.


Sunday. What a glorious day. Church was just awesome. There was this vibrant spiritual life that pulsated through the service. In greater measure than usual. I don't know what was different. Maybe because we had visitors? Maybe because God was doing good things in everyone individually? I was touched during worship, as we sang Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone), just receiving a greater appreciation for the Gospel. Awesome expository preaching. And the youth group rocked their Pastor Appreciation Skit! Then onward to my house for a homemade pizza party. Mass chaos in my kitchen with ten people milling around. The Chatty Girl was eating leftover raw pizza dough (eww!), The Raven-Haired Girl was helping spread the cheese, The City Guy had to run to the grocery store for cookie supplies.. We finally ate lunch and the pizza must've been good because the crowd demolished five huge rectangular pizzas in no time!... And then, semi-surprise visit from VA/NY people. Only a surprise because I got the voicemail right after church--you should've seen me jumping up and down in excitement. House tour and hilarious conversation in the living room. They had to leave too soon, but we loved having them for even a tiny visit!!! A walk through the town at dusk with the roomie. Photos of old buildings. Wishing the cute shops were open. More hot tea. Tea is becoming a theme in this blog entry. :)

I will end this before it becomes boring. Suffice it to say that my weekend was grand.

Here I am, offering excuses on why I didn't write the next Modesty post.

On Thursday night, I stop at Walmart for a few groceries, get home and put muffins in the oven, scrub floor, hold wood while Mom uses power tools, talk to the cable salesman, carry very large bookcase from shed to the roomie's bedroom, fence the compost pile, rake my entire back yard and try not to get depressed that there will be more leaves tomorrow, prime shelves and get my hands covered with primer, make two phone calls to set up portrait photo sessions (eeeeek! exciting!), chop veggies, fry meat and otherwise put together chili for someone, eat supper and have long conversations with the roomie while looking at cooking mags, turn over shelves and prime other side, do dishes, and finally in my room for a little reading, writing music & playing guitar. And then I got up at 5 a.m. this morning to make fresh cornbread to go along with the chili.

Okay, so I'm not really making excuses... more like revelling in the fact that I spent an entire evening doing very homey things and that's just totally awesome!

A quick side-note: I love how my Lord is in every part of my life.. as I sing alone (and nobody hears) while raking leaves, as I think deeply with my hands in hot dishwater, as my roomie and I speak of His amazing power, as I grapple with problems throughout the evening and then am encouraged by someone's blog post, and as the night falls... the cry of my heart turns to melodies. Through the mundane tasks and ordinary troubles of life, God's presence is like air. Always faithful to be there. And I wonder what people do without Him? Without Christ, life is meaningless.

I said that the Modesty Series would return... And here it is! I've been more than a little distracted by the whole house ownership thing, with all my free time going to construction or housework or the various other ministry responsibilities of my life. And since blogging Biblically actually takes serious study, a.k.a. time., this series had to go on a little sabbatical. But it's ba-a-ack! Woot.

The Motives for Modesty

It's easy to become obsessed with the outward manifestations of modesty/immodesty. Those things are obvious. 1 Samuel 16:7 says, "...Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." The Lord is concerned with the root, not just the fruit in our lives. What makes us dress modestly? Or immodestly? What drives our actions? What causes us to make each decision to put on certain clothes?

The first motive-and the greatest-is to please God.

"Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness."
1 Timothy 2:9-10

The Word is very clear. If we claim to be Christians, we must dress modestly. This is an issue of simple obedience. God said it, so we have to do it.

"If you love Me, you will keep My commandments."
John 14:15

More tomorrow as we continue to look at the motives for modesty.
___________________________________________________

Self-Questions:
Is it my intention to please God with how I dress?
When I get dressed, is my primary motive to obey God?
Am I motivated by my love for the Lord? or love of the world?
Do I struggle with obedience in this area? Why?

Empty, We Come
by Amy Carmichael (missionary to India)

O Love of loves, we have no good to bring Thee,
No single good of all our hands have wrought.
No worthy music have we found to sing Thee,
No jeweled word, no quick up-soaring thought.

And yet we come; and when our faith would falter
Show us, O Lord, the quiet place of prayer,
The golden censer and the golden altar,
And the great angel waiting for us there.

Friday. High school football game with the youth group and various campus group people (including The Little Bro, who turned 19 and bought furniture for his apartment all in one day). Walking and picture-taking and joking around and saying "No, you can't play in the parking garage" to the middle school guys. Does anyone else get mental images of youth guys as roadkill with that thought? I know that I do. Disturbing.... Speaking of disturbing, upon entering the darkened church building and going to turn on lights & prep the room like a responsible youth leader, I fell down a couple steps and wrenched my ankle very painfully. And couldn't walk at all. The youth prayed for me and the swelling did not increase anymore! Praise God!... On another note, my injury was fodder for many jokes and nicknames.

Those were simply my harvest of much injury-related teasing of my friends. Like the time I "pushed" my friend off the sidewalk on the eve of her high school graduation. Yes, she was on crutches on the great walk across the stage. What an epic moment. And the many weeks that I used the word "Gimpy" to describe another friend that fell off her front steps and hurt her knee. Yup, I got a harvest. :)



Saturday. THUMP... pause... THUMP... pause... THUMP... pause. That was me coming down the stairs in the morning. Obviously The Golden Girl (roomie) heard my strange noises, because she came down to see what was wrong. Ankle looked weird, but I could actually walk on the heel a bit... so I hobbled around doing housework. Helping The Mom work on the bathroom construction, hanging clothes on the line, etc. Around mid-afternoon, I was flat on my back with an ice pack on the ankle. The Raven-Haired Girl and The Green-Eyed Girl were coming over for a portrait photo shoot, so I was determined to ice as much as was necessary. The photo shoot was LOTS of fun. We scared an investment banking person coming out of the very cool door we were using as a backdrop. I was slightly saddened to find out it was an investment bank. With the semi-Gothic architecture and lighted chandeliers and large rooms inside, I was imagining something much more thrilling! Anyway, there was hot pasta for supper and talking and laughing and looking at photography blogs and watching some good guys vs. terrorists TV together.

Sunday. I sat on a stool to lead worship while playing keyboard. And that's enough whining about pain and injury! Church was wonderful as usual. The Pastor was down preaching in the Southern Bishop's stead, so The Dad preached on "Why & How to Make Godly Decisions." Things I remember are as follows: "Hormones Block Brain Waves" and "Bless Your Heart" (true meaning: You're a moron!" LOL All joking aside though, it was a good solid teaching that was very helpful to me. Sunday afternoon nap and then the first un-official party in my house. Steaming hot tea and freezing-cold banana splits. I could hear voices raised in heated discussion in the dining room, so I would occasionally go to add a little perspective to the younger people's conversation. Was it edifying conversation? I don't know, but it definitely was LOUD! Good times.




PS - My ankle is fine now. Only slight limp. Thanks for asking. :)

I thought maybe my readers of this blog (whoever they are) might be interested in my new blog. I'm an aspiring photographer - or at least I try to be. Here is the link for my new blog:

http://surrealityphotography.blogspot.com/

Enjoy! :)

Sometimes I just gotta share the youth group craziness...

It all started during our youth cell group meeting yesterday. The Sparkly Girl randomly tells me that she will never take me with her to a funeral. I guess she had just remembered that I deal with pain by making jokes. Somehow, jokes and dead people didn't seem like a good combination to her. Sooooo, I said, "This would be me and (The Sparkly Girl) at a funeral. Sitting next to her. I'll say 'Knock knock'. She'll look at me all angry-like. 'Who's there?' I choke on my own laughter 'Just the dead guy in a casket.'" Yes, I did fall over laughing. And couldn't continue the meeting for a good long time. How morbidly unfunny... For those of you wondering, I wouldn't really tell that joke at a funeral. I hope.

Then, after youth group this evening, I am racking my brain and trying to decipher some notes that I had written down. The notebook said, "Jonah." I repeated, "What about Jonah?" several times. The Witty Kid gets all happy--- "Oh, wasn't he the guy that got thrown overboard because he lost a poker game?!" I was actually shocked speechless. The Witty Kid continues, "Nooo, not poker-it was GO FISH!" Oh. My. Goodness.

The Icing on the Cake:
The youth group is working on a certain project that will remain unnamed for the time being. As I'm directing one segment, I (being the smart one inclined towards physical humor) say, "Oh, this should end in a fistfight!" They fake-fight all the time, so no problem-right? Wrong! In that split second, The Crazy Kid winds up to fake-punch his friend. Except the punch connected. HARD. The entire youth group was falling over on the floor in laughter... with exception of the poor friend, who was laid out on the floor from the punch. More in shock, than in pain-thank the Lord! I'm really hoping there's no black eye tomorrow. There will be no stopping the rumors about my church then!

All the senses of home ownership…

*Sniff* Ahhh, yes, methinks there is an acrid odor. Something burning??? Oh yes, it is the plastic lampshade melting onto a hot lightbulb.

Mmmmm. *Licks a spoon* Tasty!! And I couldn’t even say which recipe I loved making most… hearty Spinach Quiche, or bubbling Old-Fashioned Corn Chowder and hot biscuits, or homemade yet quick Tomato Sauce over Fettucini. I’m hungry again!

MMBEPPPRRRRBEEEEEP *Covers ears* The 5:30 a.m. wakeup call. Did I ever mention that there is a working railroad about fifteen feet from my bedroom wall? On the upside, the train doesn’t always come at 5:30 a.m.

Ouch. *Almost drops hot pan of Italian flat bread* There are three oven racks in the oven. Why?? After burning myself twice in two days, I’m taking one rack out.

*Snap* The roomie and I went for a pleasant walk at dusk. And I took the camera to capture the quaintness of Victorian architecture, a deserted yet beautiful park, quiet streets and a little coffee shop that we simply must frequent. My synopsis: “I love (my new town).”

The last ten days are a blur. When I wasn't at the house, I was at work or at church or at Lowe's. Or some other building center.

There was SO much that needed to be done in a short period of time. Praise God for the family of believers that helped me out whenever possible. It seemed like there were at least 10 people there during the evenings and Saturdays. Major thanks go to The Mom who worked at my house almost every waking moment. Not only is she willing, but she is more capable than anyone else I know. She paints and operates power tools! On that note, I have now acquired the skill of "cutting in" while painting. And I'm good at it! I had to be good at it, because of the clean lines that needed to be painted... because we chose beautiful dark, rich paint colors.

Remember this bit of wisdom: in home renovation, nothing good ever follows the words, "The bad news is..." In my case, the bad news was that we needed to replace all the plumbing in the house. Yes, ALL. This was semi-expected because of the nature of the home purchase, but I was hoping against hope. Oh well, life goes on and I go to Lowe's to buy pipe, T's, a sink and a new water heater. Through the next week, plumbing was *the* thorn in my flesh and twice the cause of my tears. And then I decided indoor plumbing was waaaay overrated, and we should go without.... just kidding!! My roomies would leave. Maybe I would, too. It's amazing how cranky one gets when you can't brush your teeth. :)

Some projects we accomplished in the last week...
Priming and painting all the bedrooms: ceilings, trim and walls.
Steam cleaning bedroom carpets.
Cleaning all windows.
Removing bathroom floor.
Priming and painting the living room, dining room, stairway and kitchen.
Removing carpet in living room, stairway and dining room.
(including staples and nails--I didn't do that myself, but I heard it was fun! LOL)
Painting hardwood floor in living room.
Repairing drywall in dining room and ceiling in kitchen.
Replacing carpet in dining room.
Replacing all electrical cover plates.
Sanding and painting kitchen cabinets.

And that's just a taste of what we did. My actual to-do list was 1 1/2 pages long typed. Not including the jobs performed by skilled individuals like my dad and brother, the plumber from my work, and a handyman.


Lessons Learned-How to Love Your Volunteers/aka. Brothers & Sisters in Christ:
1. Feed Them. Remember that "Will Work for Food" motto? It's really true. Subconsciously, your helper-people's enthusiasm will wane until suppertime. After a half-hour of eating, drinking and being merry (just an expression, no alcohol involved), somehow life seems so much brighter and everyone's spirits are revived. A little sustenance goes a long way. :) Pizza and fruit smiles kept us going... until my parents generously gave me a grill as an early housewarming gift! So we grilled!!!
2. Be Ready for Them.
With a specific job for each person, tools, materials and a little perspective ("be careful, but I won't disown you as my friend if you mess up").
3. Work Harder Than Anyone Else.
Y'all are gonna laugh... I wore the same pair of jeans throughout the renovation process. :) And now they are painted every color of the house, with a significant amount of primer, spackle and unidentified cleaning solution layered on there. I think I'm keeping them for a souvenir. Or actually, just to work on every other house project for the next couple years. My jeans are a testimony of the "enthusiasm" with which I worked.
4. Make It Pleasant.
Turn on some music. I liked worship music, esp. Hillsongs United. Make jokes! Not a problem for me or my family or pretty much anyone in the church....We're silly. Whenever the Body of Christ gets together, we have a good time--no matter what we're doing!
5. Be Thankful.
Be genuinely thankful for everyone's contribution of time, effort, cleanliness and the sacrifice of their own leisure. I know that if my friends had not helped, I'd be doing these projects until next year. And my house would not be livable. I am going to write thank-you notes... as soon as I find them! Which box are they packed in?

I don't think it's wrong to ask for help... we're the Body of Christ! We're supposed to bear one another's burdens! I do think it's wrong to depend on others to do the work for you. I am so grateful for the love displayed by my brothers and sisters this week... Helping out, checking in on the progress, being excited for me, mowing my lawn, bringing food or ice, sending encouraging emails, commiserating on challenges, smiling and just being family.

And just in case you think my house is now perfect and beautiful and a haven of peace: there's power tools on my kitchen counter, carpet tack strips on the dining room table and a hole in the bathroom wall (how cool! I can see downstairs!). Hahaha... Don't hate! It's a process! :)

... or, "Things I Love about My New House"

• The sound of quiet waters from the nearby creek
• Two-story farmhouse style (good memories!)
• Super-nice little old ladies for neighbors
• A lilac bush
• The cozy new paint colors
• The afternoon sunlight in my bedroom
• In-town-but-not-on-a-hillside... You would have to see the town to fully appreciate this one.
• In-town-but-not-surrounded-by-too-many-people. After living on a mountain, towns can be quite a shock. My street is calm, with only a few houses! Yes!
• A front porch
• Walking distance to a beautiful park… and a parkside café with good ice cream!
• The thrilling concept of my own mailbox
• A faux fireplace (it’s better than no fireplace!)
• Black-eyed susans

I'm not even moved in yet. We are diligently working at completing important projects before move-in. Yeah, it's a time crunch. But just after spending hours there working, these things have made me happy.